Rex A Hunter

I live with a sense of urgency.

Queen, the rock band, asks in a song, “Who Wants to Live Forever?”

One of the other verses is:

“There's no chance for us.
It's all decided for us.
This world has only one sweet moment.
Set aside for us.”

The question I have been asking is “How long is that one sweet moment?”

I remember a fellow in high school pointed out to me that if eternity is a never-ending line our time on the line is merely a dot. Somehow, I have forgotten that lesson over the years.

Always putting off tomorrow what I can do today. It has only been recently that I have this feeling of impending finality. Perhaps it is because I'm seeing more and more of the people, I went to high school with either retiring or passing away.

I believed that I was immune to disease and aging. I'm figuring out that I am not.

Because of this realization, I have started living with a sense of urgency.

I'm no longer procrastinating regarding my physical health. I'm eating cleaner and most of eating less of the crap I use to throw down my throat.

I'm no longer procrastinating regarding my mental health. I've cut down considerably on social media and watching the news that poisons my peace.

I'm no longer procrastinating regarding my relationships with others. I'm working on having deeper and more meaningful conversations not only with family but with others that I come in contact with every day.

I'm no longer procrastinating regarding my business. I'm taking action every day to make my business stronger and more successful.

I realize that I can live a life worth living when I live with a sense of urgency.

The One Where Is There Is No Squirrel

In the movie UP! there is a dog with a collar that allows him to speak English. He will start a sentence and in the middle of the thought he yells "Squirrel!" I am like that sometimes.

I have been working on my focus and concentration. In the past, I would have the TV running in the background as I'm reading or writing a story. I imagine I started the habit back in my high school days.

Doing math homework while Lynyrd Skynyrd was blasting from my stereo system. I remember my Dad would come busting into my bedroom. "Turn that crap off! How can you concentrate with that racket going on?" he would yell.

I have to admit he was right and it is even worse today for most people. Start to read, Facebook bings, gotta check that out. Back to the book, oops there goes the email, that might be important. Too many distractions, if you let them get to you.

How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life, writes, "Distraction is the opposite of traction." And says, "If you care about your work, your family, and your physical and mental well-being, you must learn to become indistractable." My Heroic Self instantly gets this. My Lesser Self, however, wants to recheck Facebook. Oh, look, another alert on my phone. The ability to focus though, becoming indistractable, I recognize is a great superpower.

The One Where Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner

"Nobody puts baby in the corner?" said Johnny about his student and love interest Baby in the movie Dirty Dancing.

But what does that mean? In doing a little research one site, Digital Cultures says "The expression is used for stating that talent should not be suppressed and tucked away out of sight, instead it should be displayed and embraced."

People tend to like labels. "What do you do? they will ask. Most will respond with a short answer like when you were asked as a child "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Oh, I'm a teacher." "Oh, I'm a lawyer." "I'm a Realtor". one of my least favorite answers.

I told the story the other day about having an odd conversation on the procedure table as I was being prepped for a colonoscopy.

The nurse anesthetist asked me "What do you do?" to keep my mind off of what I was about to experience.

As he was about to put the needle in my arm I reply, "I'm a marketer and I invest in real estate, I'm an Asset Control Specialist."

He stops what he is about to do and starts asking me a series of questions. "What is that?" "How can I find out more about that?" I have followed up and given him a link to start him on his journey of discovery.

My Lesser Self likes to hide behind labels. It's easier if they don't ask me too much about what I do the Lesser Self convinces you.

My Heroic Self is always adapting and changing and finding the best way to keep from being boxed in and out of the corner.

The One With The Oddest Conversation
As I'm laying on the procedure table for my colonoscopy this week, I had the oddest conversation.

As they wheeled me in the nurse anesthetist asked how I'm doing. 'Doing ok just fighting the anxiety," I tell him.

To get my mind off of it he asks, "What do you do?"

"I'm an Asset Control Specialist," I tell him.

He was getting ready to deliver the anesthetic and stopped before he can put the needle in the catheter. "What's that?"

"Well, I find frustrated sellers and offer them different solutions to get them the result they want," I reply.

"So, do you flip houses?" he asks.

"That is one exit strategy but, there are others," I inform him.

"Do you do repairs to the houses yourself if you buy them?" he continues.

"No, I find a who that can do it for me. You might want to read the book Who Not How." I reply.

"Do you have a website?" he asks as he grabs a piece of paper from my chart by the table.

"Sure, rexahunter.com/followmyjourney," I say and that is the last thing I remember. The needle went in and I went out.

The One Where I Move The Needle

When I was a teenager, our music came either from the radio or what is now known as vinyl. We called them records.

The two most popular sizes were 45s and 33 1/2 long play records. The numbers had to do with the RPMs the records were played. The 45s had one song on each side and the long plays would hold about 6 or 7 per side.

Yes, when one side was done you have to get up, go to the record player, flip the record over and replace the needle onto the groves of the records. It was barbaric.

Remember we didn't have cable TV, the internet, or smartphones in the seventies so I would play a record over and over again.

The worst was when the needle of the phonograph would get stuck. A defect in the record is usually caused by playing the record repeatedly.

The only way to unstick the needle was to gently bump the side of the record player or flick the arm that held the needle.

I've been stuck sometimes in my life. Doing the same activities and hoping that I would get a different result.

I have discovered that these "sticking points" in life offer a chance to grow. A chance to develop new maneuvers, so we can learn to handle more. A chance to change the tune you are dancing to and move on with your life.

My Heroic Self, for this reason, is committed to getting "unstuck".

The One Where I Serve A Higher Ambition

Growing up, I never saw myself as competitive.

I was always the kid that worried about how other people felt. I took their wants into consideration and put myself on the back burner. Believing that I was serving the greater good by subjugating myself for others.

I attribute much of that to having older parents. By the time I was ten years old, they were in their fifties. They had already climbed their Everest.

My Dad invested in real estate and owned five or six duplexes, vacant land around the town, and a condo. All the infrastructure was in place for me to be brought up comfortably, not wanting for much at all except the newest game or a bike.

I did not see the struggle that must have been their burden to bear before I came along.

Things in life have come easy to me. I met and then married the girl of my dreams, went to the college of my dreams, and had two lovely children who have grown up to be fine citizens and productive in society. Now I have a grandson that is the apple of my eye.

This easy life has done me a disservice for much too long.

My daily battle with the Lesser Self centers around pushing myself to be uncomfortable. To instill in me the need to see ambition as an asset to which I can make my family's life easier on down the road.

I realize that to be the best version of myself I must foster the asset of ambition.

I used to think of ambition as a bad thing, but we need ambitious people who seek to solve big problems because their positive ambition can offset the other form of ambition that manifests as evil. Never allow someone to belittle your ambition, which is an awesome asset.

The One Where I Know What I'm Doing Today & This Day Forward

How many years in real estate did I wake up and wonder what the day would bring? And not in a good way.

Bouncing from phone call to phone call, at the whim of any email that hit my inbox and responding like Pavlov's dogs. Jumping to the tune that someone else was playing. Never marching to the beat of my own drum.

StoryAthlete and Partner have weaned me off of this treadmill people calling serving others.

Don't get me wrong. I am still customer service oriented and I've found that I can be most effective when I run my own race.

Working from a blueprint of my choosing that starts with a base of reading, listening to podcasts that feed my spirit and challenge my beliefs, and exercising so that I have the endurance to run my race to the finish line.

Finally landing in bed at a reasonable time so I can run the race again and say to myself. Job well done.

The One Where I Seek My Truth

I've found the more I research, learn, read, and listen to the thoughts and ideas of others, the more I realize I don't know.

In the past, I saw the world as black and white. Work hard, take the weekends for your family, get a week or two of vacation and you will be rewarded in the end. The pension, the gold watch, and your golden years spend playing shuffleboard and scoping out early bird specials at the local cafeteria.

For a young person growing up in the sixties and seventies, this was what life was all about.

When I saw that corporate life was not a guarantee of financial freedom, I went into business with my Dad. We had a good run. I paid the bills, and got the kids through college but, I had no time for myself.

The whole work/life balance idea was an old wife's tale that kept me coming back for more.

It was not until StoryAthlete under its various forms did I embrace the non-consensus view of work/life integration.

The idea that I could through systems, funnels, and story-telling build a life of increasing and predictable income.

What's even better is that by spending a few hours a day reading, and writing I have the ability to spend more quality time with those I care about.

It is when I got out of my own way and stopped listening to those that would have me believe "you just can't do that" will be saying "How the f**k did you do THAT?"

The One With The Wolf At The Back Of The Pack

"Is your husband ok?" a lady on one of our cruise excursions ask my wife who is watching me navigate Dunn's Falls in Jamaica.

"He's fine, he always brings up the rear." my wife states confidently.

If you have ever watched a nature show about wolfs you learn the alpha wolf does lead the pack. The reason is that he is stronger and in the winter can cut a path through the snow for the other wolfs.

What you may not realize is that the older, weaker wolves are in the middle of the pack.

The stronger non-alpha wolfs are at the rear of the pack. They have experience in survival and ensure that the pack is not surprised from behind by some other predator.

The middle of the pack's purpose is to be a diversion in case of attack. They will be sacrificed by the front and the back of the pack so that the females and children will survive.

While the wolves in the back do their best to protect the pack using their strength and experience, it is the young alpha that can execute the plan for the ultimate survival of those who will keep the lineage going.

Longevity doesn't guarantee ability. True ability is the person who can execute. The Lesser Self loves to hang his hat on longevity and his decades of experience.

The Heroic Self knows experience doesn't guarantee effectiveness. For this reason, I value ability over experience.

My Heroic Self solves problems, sets deadlines, thinks strategically, and gets s**t done at a high standard. (A young pup with the ability can whoop an old dog with experience. Ability + Experience is the force multiplier.)

I'm still counting myself in on my ability and experience and that is why you will find me bringing up the rear.

The One Where I Had To Be Calm

As my parents aged and not being in the best health, they ended up in the emergency room of the hospital quite often.

It seemed that the default setting for assisted living was "when in doubt, send them to the ER." In fact, one of the ER doctors asked me after the third visit in the same week "What is going on over there?"

If you want to visit a building full of emotions, go to the ER.

On one occasion, my Mom had fallen and bruised her ribs pretty good, they run the typical battery of tests. CBC, Chem Profile, Sed Rate, and of course x-rays.

Once she got back from radiology, I sat and comforted her. She was upset that she fell but really wasn't worse for the wear.

"I don't know what I'd do without you. You always calm me when I'm upset," she said.

"It's ok Mom, I'll always be here to keep you going," I promised

Until one day I couldn't.

It was a couple of years later when I got a call from assisted living. It was 4 am. 'Your Mom is headed to the hospital, Mr. Hunter. It's bad this time."

When I got to the ER the bed she was assigned was empty. As a nurse approached I ask. "Do you know where Della Hunter is?"

"I think they took her to get an MRI," she stated

That was new, I thought. She must have hit her head hard this time.

As they wheel my unconscious Mother into the room the Doctor is following right behind.

"You her son?" the doctor askes with concern in his voice.

"Yes, I am. What's going on?" I ask.

He pops the film into the X-ray view box. I can see right away that it is a view of her head and ninety percent of it is black. I don't know much about medicine but I know that was not a good sign.

"She had a brain aneurysm and it was massive," he states as he looks at me out of the side of his eye.

"What are our options?" I ask already knowing the choices are going to be bleak.

"We could transport her to the main hospital and do surgery to try to relieve the pressure and remove some of the blood." he trails off.

"Or?" I finish his sentence.

"Or, we can keep her as comfortable as we can and wait for her to pass," he says with empathy in his voice.

I blink two or three times quickly weighing the chances of her surviving the surgery and having any chance of living with the same quality of life.

"One more question doctor. Say she survives the surgery what are the chances of her living a normal life?"

"Quite frankly, at the age of 91 and in her feeble condition, I don't think she will make it off the table and if she does I would give her a couple of weeks at best," he states.

"Understood, let's keep her comfortable. Can we get her into a hospice directly from the hospital?" I ask resolutely.

"I'll make it happen," he says as he walks out of the room.

As I sit on the side of her bed holding her hand and brushing her hair back the doctor comes back into the room.

"Mr. Hunter?" Yes? "I want to tell you that you made the best choice for your Mother. I can't tell you how many people fall apart or want to do anything to keep their loved one alive for just one more week, not for their loved one but for themselves."

He pats me on the shoulder as he walks away. "Your Mom would be proud."

An Honest Day's Work For A Honest Day's Pay

"An honest day's work for a day's pay." my Dad would say when I was coming home from working at the shoe store as a teenager.

He took pride in that living by that motto and I did too.

Not looking up to see other opportunities, just putting in the time and doing my best for whoever was paying me. Passively drifting along ignorant of using the knowledge I picked up while making money for someone else.

As a StoryAthlete, I've taken my nose away from the grindstone and opened my ears and my mind to the infinite possibilities that are available in today's modern society.

Is it easy? No. I am learning new technologies and a new way of thinking through positioning myself to benefit myself and others.

Do I feel dumb sometimes? Yes. It takes a lot of simplifying the complex for me to grasp what seems like common sense to others.

Will I give up and fade into my golden years? Hell no! I'm always seeking lessons. Sharing my journey and inviting you to come along for the ride.

Like the PSA when I was a kid: "What you gonna do today? I think I'll share."