The Relationship Therapist

Anyone, regardless of their attachment style, can form a secure-functioning relationship.

There is nothing wrong with any particular style. Attachment is simply a memory-based system to organize oneself around dependency and protect against harm.

When we lead partners towards secure functioning, we’re not trying to “cure” them of their attachment styles. We’re simply giving them the tools necessary to create a more secure culture in their current relationship.

In a secure-functioning relationship, partners modify their memories and reduce the need to defend themselves from being hurt. They don’t try to change one another, but instead, learn how to work with each other’s attachment style to predict and prevent problems.