MyBarMitzvahLessons.com

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Many years ago, I decided to devote my life to teaching students with special needs.Three years ago, when I left Toronto to live in the United States with my newly wed wife, despite all of my best efforts through ads in local newspapers and from my website mybarmitzvahlessons.com no one wanted to learn on-line because everyone preferred an in person teacher to one over the internet.

My dream to teach students with special needs from all over the world was shelved for an era when the paradigm shift would occur when learning by computer would be accepted or even preferred to in person learning..

Perhaps, just maybe, that day has come.

Last month, as fate would have it, on April 1, 2020 (coinciding with my Hebrew birth date of the 7th of Nissan), I was furloughed from my day job.

With a 4 month old new born daughter and a 4 year old son, I now need a way to support my family.

What am I going to do?

I feel in my heart of hearts that the time has come for on-line teaching for special needs students.

The schools, universities and daycare programs all teach remotely. It can be done. It is being done.

I am turning to the world, to my former students and their parents, to my friends and to my Facebook family, if you know of someone who wants to learn Hebrew, to read from the Torah or how to lead prayer services, please send them my way for a complimentary 30 minute introductory lesson and Hebrew reading/Bar Mitzvah lessons.

I leave it to their parents to then make an informed decision if this is the way for their child to connect to their heritage and to their own inner strength. I am here to help guide them in this life long goal.

For adults who never had a Bar Mitzvah, I turn to you and extend my helping hand to make your dream a reality. It is never too late. The story of my brother Aaron Cohen, of fond memory, proves that.

Thank you in advance for all of your help.

Wishing all of you much happiness, health and hope.

Love,
Marcel

My brother, Aaron Paul Cohen, z'l, painted this for the cover of an album for a Jewish Musical Group called "Shemesh V'Kochavim" (translation : Sun and Stars)

https://www.thejewishnews.com/2016/07/22/tutors-motto-every-child-can-bar-bat-mitzvah/

Tutor’s Motto Is ‘Every Child Can Have A Bar Or Bat Mitzvah’ - Detroit Jewish News One of the most iconic celebrations in Judaism is the bar or bat mitzvah, where a youngster takes on the responsibilities of adulthood and proclaims before an audience of family and friends that he or she is ready to become a functioning member of the greater community within the Jewish faith. As a…

Life is Not Fair
Some students whom I teach are gifted in music, have perfect pitch, can read Hebrew fluently, are smart, catch on quickly, understand the underlying "trope" (musical cantillation) of the Torah and Haftorah and quickly master their portion.

Other students struggle and every musical note eludes them - even the same Hebrew vowels we just reviewed escapes their brain the next time we stumble on it - thereby they are gaining absolutely no traction whatsoever on any of the "trope" or any of the Hebrew letters/vowels we read on previous lines. It seems like they will NEVER grasp their portion - no matter how small it might be.

For this latter group of students, life, in general, and their Bar/Bat Mitzvah lessons, in particular, is really tough.

That is not fair. It isn't.

Sorry. I can't tell a lie. It makes me sad and always has.

So what should I do with such students?

Well, I feel it is our responsibility to set all students up for success. (This is no easy task for a child to whom every word and musical note is a struggle.)

How can this "success" be accomplished?

I think the number one ingredient is NOT TO GIVE UP ON THEM EVER!

If you do, they will for sure!

Case in point: I periodically receive phone calls or e-mails from parents who are in a panic because they already went to another Bar or Bat Mitzvah tutor and after a number of months, the teacher gave up on their child. They find my number from word of mouth or from my website since I specialize in special needs and learning disabilities for Bar/Bat Mitzvah. I am the last resort for their child.

Perhaps the reason the other tutor gave up on them was a combination of frustration, impatience and anger at the student who did not grasp the same rote teaching that worked for many of their other students beforehand.

In every case I received, I had to analyze the source of the student's impasse and most importantly, I had to build them up emotionally in order to empower them to succeed.

Does it work? Um.... yes... and HOW!

It says in Pirkei Avot (Ethics of our Fathers), "A shy person does not learn and a strict person cannot teach."

Here is how I interpret that verse: a shy person is embarrassed to ask for help when they are struggling to understand - so they never get past the point where they stopped understanding the teacher. A strict teacher, makes a regular student and especially an already shy student into a very shy person who is afraid to ask for help when they are lost.

Therefore, the way to teach a struggling Bar or Bat Mitzvah student is to empower them to understand their own struggles so they can think of ways to overcome them - together with you.

By doing this they learn an invaluable skill - that they do not have to grind to a halt and feel hopeless when they do not understand something. They can ask for help.

Another thing they can do is to think of why can't they sing that note - is it higher or lower than what they just produced? How does that feel in their throat when they sing it correctly? Can they reproduce that same sound? If they try again and again with constant encouragement every single step of the way, miracles start to be revealed to them.

The miracle is: them.

They are the miracle. They are making their own dreams come true. They are not "stupid". They can figure things out. Just like the "other smart students" who always seem to "get it". Now they are the smart student that "gets it". Finally!!!

That is the miracle. That is where life becomes a little fairer.

In the end, for the struggling student, this will be the greatest gift they will get for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah. They gift of feeling they can overcome difficulties and achieve greatness - but ONLY when they are patiently shown the way.

All the best to all of you who read my posts.

I hope it helps you or people you know and care about.

With love,
Marcel

The Genius Principle
My late brother, Aaron Paul Cohen, z'l, of blessed memory, was very special to me and my foremost teacher on how to teach a student with exceptionalities.

Aaron was born with Down Syndrome.

Don't judge a book by its cover, though.

He had a spark of genius inside of him.

His sense of humour was unbelievable. For example, I use to have a beard and I always wear a kippah (traditional head covering for observant Jews). As a result, Aaron said to me, "You are fuzzy and Jewish - Me call you Jewbakka!"

Aaron became quite overweight as he aged and quite depressed as a consequence. To cheer him up I prayed to Hashem (the Name, literally, which refers to G-d) that Aaron should find something to make him happy.

Aaron use to have colouring books. Truthfully, between you and me, he wasn't so good at colouring within the lines or in applying the colour evenly but to encourage him and lift his spirits, I would say to him, "Aaron, that is fantastic! You did that? It is so professional. Aaron, you are a genius!"

He started taking it to heart. My mother enrolled him in Art classes. He use to paint for 15 hours a day! He became so terrific in the ways he mixed colours and understood their combinations that his Art teachers asked him to explain his colouring technique - to which Aaron replied,"My secret!"

He was such a character!

Art gave him so much joy and dignity. He had such a feeling of accomplishment and a unique way to view the world in terms of subtle hues. Once when I was driving with Aaron on an overcast day, he said to me, " Marcel, the sky is ochre with eggshell white."

"Aaron, you are a genius!" I replied.

He became the genius I called him in his nascent art development. He left an amazing body of work of almost 50 unique, hauntingly beautiful and deep paintings by the time he passed away less than two months shy of his 40th birthday.

I now use the same teaching method with all of my students.

If they sing one note correct or sing a sequence with the appropriate cantillation marks I then lavish them with compliments and literally sing their praises in the tune they just sang for me using the same cantillation marks by singing, "You are a genius!"

Do you know what that does for these struggling students?

It slowly but surely transforms their world around from defeated, insecure children, to hopeful, confident young adults.

I have used what I termed " The Genius Principle" on countless struggling students and it has helped boost performance and, more importantly, their inner self-worth tremendously. It makes them want to dedicate themselves to the task at hand.

It is in the merit of my late brother, Aaron Ben Gittel, Aaron the son of Gittel, that all of my students undergo such a positive, life-changing transformation from the application of the "Genius Principle".

May Aaron's holy soul have an Aliyah and may the souls of struggling students everywhere be lifted to maximize their potential in this world everyday going forward. Amen.

Remember the Forgotten Jews
There are Jews all over the world who are living in far-flung places without the benefit of a nearby Jewish community. Are they not worthy of our spiritual heritage? Why are they not able to access the beauty of our ancient heritage? I say, with the advent of the internet, we are obligated to reach out to them to learn Torah, to engage in dialogue and to lift each other up spiritually to new heights.

We can do it! They can have a whole new world open to them immediately.

That is one category of forgotten Jew.

The other category is the Jew who lives in a thriving Jewish community but has no access point into it.

Who fits into this category?

- The special needs child who cannot follow along in the siddur.

- The gifted child who is not challenged by the regular after school programs at the local synagogue.

- The alienated Jews who do not feel comfortable in the synagogue setting but are longing for a Jewish education and authentic Jewish experiences.

We must remember the forgotten Jew with whom we are connected in every way, geography or psychology notwithstanding.

As we remember this time of year during the Festival of Freedom when we escaped to freedom from the bo***ge of slavery, let us remember the forgotten Jews who must be freed from the bo***ge of isolation.

MyBarMitzvahLessons.com is dedicated to reaching out to the forgotten Jews everywhere.

May this be the year that they are freed from a life of segregation and loneliness to one of inclusion and love.

Sincerely yours,
Marcel Cohen

Speech for Shabbat Itanu

Shabbat Shalom!

Thank you Rabbi Morrison, Rabbi Lipson, Cantor Edwards and the choral group for making today's prayer service so meaningful and beautiful. Thank you to Michael Sugarman, the Chair of Kadima, for his continued support and friendship.

Thank you also to all of the people who are here today who have done so much to make Kadima a cherished program at Beth Emeth.

In addition, thank you to Miriam Herlin, our art teacher, who helped teach our Kadima participants to make the beautiful Havdallah sets which are on display in the display cabinets in the main foyer outside the sanctuary. Please take a look after the services what beautiful art work our Kadima participants made.

Furthermore, a special thank you to all of the Reena caregivers for bringing their clients to Kadima on a weekly basis and to the Reena administration for partnering together with Beth Emeth Synagogue to continue providing high quality spiritual and social programming for the Kadima participants.

A Brief History

"It began with the determination of 150 people, who banded together with a common dream and $500 in the bank. The journey from a small house in the neighbourhood, to upstairs quarters in the shopping plaza, to a tent at the future site of the building, ended in April, 1959 when construction began on the first stage of Beth Emeth Synagogue.

Ready for occupancy that September, it consisted of a hall, classrooms and offices. Approximately 300 Hebrew school students, who had been meeting in portables outside the public school across the street, came through our doors. Rabbi Joseph Kelman, our new spiritual leader, conducted the first High Holy Days services."

This was taken from the synagogue's website.

Beth Emeth started as a dream - a remote fledgling idea but it became a reality because of determined dreamers.
Two years later, Rabbi Kelman started Ezra Kadima in 1961 to give people with exceptionalities a Jewish education and a social outlet.

Kadima has been an early part of Beth Emeth's dream-come-true to become an inclusive congregation.

To illustrate Kadima’s significance to its participants and to the shul at large, I will end by telling a true story that happened a number of years ago, at a government supported, scientific research institute in the United States, where a group of senators were being given a tour by the chief scientist of the facility.

After explaining the research taking place at the facility, one of the senators from one of the southern States asked the scientist the following question. "Son, does your research help in the national defense of our great country?"

The scientist thoughtfully contemplated the question and responded with the now famous reply (in the world of not-for-profit management): he replied, "no this research doesn't contribute to national defense but it does make this country a nation worth defending."

If in 1959, Beth Emeth opened its doors and only started Kadima, as we are going to say at the Pesach Seder in three weeks – “Dayeinu”. Kadima would have been reason enough to start the synagogue.

When Rabbi Morrison asked me to speak on Thursday, I grappled with the words to describe the happiness that is experienced and the life skills that are learned at Kadima but I was at a complete loss for the right words because it is simply beyond any words or any price what happens weekly at Kadima.

As the Reena caregivers and the volunteers who come weekly could attest, you have to see it to believe the magic that takes place on Sunday afternoon. In fact, I invite each and every one of you to come to any program Sunday afternoon to experience it yourself.

Simply put, Kadima makes its participants' lives. For many of the participants, their parents have passed on and Kadima is their surrogate family. Every week, they talk about what they learned all week and look forward to Kadima asking when they will return every day in the summer when we break.
We are grateful to Reena for partnering with us to continue providing this program for its clients.

Also, a big “Yishar Koachachem” to the entire Beth Emeth membership for your continued support of Kadima.
In closing, Beth Emeth shared the gift of dreaming with Kadima's growing family.

G-d bless all of you for dreaming the dream and keeping this program alive for Kadima's participants who look upon this program as truly a "dream come true."

Shabbat Shalom