Shank Law

The most romantic thing I've seen in my practice lately? A couple negotiating a prenuptial agreement.

And what’s stood out to me most has nothing to do with conflict.

Both parties have their own attorneys (as they should), and there are some more complex and unconventional issues involved, including considerations and questions that require a lot of thoughtful discussion.

But what’s been genuinely refreshing is watching this couple approach the process with so much intentionality and care for each other.

There’s a common fear that talking about a prenup somehow “ruins the romance” or signals a lack of trust. In reality, the healthiest prenup conversations I see are often the exact opposite.

The strongest couples aren’t avoiding difficult conversations. They’re having them deliberately. They’re asking:

How do we protect each other?
How do we plan responsibly?
What happens if life doesn’t go according to plan?
How do we make sure we’re both entering this marriage with clarity and understanding?

That’s not cynicism. That’s maturity.

A well-done prenup isn’t about planning for failure. It’s about communication, transparency, and making informed decisions together.

Honestly, this is how I wish more people approached the process.

Big personal news over here: my family is moving! 🏡

Before anyone asks—Shank Law isn’t going anywhere. My office and practice remain the same. But going through a move personally has me thinking about something that comes up often in family law:

When you share custody, a move can be a much bigger legal issue than people realize. Even moves that seem manageable can affect:

📦 School routines
📦 Transportation and exchanges
📦 Extracurricular schedules
📦 Commute times
📦 And overall stability for the child

In many custody cases, there’s already a provision requiring one parent to notify the other before relocating. Sometimes that’s part of a negotiated agreement, and sometimes it’s ordered by the court.

And while courts generally cannot stop someone from moving, a relocation can become the basis for revisiting custody arrangements if the move significantly impacts the child or parenting schedule.

A lot of parents think of moving as a personal decision only, but when co-parenting is involved, it’s often also a legal and logistical one.

As someone currently surrounded by boxes myself, I can confirm: moving is stressful enough without surprises or conflict added into the mix. Communication early and often really does matter.

Looking forward to the Baltimore Carroll Chapter of the Women's Bar Association (BCCWBA) Annual Meeting on June 17th. Only 2 weeks away so better get those RSVPs in!

A recent 5th Circuit federal court decision is a good reminder of something many people don’t realize: You can lose attorney-client privilege without ever intending to.

In that case, a party was taking legal advice from their attorney and uploading it into ChatGPT to get a “second opinion.” The court found that this kind of disclosure (sharing confidential legal communications with an open, public-facing platform) can result in waiver of privilege.

That means the information may no longer be protected. This isn’t just about AI. It’s about where and how you share legal advice.

I’ve seen some attorneys start updating engagement agreements to address this risk. My own agreements have included this concept for years, largely because social media created the same issue long before AI did.

Here’s the simple rule I give clients: If you want a second opinion, that’s completely appropriate... Talk to another attorney.

But don’t: Text it to friends, post it on social media, or upload it into AI tools or public platforms.

Once confidential legal advice is shared outside the attorney-client relationship, you may lose the protections that come with it.

This is one of those areas where technology is moving faster than most people realize—and the consequences are very real.

When in doubt, ask your lawyer before you share.

Can you change a custody schedule for summer only?

The short answer is: yes.

In many cases, a different physical custody schedule does make sense for summer versus the school year. Kids have different routines, childcare needs change, and parenting time often needs to be more flexible when school isn’t in session.

Legally, you can file to modify custody for just the summer schedule, but only if there is a material change in circumstances that justifies it.

That said, I often caution clients to think carefully before filing something that is temporary or narrowly focused.

Custody litigation is expensive. Even a limited modification can cost significant time, money, and emotional energy. If the only issue is adjusting summer logistics, it may be worth exploring whether the parents can agree outside of court rather than initiating full litigation.

That becomes even more important when timing is tight.

I've had cases where parents are seeking a modification tied to school enrollment decisions. The challenge is that these issues are time-sensitive, and what happens over the summer directly impacts where a child will attend school in the fall.

In situations like that, parties may ask the court for an expedited hearing, but not all jurisdictions will grant one, even when education is involved.

The key takeaway: if you’re thinking about modifying custody for summer, or anything tied to school decisions, don’t wait. These cases move slowly, and delays can limit your options.

Talk to an attorney early so you can understand your best path forward before timing becomes the problem.

I had the opportunity to speak about the collaboration between Best Interest Attorneys and mental health professionals at Collective Conversations: Setting Hope In Motion in Baltimore, and here are my takeaways...

This conference brought together legal professionals, mental health providers, educators, healthcare professionals, and advocates, all focused on one shared goal: better supporting children through some of the most difficult situations they may face.

I spoke about how intentional communication between disciplines can make a meaningful difference for children navigating high-conflict family dynamics.

What stood out most to me over these two days was the reminder that none of this work happens in isolation. The best outcomes for children happen when professionals are willing to listen to each other, challenge assumptions, and stay focused on the child’s experience, not just the system around them.

I'm grateful to the organizers at Change the Conversation and Springboard Community Services for putting together such a thoughtful and impactful event, and grateful to be included in the conversation!

Mother’s Day is coming up, and if you’re co-parenting, this is your reminder that it’s not just about you.

Even if it’s not “your day,” you still play a role in how your child experiences it.

One of the most meaningful things you can do? Help your child celebrate the other parent.

Take them to pick out a card. Let them choose a small gift. Encourage them to make something or write a note.

It may feel small, but it matters more than you think. It shows your child that it’s okay to love both parents.

It supports their relationship with the other parent. And yes, it’s also the kind of behavior that reflects well in the eyes of a court.

But more importantly, it reflects something bigger: Putting your child’s emotional well-being ahead of your own feelings.

Co-parenting isn’t always easy. But moments like this are opportunities to do it really, really well.

There’s a phrase I hear often in family law cases: the “default parent.”

It’s the parent who remembers the dentist appointment, signs the field trip form, schedules the haircut, packs the lunch, manages the school emails, coordinates the playdates, and knows which stuffed animal absolutely must go to bed every night.

Most of the time, this role develops quietly over the years. It becomes the family’s normal rhythm, so much so that people stop noticing it.

Until a custody case begins.

Then suddenly, all of that invisible labor (the scheduling, the mental load, the day-to-day management of a child’s life) becomes highly relevant. Courts often look closely at who has historically handled the routine needs of the child, because it helps paint a picture of how the family has actually functioned.

In other words, the emotional and logistical work of being the default parent may feel invisible day to day, but it often becomes very visible when legal decisions are being made about a child’s future.

That doesn’t mean one parent is “better” than the other. But it does mean that the small, consistent acts of caregiving matter more than people sometimes realize.

And for many parents, that moment, when the invisible suddenly becomes visible, can be both validating and complicated at the same time.

As May 11-12 gets closer, I’m really looking forward to Collective Conversations: Setting Hope In Motion next month in Baltimore.

I’ll be presenting on the collaboration between Best Interest Attorneys and mental health professionals, and how that partnership can better support children navigating incredibly difficult situations.

Conferences like this matter because the work of protecting and supporting children doesn’t happen in silos. It takes thoughtful collaboration between legal professionals, therapists, educators, healthcare providers, and advocates.

This event, hosted by Change the Conversation and Springboard Community Services, brings those perspectives together in one place to share ideas, practical strategies, and real experiences from people doing this work every day.

If you work with children or families in any capacity, it’s going to be an important and meaningful two days.

📍 May 11–12 | Center Club, Baltimore
🔗 Registration: https://changetheconversation.harnessgiving.org/events/3528

If you’re planning to attend, I’d love to see you there.