Bake and Destroy

This month marks five years since I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and decided, more than halfway to my 41st year of life, to change things. I spent a year alternating between daily pilates and Peloton, and by September 2021 I was living in an entirely new body. I was “skinny” but not strong, so I still struggled with low energy, food guilt, and a fear that if I ever stopped dieting, it would all slip away from me.
A few months into 2022, reached out and offered to coach me. In a move that surprised even me, I said OK.
When I got my first nutrition plan I cried. So. Many. Calories. But I’d explained my journey to Belinda, and she knew the kind of tough love I needed. She encouraged me to trust the process, and for some reason, I did, and I trusted her too.
I had to get over the idea that the gym was a daunting place full of muscle bros who were going to laugh at me. I had to forget about a meaningless number on a scale, and I had to learn to eat like someone who doesn’t want to shrink, but rather, someone who takes up the space she deserves.
After our first year together, Belinda printed out a stack of testimonials from people I’d referred to her. They said things like, “I can carry my daughter up stairs without running out of breath” and “I’m finally not scared of food” and I cried again.
What a privilege it is to be able to reinvent yourself. How freeing to know that it’s never too late to break a bad habit, or form a good one. What an honor it is to share those things with others, and to see them blossom too.
I know this journey has not been for everyone, and I’ve lost some folks along the way. Understandable that if you fell in love with the girl who made Doritos-crusted fried tofu you might not recognize the woman who eats Overnight TVP for breakfast. I still love food. I still really love a sweet treat. But now I can love those things and myself, too. So if you stuck with me, even if this part of me isn’t your favorite, I appreciate you.
And to Belinda, and Vicki, and Amanda, and all of the people who have dedicated their lives to helping others achieve strength and health, thank you.

Happy National Meatball Day! 💪🏻 I’m super happy to be back home and resuming the Gym Tofu Laundry life. 🏋🏻‍♀️🌱🧺 This shirt’s in my shop, duh.