Kathyshawcoaching

Such a pleasure to present to a small group of rural women in Taupo on Thursday for my friends Stan and Angela Sickler who are rural agents for Colliers Rural in Taupo. I spoke about change and being able to work with this as we get older. I used some pillars to help these women to prioritise themselves when for most of their lives they haven’t. These were 🧡restore, 🧡protect, 🧡connect.

Apparently, I’m bossy… 😂

There’s nothing quite like a holiday with friends and family to teach you a little more about yourself.

During our recent travels, I somehow became the chief organiser.

🔸 Where are we going?
🔸 What time do we need to leave?
🔸 Have we booked it?
🔸 How are we getting there?
🔸 What’s the plan tomorrow?

I was onto it.

And then came the comment: "You’re bossy.”

Once I got over the slight indignation, it did get me thinking.

When does being organised and taking the lead tip over into needing to be in control?

I talk to clients about control an awful lot, and I think there can be a fine line between leading and taking over.

Leadership says: “I’m happy to take the lead.”

Control says: “I need this to happen my way.”

Maybe the answer isn’t to stop being organised, capable or decisive.

Perhaps it’s simply becoming more aware of when we’re choosing to lead and when we’re automatically taking over 🧡

Sometimes leadership means stepping forward and saying, “I’ve got this.”

And sometimes it means stepping back, tolerating a little uncertainty and trusting someone else to work it out - even if they don’t do it exactly the way we would.

That last bit might be the hardest 😉

👉 Where do you think you sit on that line?

“It’s just easier if I do it myself.”

Sound familiar?

I think it’s an easy pattern to fall into, particularly if you’re capable and used to being the person who gets things done 🩷

You organise.
You anticipate what’s needed.
You solve the problem.
You make the decision.

And because you’re good at it, people naturally start to rely on you.

Before you know it, you’re not only carrying your own responsibilities, but quite a few other people’s as well.

And that can be exhausting 💚

It’s not always the big things that drain our capacity. Sometimes it’s the constant mental load of thinking ahead, remembering, planning, anticipating and making sure everything happens.

I see this so often with busy mums and capable women.

Perhaps the answer isn’t to stop being capable.

Maybe it’s to ask:

👉 What am I carrying that could belong to someone else?

Is there something you could hand over, step back from or simply allow someone else to do their way?

It might just free up a little more capacity for you 🧡

"Choose to be optimistic. It feels better."
- 𝘋𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘪 𝘓𝘢𝘮𝘢

This month, the action for happiness theme is 'Optimistic October', which is all about actions to help you focus on what really matters 🧡

Kick off the month by writing down three things you can look forward to this month.

I'll start 👇

Warmer weather! We've had a few lovely spring days, and I cannot wait for more of them ☀️

Keep an eye on my posts and stories this month for ways you can have an Optimistic October.

𝗪𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 🧡

Before we begin something unfamiliar, our minds are incredibly good at imagining everything that could go wrong.

We convince ourselves we won't know what to do.

That we'll feel uncomfortable.

That we're not ready.

Yet time and time again, life shows us something different.

We learn.
We adjust.
We become more confident.
What once felt overwhelming gradually becomes normal.

Sometimes we simply need to take the first step, trust ourselves, and discover that we were capable all along 💚

👉 What's one small step you could take this week?

If you’re moving into Q4 exhausted, stretched thin, or feeling like you lost yourself somewhere along the way, you’re exactly who my free webinar is for 🧡

Join me for: High-Functioning Burnout: When you’re coping on the outside but exhausted on the inside.

Monday 28 September
12.00 - 1.00 pm NZT
Online on Zoom

We’ll cover:
🔸 The hallmark signs of high-functioning burnout
🔸 Why pushing through makes symptoms worse
🔸 How your nervous system reacts to prolonged stress
🔸 What genuine recovery looks like
🔸 The small sustainable steps that actually help

This session is ideal for:
🔸 Nurses
🔸 Teachers
🔸 Caregivers
🔸 Helpers
🔸 Leaders
🔸 Or anyone who gives more than they receive

To register, head to the events page - free to attend, you just need a complimentary ticket.

Kathy 💛

PS - If you've got friends, family or colleagues who would benefit, please feel free to forward this to them.

Confidence doesn't usually come before we act 💛

I was reminded of this while listening to Alison Mau speak at the Waikato Wahine Symposium last month.

She talked about how confidence is built through small acts of courage.

And I think this is something we often get backwards.

We tell ourselves we'll take the opportunity when we feel more confident 😊

We'll have the difficult conversation when we're ready.

We'll make the change when we know exactly what we're doing.

But my experience, both personally and through my coaching and supervision work, is that confidence often grows because we take action.

Whether you're stepping into a new leadership role, having a difficult conversation, changing careers, or navigating a major life transition, the fear before you begin can be far greater than the reality you experience 🧡

You don't need to feel completely ready.

Sometimes you simply need to take the first step and discover that you're more capable than you thought.

👉 What small act of courage could you take this week?

Burnout is quiet.
It creeps in slowly.
It hides behind competence.

And it often goes unnoticed until you’re running on empty 🫗

If this feels like you, I invite you to 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿 - High-Functioning Burnout: When You're Coping on the Outside but EXHAUSTED on the Inside.

📅 Monday 28 September
⏰ 12.00 pm - 1.00 pm NZT
📍 Online

Supportive. Practical. Judgment-free.

I'll pop the link in the comments to get your free ticket 🧡

Kathy

PS - If you've got friends, family or colleagues who would benefit, please feel free to forward this to them.

When was the last time you were curious about your own life?

Travel has reminded me how naturally curious we become when everything around us is unfamiliar 🧡

We notice more.
We slow down.
We experience things rather than simply moving through them.

👉 But we don't need to travel halfway around the world to do this.

Curiosity encourages us to notice rather than judge, to observe rather than rush, and to appreciate what may have become hidden beneath the busyness of everyday life.

So here's my question for you ⬇️

What could you slow down and notice this week (or even tonight)?