Little Souls Learning Center

I am considering offering/providing my years of child caring experience to parents in need of evening and nighttime care for their child/children soon on a part time and possibly a full time basis. What is the need in East Tyler for a loving, caring and hands on place for your kiddos for evening care Tyler parents? Little Souls Learning Center starting up evening care soon. Getting all the i's dotted at this time.

Kindness matters. Letting them know they are loved and cared for. 😍

Help A Teacher

Stress, the Brain and Self Regulation
“The key to changing a child’s trajectory is to identify and reduce their stress load, rather than trying to teach them better self-control. The latter emerges naturally as a result of improved self regulation.”
Dr Stuart Shanker

Behaviour is a read-out originating in our brain-nervous-system that indicates our stress load, and how well we are able to manage that load. When we are calm - or have learned to calm ourselves (self regulate) - we can access our higher brain with all the benefits that brings us. Yet nearly all of us have had the experience of being so stressed that we have ‘lost it’. Sometimes spectacularly. While we’re not excusing ourselves for losing it, it is worth asking ourselves, was that outburst misbehaviour or stress behaviour?

If you are a parent or teacher I recommend Dr Stuart Shanker's book "Self Reg". You will learn skills which will make ALL the difference for the children who act out because of their stress loads, and for your relationship with them. It will.

Children are not always able to articulate what they are feeling.
Feeling disconnected, afraid, or inadequate are powerful feelings for even confident adults to deal with.

Children's unmet needs & feelings (insecurities, doubts, stress, disappointment, frustration, fear, confusion, etc.) manifest in their behavior.

If we take the time to be present in those moments or look for the signs along the way we can help our children
by listening, empathizing, and showing them
that how they feel matters,
THEY matter,
they are worthy,
appreciated,
respected,
loved,
delighted in
UNCONDITIONALLY.

Everyone "falls apart" at times. It's a scary place to be alone in. So we look for someone to lean on. The freedom to sincerely express our hearts brings healing & peace again.

If we want our children to share their inner-most feelings with us then our connection with them needs to be built on trust without any fear of shame, rejection, or punishment.

Wholeness is a personal journey made easier when accepted & loved unconditionally by our parents.

~Lelia Schott. (2014)

www.Lelia Schott.com

"Be there for me in my early years so I can be there for myself in my adult years.'
Grobrain

There are 40 weeks of gestation inside the womb* and 40 weeks of exterogestation on the outside with the Mother. This second 40 week period is also known as ‘The In-Arms Period’, or the ‘4th Trimester’ in order to emphasise the baby is still in formation with her mother. This is a CONTINUED period of the miraculous Co-Creation Partnership, and the better the baby's needs for comfort and nurture are met, the better the prognosis for the baby's physical and mental health from the rest of his or her life.
* Some babies come a bit earlier, some a bit later

ON CHILDREN AND HITTING (or other undesirable behaviors)

A mom asked advice on how to handle her child's hitting in a Facebook group and I thought I'd share my answer to her with all of you here as well.

"In my experience hitting is a symptom of something unresolved in the child, some unmet need or something that's off it their lives. So it can take some detective work to figure out and then address its cause. The resolution of issues like hitting rarely comes from figuring out how to handle it when it happens but from addressing its underlying cause.

Here are 2 articles that might give you some direction:
• Two Keys To Resolving Behavior Issues ► http://tinyurl.com/hertshn
• The Root Source of Kids’ Unpleasant Behavior ► http://www.mothering.com/articles/root-source-kids-unpleasant-behavior/

When I work with parents, they often see those types of behaviors disappear without addressing them directly, because we work on providing the type of environment and relationships in which children can feel their best and therefore act their best.

The following, from my article Clean Parenting: An Instinctual and Evolutionary Approach to Parenting (tinyurl.com/zbsasqc,) can give you an idea of what it is that creates the kind of ease and harmony that's possible through Continuum or Clean Parenting and which which behaviors like hitting disappear:

"These core principles, from which ideally all parenting attitudes, actions and responses will arise out of, are:
• Children are innately good and cooperative, and our job as parents is learn to tap into that.
• Children are already whole and capable and need to be honored and trusted.
• Clean Parenting happens when we live with our children as though we’re on the same team.
• It’s of critical importance that we identify our children’s unmet needs and find ways to meet them.
• Children need a clear, grounded, benevolent leader to thrive.
• Empathy is the magical solution whenever children are experiencing negative emotions, to help them feel validated and to process those feelings.
• It’s also of critical importance that you honor your own feelings and needs as a parent, and strive to meet those as well.
• Conflicts are handled with a focus on finding win-win solutions, so that everyone’s needs in the family can be met.
• True well-being can only happen in families once we have realistic expectations: of children, of ourselves, of our life, including of the limits of our situation."

Here's also an audio on the two key qualities children need to have in order to behave their best: Creating a Sense of Safety in Children and Helping Them Build a Healthy Sense of Self ► https://tinyurl.com/y3xpdn2v.

If all this resonates and you'd like my help in resolving the root cause of your daughter's hitting, let me know and we can set up a time to chat."