Think and Try Learning Center

Sometimes the best thing a parent can do is nothing at all, Russell Shaw wrote in 2024. https://theatln.tc/Qmgj2pix

“I’ve spent the past 30 years working in schools, and I’ve watched thousands of parents engage with educators and with their children. Too often, I watch parents overfunctioning—depriving their kids of the confidence that comes from struggling and persevering, and exhausting themselves in the process,” Shaw writes. The problem seems to be growing more acute as parents worry that their children will be less well off than they are.

The urge to prevent our children’s suffering has led to pop-culture mythology around pushy parenting styles, including the “Helicopter Parent,” who flies in to rescue a child in crisis, and the “Snowplow Parent,” who flattens any obstacle in their child’s way.

But “a young person who grows accustomed to having a parent intervene on his behalf begins to believe that he’s not capable of acting on his own, feeding both anxiety and dependence,” Shaw continues. “If children never have the opportunity to stand on their own, we risk setting them up for a collapse later on.”

Shaw instead makes the case for a “Lighthouse Parent”: “Like a lighthouse that helps sailors avoid crashing into rocks, Lighthouse Parents provide firm boundaries and emotional support while allowing their children the freedom to navigate their own challenges. They demonstrate that they trust their kids to handle difficult situations independently. The key is learning when to step back and let them find their own way.”

Read more: https://theatln.tc/Qmgj2pix

📸: Peter Marlow / Magnum