Integro

Thought for the Day

There’s a lot of pessimism around at the moment, and there are good reasons for some of it. Being pessimistic is a reasonable coping strategy because then you’re not disappointed when things turn to custard. The tricky thing is that we tend to get what we expect in life, and what we focus on, we get more of.

If you presume that people will let you down, plans will fail, and you won’t get that job you applied for, you’re probably right. Not because that’s the way of the world, but because, unbeknownst to you, you might be behaving in ways that increase the likelihood of those things happening.

Enthusiasm is a rare trait these days, but it’s an attribute that’s more likely to ensure things work in your favour. Why? Because what you bring to life has a funny way of shaping what life gives back.

Thought for the Day

The internet and social media have brought both positive and negative changes to our lives. One challenge is that it has become easier for people to share words that sound inspiring and be praised for them, even when those words are not always matched by action.

At times, we seem to place more emphasis on how virtuous people appear online than on what they are actually doing in their everyday lives. We are surrounded by messages designed to generate attention and affirmation, while meaningful action and the courage to follow through can be harder to find.

Perhaps it's a reminder for all of us to focus less on what we say and more on how we live. Words can inspire, but actions create impact. After all, as Lou Holtz said, “When all is said and done, more is said than done.”

Thought for the Day

Way back in 2004, I read this brilliant little book by psychiatrist Dr Gordon Livingston called Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now. I still have that book in the drawer of my bedside table.

The first truth in the book is this: "If the map doesn't agree with the ground, the map is wrong." This means that when your plans or expectations about how things work clash with actual reality, it's better to change your views to fit the facts than to try to force reality to match your wishes.

Livingston attributed the phrase to an unnamed platoon sergeant at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, who said it to him when he was a young Army lieutenant, confused as to why a hill on his topographical map was not visible in the landscape he was seeing.

On a deeper level, it points to an uncomfortable truth. We can suffer a lot because we expect people or situations to be different from what they are. Other people's actual behaviour is the "ground", while their promises or your hopes are the "map". The way life really works is the ground, while our belief systems are the map.

Life tends to get easier when we spend less time wishing things were different and more time seeing them as they are.

Thought for the day

You can’t simply affirm yourself into confidence. Or power-pose yourself into it. Somewhere underneath it all, you know whether you actually trust yourself. Confidence grows when you give yourself evidence that you can: keeping a promise, doing something difficult, taking the step you’ve been avoiding. You don’t build confidence by telling yourself you can. You build it by showing yourself you can.

Thought for the day

You can be a smart person and even have good EQ, but what will take you to the next level in life is the ability to follow through. Not on the small, everyday stuff, but on the big dreams and difficult goals.

You may be intelligent enough to know how to do it and understand the need to balance your emotions along the way, but without perseverance, dreams stay just... well... nice thoughts.

It's such a rare ability that, if you have it, it's a real gift. If you don't have it, don't worry, you can develop it bit by bit. Face your fears, grow your courage muscle, and most of all, just start doing hard things.

All around the world, every day, there are pets that have probably saved their owners' mental health. Dogs, cats, birds, goats, hamsters, turtles, and all kinds of other animals, have helped people get through difficult and sad times. Pets of the world I salute you! ❤️

Thought for the day

If you've ever tried to change anything about yourself, you know how hard it can be. That's because our brains don't like change and would prefer that we do the same predictable things every day. Predictability means safety and survival, and that's the primary objective of our brains, not happiness or success. Big changes can feel threatening to our brains. So, if you're trying to shift something, small, consistent steps that build new habits over time work best because they fly under the radar of your brain's alarm systems.

Are you an angry person?

The problem with anger is that there's a good chance you won't be angry with the right person at the right time, and with the appropriate amount of anger for the situation.

A lot of current anger could be misdirected towards the wrong people and might be fueled by past events, unresolved grief, loss and depression.

It's a key signal that you need to perhaps look at yourself with compassion, and see where there are neglected emotions and experiences that need attention. 🩵

Thought for the day

We are 100% responsible for our lives, and that can be both a scary and liberating thought. It’s tempting to want to blame other people for why things might not be going the way we want. How comforting it is to believe that if it wasn’t for our parents, our partners, our bosses, random politicians, or the person who cut us off in traffic this morning, we would all be achieving our goals and living our best lives.

Don’t get me wrong, any one of those people might have had a real impact on the trajectory of our lives… but here’s the kicker: we are still in charge of what we do in response to their actions.

We mustn’t disempower ourselves by believing we don’t have the ability to rise above other people’s actions.

Thought for the day

It's human to look at other people and think they have it all together compared to you. That's because you're comparing how they look on the outside with how you feel on the inside. Be comforted by the fact that most people are making it up as they go along.