Suck What

Well... this escalated quickly.

A few years ago, Suck What® was a joke. Now we're the Featured Local Business for June at First United Bank's Prosper and Park Cities locations.

We're as confused as anyone.

Somewhere along the way, a crawfish-boil joke turned into a trademarked brand, a website, a growing line of merchandise, and apparently something respectable enough for a bank to put on display.

To the teams at First United Bank Prosper and Park Cities, thank you for the opportunity and for supporting local businesses. We genuinely appreciate the recognition.

To everyone who's bought merch, shared a post, stopped by a booth, or told a friend about us—you're the reason this ridiculous idea keeps growing.

We're still not entirely sure what we're doing, but we're doing it with enthusiasm.

The plan was never world domination.

The plan was to make people laugh.

The fact that we're accidentally doing both is just a bonus.

Before anyone says anything: Yes, I know the profile picture is missing. In a stunning display of technical expertise, I clicked the wrong button. And because I'm Meta Verified, I'm now serving a mandatory 3-day waiting period before they'll let me fix my own mistake. Apparently identity verification is important, but protecting me from myself is their real priority.

🦞 Suck What®
® Trademarked. Somehow.
🏦 Bank approved. Allegedly.
🌎 Empire status: Under construction.

🚨 WE GOT BOTH OUR R’S 🚨

That’s right… both trademarks are officially registered and Suck What® is now fully locked in. 😎🦞

What started as a joke somehow turned into a real brand, a real business, and apparently… a future world domination strategy.

We’re updating our website, https://suckwhat.com, so if the website starts looking a little chaotic over the next few days, don’t panic. We’re just over here making it prettier, faster, and slightly more unhinged.

Thank y’all for riding with us from the beginning — every order, festival, follow, share, laugh, and “where’d you get that?” helped get us here.

Now if you’ll excuse us, we have important crawfish empire business to attend to. 🔥

Well… we officially got our first little ®. 😎🦞

One trademark down, one to go — and honestly the second one could come through any minute now. Somewhere at the USPTO there’s probably a confused government employee asking themselves why they suddenly know so much about crawfish.

What started as a joke turned into a business… then a brand… and now it’s officially protected. Wild.

Thank y’all for every order, share, follow, festival visit, laugh, and for supporting this chaotic little crawfish empire from day one.

To the copycats:
respectfully… suck what. ❤️

The best is still ahead. 🔥

We’re about to Suck What at the CelinaCajunFest!
Come join us!
#2026

For once, we only had to drive about 20 miles to absolute chaos. 😂🦞🎶

Suck What is headed to Celina Cajun Fest 2026 on May 9th, and somehow they managed to combine crawfish, cold drinks, Cajun chaos, and the Eli Young Band into one event.

Honestly… sounds medically irresponsible.
We’ll see y’all there.🔥

I had plans for this planter box I found in Tahlequah, OK during the Linney Breaux's & Kroner and Baer's Crawfish Festival a few weeks back. Boomer obviously has other ideas.

From love bugs to mud bugs, live music, and a whole lotta people… another one for the books 🙌

Good times, full bellies, and zero regrets (okay maybe one… but we won’t talk about that 🦞🍻).

Rumor has it next year there’s a new venue in the works to handle the crowd—so yeah… we’re just getting started.

Huge thank you to Sara Leger for the hospitality—you made it easy to have an absolute blast! 💛

We hydroplaned just about the entire way to Lake Charles… like fully committed, white-knuckled, “this is fine” energy. 🌧️🚗💨

But let’s be real — there was NO chance we were missing the 4th Annual Crawfish Boil-Off at McVey’s Seafood. Not for rain, not for puddles, not for questionable driving decisions.

Good news… the rain’s gone ☀️
Even better news… the teams are already prepping 🔥🦞

So pull up, dry off, and get ready — it’s about to go down.