Snuggle with Sam

Fun fact: as a lifelong MA girlie, I used to be a full-on “Masshole” driver 😅

Like… calm, kind, patient human in real life - but put me behind the wheel and it was a very different story.

Someone cuts me off? Instant rage and middle fingers.

Driving 40 on the highway with not a car in front of you? Ohhh, don’t even get me STARTED.

I knew the road rage was doing me a disservice. I tried so many times to fix it. None of it was really a big deal, anyways. My fixes would work for a week… maybe two. And then I’d be right back in it.
But something shifted recently.

Now when someone cuts me off, I still feel that quick flicker of irritation… but it passes almost immediately. Instead, I find myself thinking, “Wow, they must be in a rush. Hope they’re okay.” And then I just… move on. No lingering anger. No carrying it with me for the next five minutes of the drive.
I stopped being surprised. I was genuinely feeling these emotions rather than the bouts of rage.
Of course someone’s going to cut you off. Of course someone’s going to drive like that.
(Especially on 93. It’s weird when that DOESN’T happen! There’s no reason for you to be surprised when s**t happens.)

That lack of surprise meant that the anger and feelings of indignation went down. My normal empathy went up, even behind the wheel.

I logically knew these things before. But somehow, that acceptance changed what feelings came up in me. The logic caught up with my emotions.

Instead of surprise, I felt something different: acceptance.

Because when you’re not constantly shocked by things that are bound to happen, the anger and feelings of being wronged doesn’t affect you as much. You might still feel it at first… but it moves through you faster and gets to acceptance faster.

(Because come on, I’m not a robot. I still get mad. It’s just not as strong as it used to be.)

Many people will talk about controlling your emotions or trying to “stay calm.” That never really worked for me long term. What has helped more is accepting that certain, cruddy things will happen - without being okay with them happening. That’s the key.

And honestly? It’s made me a much calmer driver… and a calmer person in general.

Hope this helps! Tag your favorite Masshole 😄

One of the hardest things to explain about cuddle therapy is… what to actually expect in a session.
Because the truth is - there isn’t always just one way it goes. It depends on where YOU’RE at when you come in.

Over time, I’ve noticed that new clients often come in with an idea of how things should go… and then realize it’s actually very different once they’re in the room.

Here are some of the most common ways people show up:

• “I don’t know what I want, just tell me what to do”
• Going straight into touch without saying anything (and sometimes discovering my body definitely doesn’t bend that way 😅)
• Wanting to be comfortable with touch… but also not really liking it yet
• Feeling like they need to give to me first before they can receive
• Saying “you can do this” instead of asking for what THEY actually want (this happens a LOT)
• Struggling to ask at all because they’re so used to being told no
• Only knowing one way of giving/receiving touch
• Or focusing more on how I respond rather than the cuddling itself

And none of these are “wrong.”
They’re just starting points.

This is why it’s so hard to give a clear answer to “what will my session be like?”
Because it really depends on you.
Your comfort level.
Your experiences.
What you’re ready for.

My role isn’t to make you get it “right.”

It’s to meet you where you are… and help you explore what actually feels good, safe, and supportive for you.

Sometimes that looks very different from what you expected.

And honestly? That’s usually where the growth you need happens 🤍

Sometimes my humor is like this with clients 😬 It's an acquired humor.

He hates driving. With a passion. Just bought a car for the first time in his life and now understands Boston Road Rage ™️. And as a Bostonian, I had to remind him of this very important piece while in traffic running late to his session today.

We'll have a good session when he gets here, no matter how many times he flips people off while getting here.

Over the years, I’ve invested a lot into learning.

Courses.
Conferences.
Coaching.
Books.
Programs.

Even before I started cuddle therapy back in 2015, personal growth was something I took seriously.
And in the last few years especially, I’ve gone even deeper - learning more so I can show up better for my clients.

But here’s something I still find kind of funny…
People will hear all of that and still ask:
“But what makes you legit?”

And honestly? I get it.

This work doesn’t fit into a neat little box people understand.

So I’ve had my fair share of reactions:
nervous laughs
awkward silences
oddly specific requests that completely miss the point
people asking what my “real” job is

And at one point, that would have bothered me a lot more.

But now?

It doesn’t land the same. Because the thing that gives me the most confidence in what I do…
Isn’t a certification. (though I do have my Cuddlist certification)

But what makes me good at this… is you.
It’s seeing what shifts for you.
It’s the trust you bring into the space.
It’s knowing this work is actually making a difference in your life.

That’s something no course can necessarily give me.
I’ll always keep learning.
I’ll always keep growing.

But I keep showing up to make an impact.

So if you’ve ever wondered if this work is “legit”…
Just know - it’s built on real human connection, trust, and care.
And that matters more than anything 🤍

In 2023, Noah and I went to an event in Austin, and one idea has been sitting with me ever since…
Not “you need a morning routine.”

But:
What if your morning routine actually brought you joy?
Not something you should do.
Not something you force yourself into.
Something that genuinely feels like a yes.

That question took me back to the most random memory…

At my Catholic high school, there was an overnight retreat seniors went to. Each morning, Sister Pat would walk down the hallway of the women’s dorms, calling out cheerfully:
“Say yes to the morning!”

And she was such a high charisma, sweet elderly nun that we all ended up half-asleep, walking out of our rooms chanting “yes!” with smiles down the hallway 😄
(RIP Sister Pat. You were the best.)

So I’ve been trying something different.

Instead of a rigid routine, I start my day with:
“Yes to the morning!”

And then I look for what I can actually say yes to.

Snuggling my dog Kissa before getting up for “uppy puppy time”→ yes
Filling my waterbottle with water and a little lemon juice→ yes
Going for a walk → yes
Putting together a quick, protein-rich breakfast→ yes

Not because I have to…
(although arguably I DO have to if I want my life to function well)

But because I’m saying YES to doing them.
And some days? Certain things are a no.
That’s okay too.

Because here’s the thing I’ve learned (both in life and in my work):
We talk a lot about “no” - boundaries, limits, what doesn’t feel right.
And that matters!

But starting your day by focusing on your yeses hits different.
It feels lighter. More intentional. And more joyful!

And at the end of the day, we always get to say yes to ourselves.
Even in small ways 🤍

Not too long ago, we got a new fan for our house.

Not a fan fan… an actual fan to put in our living room😄

And my little furbaby Kissa?
She was TERRIFIED of it. For WEEKS.

Which made no sense… because she literally sleeps next to a tower fan every night. All summer. LOVES it even!

But this one? Looks different and scary.

So, nope. Absolutely not.

Even when it was turned off, she acts like it might come to life and personally attack her.
She refused to walk past it… which makes getting out the front door for walks a whole situation.

So I’m not forcing her.
I’m just letting her take it at her own pace.
Encouraging her. Praising her when she takes a few brave steps closer. And watching her slowly get curious.

And when I snapped this picture of her contemplating her next moves with the fan, I had this thought…

A lot of people treat cuddle therapy the exact same way.
They know the concept of cuddling.

But cuddle THERAPY?
I dunno, man.

So they read about it. They research different sites to find someone. They might even find someone they think they want to see.

But then the “what ifs” kick in.
What if it’s awkward?
What if I feel uncomfortable?
What if something goes wrong?

And suddenly, something that could feel really safe… feels scary.
And they take months to finally take the first step

Honestly though?
A cuddle session is about as dangerous as that fan is to Kissa.
That said, I do understand the fear. Especially if you’ve had experiences in the past where touch didn’t feel safe.

That’s exactly why I’ve made everything really clear upfront - FAQs, intro videos, all of it - so you can know exactly what to expect.

From there, it’s your choice.
You don’t have to rush.
You don’t have to force anything.
You just get to decide when (or if) you’re ready to take a step closer 🤍

Kissa eventually did. Now she falls asleep with the fan running.

I’ve been doing cuddle therapy since 2015…
…and yes, I cuddle on a bed.

Before you jump to conclusions - let me explain.

When I first started, I was working out of my apartment with two roommates. My options were:
a bed
or… nothing
So the bed won.

Fast forward to now, I’ve got my own office space (since 2021 🎉), and a queen mattress came with me - just with a slightly more “professional” daybed frame upgrade.

(Although… the Pikachu blanket phase didn’t exactly scream professional and got me politely asked to keep my door closed 😅)

But here’s something interesting:
Not all cuddle therapists use a bed.

Some use:
couches
floor cushions
Thai mats
futons
big squishy beanbag-style setups

And honestly? All of them work.

But I’ve had people question the bed thing because of the assumptions that come with it.

So here’s the truth:
A bed isn’t about anything inappropriate.
It’s about comfort, support, and familiarity.
Most people have spent a huge part of their lives in a bed. Their body already knows how to relax there.

And for some of my clients, it’s not just preference - it’s necessary:
chronic pain
anxiety
trauma responses
needing space to fully relax

A couch or the floor just doesn’t work for everyone.
At the end of the day, the setup doesn’t matter.

What matters is this:
Do you feel safe?
Do you feel comfortable?
Can you actually relax into the experience?

That’s the whole point 🤍

Listen. It's been quite a while and I'll be honest: I don't like social media that much. I spend little time on it anymore, and I've been dealing with several big family emergencies in the past two and a half years especially.

(Alongside also getting married. No big deal, right?)

I mostly write on my email lists (get on it with link in bio) and give my full presence via in person connection.
..but I get it. If you don't come in for a session or work with me otherwise, there's limited chances to connect if I'm not active on my socials. Most of my free time has been focused on the family emergencies, and I still sometimes feel like I'm drinking from a firehose. I have friends I haven't seen in months that live down the street from me even.

I'm literally my own best client. Every so often, I need time to collapse and be held for a change.

Relateable?

Just because I'm dealing with a lot doesn't mean I can't show up for others though. In fact, it's that ability to hold things, let go of things, and return to things again that makes me the skilled cuddle therapist I am.

I'm going to Austin this weekend for

I'll be sharing some stories with the audience. Small short stories. I didn't have it in me to write a good proposal for a longer talk right now.

But I want to start posting. Documenting. If not for others, for me so I can see the insights and fun I've had. There's a lot of great things I experienced at it last year. I can't wait for it again this year.

I'm coming for you, Austin!

Obligatory "I got married" post... literally over a month too late.

Sorry not sorry for being quiet for way too long. I and my husband (God it feels great to say that!) navigated a lot over the past couple years together, and at times most of my focus was on making sure his health was good, my health was good, and that we could present ourselves as husband and wife to a group of people that love us so damn much.

There's a lot I want to share about my wedding, but the cliff notes is: I adapted it to how I wanted to, and my friends declared my FIL a National Treasure. (He absolutely is by the way

We planned a wedding on hard mode because guess what? Neither of us ever thought we'd be the people to ever get married! With me literally touching most people that consent to it (because it's been my job for nearly 10 years), my husband dealing with his own myriad of mental health struggles (but somehow still managing to be my emotional rock despite that), both of us thought we were destined for a life alone. All my bridesmaids were married before me-- I AM the 27 Dresses Girl in my friend group.

But we still did it because one thing I try to drive into every person I meet, even in a small way, is to figure it out-- because we always do. It was stressful, there were tears, I wanted to scream my head off and give into the Bridezilla energy that called me into the abyss (somehow, my business prevented me from doing so... That's a whole different story for another time). But we did it, we took off into the Sunset that is Arizona and Sedona, and I felt every fiber of my being pulse with happiness because I was SO happy to be with my person that I can't wait to create a life worth living together with!

This is all to say: I'm still me. I'm still seeing clients. I'm back and my husband is as supportive as he was from day one (which is: he finds opportunities to tell everyone he meets because he loves me). And I love the s**t out of him for supporting me as I support others.