Muq Manor

"Daaang, you got a skylight in your reproductive room??"

"It could be a rich person, it could be a baked potato. Who knows"

"What's the fu***ng point?! Vegan pizza, alcohol-free beer?! I want to kill myself"

"You're in your 20's - you need an addiction"

"You know, it was kind of comforting in college knowing my degree was going to be useless"

"That's the whitest thing I've ever heard"

Muq-ass signs in a Muq-ass city

"I don't know why, but talking to you brings my little inner racist out"

"I've gone into a porta-potty fu**ed up and made myself puke just so I could keep drinking"

"Where's your bathroom?"
"My what?"
"Your bathroom"
"Oh, you mean my-

Just heard a Domino's ad that said "Download the Domino's Rewards app today and become a 'Piece of the Pie' rewards member!" and as soon as I heard the word "piece" my brain autofilled in "Download the Domino's Rewards app today and become a piece of s**t!"

"Where are you from?"
"Texas"
"What part?"
"Florida"
"what"
"Florida"
"... in Texas?"
"yeah"
".... ok"