Rest2flow

There’s often an assumption that when we step into a ceremony, or a retreat, or an immersion, we ought to emerge from it whole and entirely resolved, with our aha moments in order and questions answered or our circumstances neatly reordered…. Ha!

What I’ve experienced years ago, upon returning home, my immediate instincts can be to demand an explanation from myself, trying to analyse what the experience meant before I’ve even had time to arrive back in my own life…

However, a conscious threshold IS a pause … not a solution.

It doesn’t fix circumstances, nor does the water take our ordinary complexities away…. Rather, it’s a deliberate and symbolic moment and pause which can offer a kind of structure when life feels uncertain… because it gives attention somewhere to settle… bringing us out of our mind loops and life’s routines…. And then, ordinary life continues.

“Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water
After enlightenment, chop wood carry water” as the zen proverb goes

Returning from ritual:

The path beneath my feet through the autumn trees, the crane standing motionless in the reflective water, the garden in the quiet blue light of early morning listening. To my prayers and the simple warmth of a cup held in my two hands.

These are not decorative actions, but they are physical anchors through which an experience can begin to find its ground and land….

Thus, integration isnt a task to be mastered, nor a final conclusion we must rush to know and form… While a threshold marks what is ready to shift, the return of it IS the slower, second half of the rite of passage, for it unfolds through the unhurriedness… like, contact with nature, a gentle return to daily rhythms, writing down what was noticed before deciding what it means and allowing familiar ground to receive us without needing to explain or know.

What in your life is asking for an unhurried pause today?

Catharsis without integration is deep inner exhaustion that’s wearing a spiritual mask….

Now, I also believe that a cathartic moments aren’t meaningless… Where crying deeply, allowing the grief to move through us, as well as., to feel our anger find a voice or sensing something long-held inside beginning to loosen up - can be profoundly real and important.

However, a cathartic release isn’t the same as integration.

For some years I’ve seen people enter spaces seeking a breakthrough and healing .., and yes … sometimes truly finding one, only to then return by Monday morning where the same actions and patterns of over-functioning, or holding everyone’s else’s needs and not quite finding space to hear our own.

This doesnr mean the experience was false, nor that the release didn’t matter and it may have been an opening. Yet, for something that opens within to become a part of our actual life, rather than another intense moment we remember afterwards it needs landing…

Integration is slower… asking for time, nourishment, warmth, gentleness, space and care. We need a moment in which we are not immediately required to return to managing what’s around us..

Therefore, when Agata and I began creating the Autumn Medicine Retreat we also agreed and knew that deep ceremonial work wasn’t to stand on its own alone.

It is truly held within a fuller rhythm of restoration: a genuine conversation beforehand , during and after to discern readiness;m with two experienced facilitators; restorative yoga, sound, integrative circles, storytelling, nature, sauna and hot-tub time; nourishing food, fireside integration and space simply to be.

Moreover, the holding doesnt end once everybody goes home. There’s aftercare and a group integration gathering one month later are part of the container too.

This retreat isn’t performative nor is it to chase another dramatic moment in order to pknow something’s transforming…

Autumn Medicine Retreat
25–29 November · Polish Mountains

Early bird €850 until 30 September.

If you feel curious, send me a private message 🌿

With care Wen-Wei & Agata wholistic.touch

Autumn Medicine Retreat 🍄
November 25–29 · Polish Mountains

This November, I’m thrilled to co-hosting something close to my heart with Agata Wholistic Touch.wholistic.touch

Agata brings sound baths, shamanic ceremony work with plant medicine and years of experience holding sacred space for groups and individuals.

Together, we bring two different lineages of holding into one container: mine rooted in archetypal story, trauma-informed shamanic and ritual work, hers in sound, ceremony and the ancestral wisdom of plant medicine.

I’ll be sharing the second ceremony: Shamanic Ritual TranceDance with cacao. Behind closed yes, with intention and tribal rhythms you will enter into trance or the alternate reality what some cultures call the Dreamtime. Dancing with the wisdom of your body you will access your inner intelligence and wild knowing to crate transformation and growth in your life.

Over these five days, we’ll move through two sacred ceremonies, deep restorative ritual, and true holding, held by two experienced women who understand both the reverence this work asks for and the safety it requires.

This is not only inner work. It is balanced with morning meditations, restorative yoga, storytelling and sound bath, saunas, hot tubs, fireside integration…: good wholesome food and the quiet company of the mountains themselves.

Because this container asks a lot of trust from each person who joins, every application includes a 1:1 screening conversation with us beforehand, to make sure this is the right space, at the right time, for you. Moreover, there is aftercare and integration.

Early bird is open now: €850 until 30th September.

Full details and application dm me

With love and care Wen-Wei

A Soft Sunday, the morning after 🌙

Last night we gathered for the last window of the New Moon, fifteen women held in goodness and sheepskin, in a space that once again became womb-like, nurturing, sacred.

We touched on what depth psychology names the medial-mystical nature of a woman, that knowing part of us that sees between worlds, that grows with all-encompassing love and kindness, from the edges outward, like the leaves of trees. This instinctual, wildish part cannot be bought or sold. And those who are connected to it are often misunderstood, pushed to live at the edges, and yet our cultures would crumble without it.

We sat with a story, told to me by a keeper of the old stories, of what it means when our forgotten, exiled and tender parts are finally heard, seen, and lovingly brought to peace, and what becomes possible once they are.

Special thanks to this women's circle space for holding us so well, and to De Roos Vondelpark for saying yes, for knowing this was needed here.

And to my dear friend and guest, Fardoe Swaanswijk, voice coach, singer, mother, who closed our circle with a song so fitting it undid something tender in the room. "Don't be afraid of the dark," she sang. "You'll find your way home." (Little Blue, by Jacob Collier feat. Brandi Carlile)

Also to Otti Aralla, for being the foundation for this safety.

Ten years of these circles. Still humbled, grateful, and devoted.

If this calls to you, dear woman, we meet again at October's New Moon (date pending). Send me a message to join the waitlist. 🌹

With love and care,
Wen-Wei

A gentle reminder today: that you belong to yourself first…

Notice what happens the moment you try to rest…

“I should just finish that first.”
“I need to reply right now.”
“I cannot relax until this is sorted.”

Oeff been here

This one went under the radar for me for years … caring has quietly become self-abandonment … and not even noticing that resting begins feeling like something to avoid … a threat instead of relief.

Underneath it flows the urge to fix, or manage and saying yes to everyone else … is often an old and tender adaptation that may hold (out of others)

*If I get it right, I’ll stay safe.
*If I am useful enough, I won’t disappoint anyone.
*If I need less, I won’t be a burden.

Over-functioning was how we stayed connected as well as protected. However your body does not need to pay this steep cost for belonging with exhaustion and loneliness anymore.

The invitation is: before you say yes to one more request today, take a moment- pause - and ask

“ Do I actually have the capacity for this?”

· – · ✦ · – ·

Virgo NewMoon Women’s Circle
Saturday 12 September · 16:00–19:00
De Roos, Amsterdam

A held afternoon of inquiry, cyclical ritual, storytelling, nourishment of the soul and heart . Unfinished is the entry requirement.

link in my events women’s circle 🌹
For those where group work is too soon - DM me for 1:1
With care Wen-Wei

It may be that you find yourself here…
“I need to be more disciplined.”
“I just need to get through this list.”
“I’m responsible.”
“I just have high standards.”
I’m gently inviting you to take a moment’s pause and look underneath these…
I’ve also been one to catch myself in these patterns. I can relate very well.
For there could be a very tender drive underneath…
that if we get it right, we might finally feel safe.
Or the wish to be loved and accepted… without being a burden.
The energy behind this pattern may be fear.
These are just a few of the things that can sit underneath what is driving the perfectionism.
We are born needing connection—what is termed “attachment”: to be loved, protected, seen and safe.
If having needs, making mistakes, feeling distressed, or struggling were not welcomed or attuned to… we adapted. We changed in order to fit in, to stay safe.
Thus, we may have become helpful, prepared, correct, or low-maintenance… because connection matters.
As children, we know this intrinsically: without connection, we cannot survive.
So this is not about blaming ourselves for having these patterns, It is about becoming aware of them… and beginning to ask whether we still need to live by them.
Can we let ourselves rest before everything is finished?
Give ourselves permission to let ourselves need support?

So dear woman, be welcome into upcoming NewMoon’s Circle …There is something powerful about being in a well-held group with other women.A space where we can begin to gently uncover the patterns we have been living by…and recover the parts of ourselves that have been pushed aside in order to cope.
We do not have to do this alone…A place for reflection, storytelling, ritual, soul-sharing, connection…Expereince being carried by one another and to receive nourishment, reflection and the experience of being with together who understand something of this too.

Link in the events

With care Wen-Wei

That knot in your stomach may not be about food at all…

Late August’s got a way of arriving in Amsterdam city… One moment there’s still summer light, a little more breathing space around the edges of life, whereas the next, calendars are filling, work rhythms are accelerating and the whole long list of things that need holding returns before we have properly come back to ourselves…

For many of us, it’s happening unnoticed and quiet in the background... The jaw begins to clench, breath stays high in the chest where sleep changes and thereby energy thins… moreover underneath it all … is the familiar feeling that we should perhaps become more organised, or more disciplined… more capable of carrying it all…

However, perhaps your body’s simply responding intelligently to a pace of life that asks you to take in much much more than you can truthfully hold.

Virgo season is often reduced to routines and That knot in your stomach may not be about food at all…
Late August has a way of arriving in Amsterdam city… One moment there is still summer light, a little more breathing space around the edges of life, whereas the next, calendars are filling, work rhythms are accelerating, and the whole long list of things that need holding returns before we have properly come back to ourselves…
For many of us, it is happening quietly. The jaw begins to clench, the breath stays high in the chest, sleep changes, energy thins, and underneath it all is the familiar feeling that we should perhaps become more organised, more disciplined, more capable of carrying it all…
However, perhaps your body is simply responding intelligently to a pace of life that asks you to take in more than you can truthfully hold.

Virgo season’s often reduced to routines and getting everything in order… Yet its deeper invitation is discernment…

What’s truly mine to tend?
What’s been placed in front of me because I’m the one people rely on?

What am I swallowing simply because nobody’s named it as too much?

Perhaps September doesn’t need a stricter routine from … Perhaps it needs a slower relationship with it all

On Saturday 12th September, we gather at De Roos in Amsterdam for the Virgo NewMoon Women’s Circle, from 16:00 to 19:00.

There will be story, ritual, sharing, rest and the quiet experience of being held within a circle of women, without needing to arrive with everything resolved.

Unfinished is the entry requirement…

To reserve your cushion, send me a message here, or visit the link in the comments below
With care,
Wen-Wei 🌹

Unfinished is the entry requirement....
I lv hatvthis us a space ...
Here we come unfixed, unpolished, unfinished, and here we gather anyway.

On Saturday the 12th of September, we meet at De Roos in Amsterdam, 16:00 to 19:00, for our Virgo NewMoon Women’s Circle.

Held for whatever you actually are right now, rather than the version of you that feels it needs to be resolved and ready in some knda way.

This season is not about a stricter routine or another way to fix yourself, it is about reclaiming consent over your own care, and learning the difference between devotion and depletion in your own body.

Spaces are kept limited to protect the intimacy of the space
• Saturday 12th September
• 16:00 – 19:00
• De Roos, Vondelpark, Amsterdam

Ticket linking comments below or on my events

With care Wen-Wei

Small reminder… No, you don’t need a stricter routine for this autumn. You need your feminine body to be permitted to stop performing so hard.

Late August always seems to arrive with an unspoken command to organise, to prepare, and to swallow the impending pace whole. Tragically, you therefore assume that your physical heaviness is simply poor discipline.

So…

How long have you been the one who is relied upon? The one who anticipates every need before it is said aloud, who carries the emotional weight of the entire house, who does the invisible work that nobody sees and nobody has ever counted.

Because dear woman, when you live like this for years, your body stays on high alert until rest itself begins to feel like laziness (which it’s not). … Like the seal woman that Clarissa Pinkola Estés writes of, who dries out when kept too long from the sea, your body begins to wither when everything you have is given away to everyone else.

Also for many of us in our forties and fifties, this is happening alongside a phase that has never been properly explained to us… experienced as fatigue that arrives out of frigging nowhere, or sleep that no longer brings rest, or the hot flare and flush… the flatness. …Symptoms with no name, so no legitimacy, and therefore no help.

They’re signs that you’ve outgrown a structure that was never built for this phase of your life.

Our body is the first line of defence, for it registers the exhaustion your mind keeps pushing past.

What you are watching in this video is simply a space being made ready….Sheepskin cushions, blankets, candles, low light. My own living room, turned into a place where one woman comes to lie down and be worked with, slowly, in her own time….Nothing pushed, poked or prodded.

Therefore, dear you, the invitation is this.: Stop trying to organise your way out of depletion… no need for another system to fix yourself. Please give yourself permission to sit down, or lie down, and honour your limits.

And if you would like to do that in company rather than alone:
On Saturday the 12th of September we gather at De Roos in Amsterdam, from 16:00 to 19:00, for our Virgo NewMoon Women’s Circle. We will lay down the invisible load and breathe good life back onto tired bones and beautiful bodies. A larger version of this room, dear woman, with other women in it to share with.

You do not need to arrive rested… Unfinished is the entry requirement ;)

Details and tickets are in the event linked below, or write CIRCLE in the comments and I will send it to you directly.

https://www.rest2flow.com/womens-circle-de-roos-amsterdam-rest2flow

With softness and care 🌹 Wen-Wei

Do you ever feel that quiet severing when you sit down at a screen? Oh yeah…That sense that you have to leave some part of your full, feeling self behind in order to become the ‘productive’ self that is expected to perform?

I’ve been feeling it strongly this week, as we stand on the bridge between the radiant, expressive heart of Leo and the devotional, focused energy of Virgo. Well it was an invitation to share with you what I do to merge these two worldsand not choose between them.

So, here’s this small ritual and it’s not about cleansing the space, but about consecrating the self within the space. Thus, before the work begins, I take a moment to honour the lineage that brought me here, the future I am creating, and the spirit that animates me in the present moment…It’s a way of gathering all my parts, so my work can flow from a place of wholeness, not inner fragmentation.

This personal practice is essential and important however the deepest truth is that this work is not meant to be done alone.

Wonder Woman, we practice in private so we can show up in community, to be witnessed and held in our wholeness.

This is the sacred purpose of the circle.

Our September Women’s Circle is now open.. gathering in our new home at De Roos on the 12th of September, from 4pm to 7pm, for an evening of deep reconnection. If this call resonates, the link is in my events section
Or below👇🏽🌹

https://www.rest2flow.com/womens-circle-de-roos-amsterdam-rest2flow