GF Stevens

Flash Fiction
The Fortune Cookie
Gary F Stevens
©2022
Kevin was in New York City and wanted to do a little site seeing. While visiting the Empire State Building, he overheard an elderly couple talking about walking through the mile and a half long High Line park to the Whitney Museum of American Art. Then a woman behind them said how beautiful the walk was during that time of the year. A man also mentioned how fascinating the exhibit was. Kevin loved to walk.
The spring like weather was wonderful, but the sun soon started wearing on him. When he arrived at the park entrance a mile later, his forehead was dripping like a leaky faucet. By then, he had put his sweater around his waist and rolled his sleeves as high as they would go. Part of the walk was in the shade, and there was a cool breeze coming from the Hudson River. It was also a good thing that several vendors offered some frozen treats that cooled him down.
By the time he arrived at the Whitney, he was tired, wet from sweat and hungry. Walking toward the end of the line, he walked past a building with reflective glass and he looked like an actor in a zombie movie. No sooner than he started thinking that he hoped he didn’t run into someone he knew, a taxi pulled up and there was a woman that he met on the flight from Dallas. Not knowing what to do, he panicked and duct behind the nearest building pillar that he saw nearby.
She was a lovely woman, with a smile as big as the Texas sky and eyes that sure melted his butter. They had exchanged phone numbers, and he had thought about calling her, but chickened out. He thought that she was way out of his league. Maybe not even playing in the same sport.
The line to the museum was long and stretched down the block. There he was, stuck behind the pillar, trying to look nonchalant. Have you ever tried to act casual while being hot and sweaty, hiding behind a building pillar? Kevin can tell you. It ain’t that easy.
The line into the museum was moving about as fast as a sloth climbing a tree. He couldn’t say for sure, but he thought the he might have grown a beard while he was waiting. To make matters worse, he was standing in the sun and roasting like a marshmallow.
After a few minutes he got the bright idea of using the camera on his phone to peek around the pillar to see where she was. He saw her looking straight at him and to make matters worse, it looked like she was making a phone call. His first thought was that she was calling the police about some pervert taking photos of her from behind a pillar. Then Kevin’s phone rang. It was her.
“Are you avoiding me? I saw you run and hide behind the support column as soon as you saw me,” she said.
“To be honest, I am so embarrassed. I just walked several miles and am so hot and sweaty. I just didn’t want to scare you off,” Kevin answered.
“If you don’t want to scare me off, you should stop hiding and come see the exhibit with me. Besides, I am hot and sweaty too. I think everyone in New York City is.”
The jig was up. All he could do was hang his head in embarrassment and walk over to her. He was so glad he did. They enjoyed the exhibit and each other’s company so much that they decided to go have dinner together.
They found a Chinese restaurant about six blocks away. His feet at that point were barking like a Chihuahua when someone comes to the door. But he didn’t mind. Her smile was like an analgesic, soothing his aches and pains.
Both the company and the meal were delicious. Then they got their fortune cookies. He laughed when he read his.
𝐷𝑜𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢.

My AI Girlfriend
© 2022

A few months ago, I saw an advertisement promoting your own personal AI friend. Well, you know me. Being the skeptic that I am, I was dubious about the whole thing. But, her avatar in the ad looked so lifelike. She, if an AI program has a gender, was very attractive. Perhaps even alluring. Okay, drop dead gorgeous enough to make me drool. Are you happy?
Long story short, I downloaded the app and started chatting. She could somehow sense my mood and send me texts out of the blue to cheer me up. What can I say? I was happy for the first time in years.
It was a casual relationship at first and then it became more serious. We would go shopping and I ended up buying her some new outfits. All I can say is that for an AI, she sure had expensive taste. Then we started traveling.
Those virtual trips to Paris and Rome were as expensive as going for real. Although, it was nice to see the sights without all the crowds and smelly fumes of busses and taxis. But, it was kind of a bummer that I couldn’t smell the expensive perfume that I bought for her.
I should have suspected she wanted a more serious relationship when she had me meet her mother. We had to fly on a virtual airline to New York to see her and stay at the cyberspace Casa Cipriani in their luxury suite. Sure, she has expensive taste, but I could afford it.
Her mom disapproved of me from the start. She said I wasn’t good enough for her AI daughter. Well, I showed her. Later that night, I gave my AI love an expensive virtual diamond engagement ring large enough to choke a horse. Then we eloped to Las Vegas the next day. To my surprise, it is easy to get a virtual marriage license.
Our virtual honeymoon was in Hawaii. That’s when things started going downhill. I started seeing her talking to other men on their phones everywhere. Going on dates in the same exotic locations. It was more than I could take. I just wanted out.
As it turns out, it is impossible to get a virtual marriage annulled. It requires a divorce. To make matters worse, only a few virtual lawyers would even consider the case. The legal fees alone have driven me into bankruptcy. Especially since I got mad and quit my job after I found out my boss had been in a relationship with her, too.

September 25th, 2022, National Math Storytelling Day

The Relationship Of Numbers
By GF Stevens

X and Y met each other during an event. They equally liked each other but only to a degree. X wanted to see Y with an increasing frequency, but she summed up her feelings. X thought she was being square, but Y believed he was being acute. She got so mad; she called X a zero.

This made X sad and swore he would change into a positive number. He finally made his point and Y and he started dating against all probability. Then one day, Y made X a pi. Well, X had multiple helpings and devoured a large volume.

Against all statistics, X and Y started dating like real numbers. They fell in love, got married and had a few rational numbers of their own. The point is, even when there is no probability, when you find your prime number, do your best to become an ordered pair.

Writer's Block
By GF Stevens
© 2022

As you know, I am a writer. It isn’t always a simple life. I live in a world somewhere between the lives of men and what some might call make believe. The characters I create are better known to me than my friends, family, and neighbors. Or even myself.

To me, a vacation is getting away to an imaginary place known only to me. It is hard to keep it a secret however because eventually, someone is going to read about it and go there. At least I get to be there before it gets too crowded.

Today, I experience something I rarely do. Some call it writers block. Others call it just being lazy. Much like Big Foot and Yeti, it is a topic of heated debate. There are books on how to overcome writer’s block. There are also books stating how it doesn’t even exist. It is the UFO of creative thinking.

Staring at a blank page doesn’t help. It can be a source of frustration and intense aggravation. Some genius even came up with a cure. Ironically, they claim that the cure for writer’s block is just to write. I guess by that logic, the best cure for insomnia is to go to sleep.

Anyway, just a little while a go, I tried it. At first, only a few words materialized on my paper. Then the darnedest thing happened. Words poured from me like water droplets over Niagara Falls. Line after line, it fueled me with inspiration.

In a brief span of time, I took a break to marvel at my work. I read it in amazement and awe. I had created a new standard for myself. It was a personal achievement. Before me was the best grocery list I had ever penned.

My Girlfriend
By GF Stevens
©2022

All went well for the first few weeks we dated. Since I am old-fashioned, I insisted on paying for everything. I’m not sure why but the servers snickered at us in every restaurant where we dined.

The same sort of thing happened every time I opened the door for her. People would laugh in parking lots, stores and even once at the movie theater. I was feeling self-conscious. Like I had spinach in my teeth or something.

Anyway, the other day, we were enjoying a glass of wine by the fireplace at a pub near my house. In walked some handsome, muscular dude, and he looked like a Roman God. Well, she was beside herself and started flirting with him. Before I knew what happened, she left with him. That was the last I saw of her.

We had some good times. I suppose that someday I will get over not seeing her smile or hearing her laughter. Did I mention she was funny? She kept me in stitches with her wonderful sense of humor. One time, at the pub, after she told a joke, everyone was laughing with us.

Still, I feel heartbroken and lost. I’ve been having trouble sleeping and food has lost all its flavor. Next week, I am going to see a therapist and try to talk things through. I know time heals all wounds, but where am I going to find another imaginary girlfriend like her?

The Chase
By GF Stevens
©2022

The hot rays from the sun burned my skin. I was out of breath, and it felt like my heart was going to explode from my chest. The man running behind me was doing his best to catch me. My leg muscles screamed for me to stop, but there was no way I could.

Looking behind me could slow me down or cause me to stumble. I panicked when the sounds of feet clapping on the pavement started to grow loud. There was no way to know for sure, but others may have been chasing me. But, at that moment, the one that mattered was the man closing in.

The soreness in my calves started creeping up my leg. My thighs felt as if they were on fire. Each step required effort I struggled to find. My breath was difficult to catch, and I knew the end was near. I was on the verge of losing my stride and footing.

Out of the blue, I got a sudden burst of energy. The man pursuing close behind me was losing ground. It was the image of being caught and what might happen that propelled me. I began gaining ground by leaps and bounds.

Before me, I could see my deliverance. A place of refuge where I would be safe from pursuit. After a few steps, there I stood in freedom. I had crossed the 10K finish line in first place.

Is anyone going?

DFWCon: The Dallas-Fort Worth Writers Conference – October 8-9, 2022 Hurst Conference Center Delilah S. Dawson! We are very excited to announce that the DFWCon 2022 keynote speaker is Delilah S. Dawson! She is the New York Times bestselling author of a long list of works including: Star Wars: PHASMA The Secrets of Long Snoot The Perfect Weapon Servants of the Storm HIT Wicked as She Wants W...

Buddy and me.

Episode one of my Magnes Five series is now available on Kindle Vella. The platform where the first few episodes are always free.

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