Parentmind

You don’t calculate a human’s worth in bathroom skills or W-2s. You measure it in humanity. In joy, in presence, in love…❤️ Please share this with others if this video message resonates with you. ➡️ #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversityaffirming #slpsofinstagram

This might sound harsh, but here’s the reality: many behavior plans are built on surface-level observations. They aim to fix what’s visible—without ever asking deeply enough why the behavior is happening, or what the body is experiencing underneath.

When plans prioritize compliance over inner validation…
When they reward masking and suppressing real needs…
When they push through distress with tokens and timers…

They’re laying the foundation for Autistic Burnout.

We can do better. With curiosity. With interoception. With care that seeks to understand the whole autistic person.

Image Description: Picture of road map that says “​​What if the Behavior Plan is a Roadmap to Autistic Burnout?”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the words “”bad mom.”” For so long they were in my head as I doubted my every action as a parent, and saw so many of them fail. And don’t even get me started on the number of times I’ve been called a bad mom (and much worse!) by people who don’t know me, my child, or understand PDA. But as my trial and error has helped my son so much over time, I’ve come to hear the words in my head so much more (and to happily delete them here on social media). And that’s the confidence I want you to have, too, and that I’ve seen so many parents reclaim in my signature Paradigm Shift Program. Comment “PSP” below and we will share a link with the details of the program and an opportunity to join the waitlist for early access to enrollment 🙌 Or, if you’re not sure if your child is PDA, my free Clarity Masterclass can help you figure it out. Comment “Clarity” below for a link. #pathologicaldemandavoidance #autism #autismawareness #autismacceptance #autismmom #autismparent #autismparenting #neurodiversity #sensoryprocessingdisorder #sensoryintegration #adhd #adhdkids #adhdkid #traumainformed #traumainformedschools #traumainformedcare #traumainformedparenting #oppositionaldefiantdisorder #parenting #motherhoodishard #parents #sensoryintegration #selfregulation #selfregulationskills #autisticwomen #highlysensitivechild #highlysensitivepeople #spiritedchild #pervasivedriveforautonomy

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/05/science/steve-silberman-dead.html?smtyp=cur&smid=fb-nytscience&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR3iDZs_k7MpcaiWgKcoyV2dMfzw0M33onf0B5MszL0T1BVUt3dMH96gmLw_aem_BgBIhdGNnttLke_GFIfatw

Steve Silberman, 66, Dies; Writer Deepened Understanding of Autism Prodded by Oliver Sacks, he wrote a humane, award-winning book about the condition. A music maven, he also wrote liner notes for the Grateful Dead and his friend David Crosby.

If we want our kids to have connection behaviors, we have to get curious about why they are in protection mode and then offer them the opportunity to shift into connection mode.

We want to help their “danger-danger” system feel invited into safety.

Also, notice I send 'invited.' Unfortunately, we cannot yank or demand someone into connection mode.

Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is available in paperback, audio, and eBook wherever you buy books online.

Teachers have to navigate complex dynamics when communicating with parents in order to remain professional, however they really wish they could sometimes share their frustrations about you! (I was a teacher - It's real.)

It's always good to have another perspective and a chance to reflect. It's how we can encourage a respectful and collaborative relationship.

All about the stress response.

This makes so much sense. I’ve been really stuck on HOW to teach “coping” skills and haven't found a good answer.

This explains why…

It’s really about the connection they receive over and over again before they can even begin to use upper part of the brain (cortex) strategies to logically process skills.

This co-regulation needs to happen first and that begins with you parents.

🤗