Zascha Rosen - Author

Was trying to find other matches to this set that were still in German, and was bummed to learn that even if I do find the rest of this exact set (if your Nan still has hers and doesn't want them lemme know 💚) that I can't actually use them for storing anything edible that isn't wrapped. Which is a bummer because I wanted to find the salt cellar and actually attach it to the wall to use it (I love functional pieces, can't help it).

Them: How's the writing going?
Me:

Missing my boy a lot this week. His breeders each had a healthy litter (so excited for them!) and it just has me looking at all of Sariel's puppy photos. You know he passed away in January, and at night when I get up in the dark, I'm still stepping around his spot in the hall so I don't wake him up? For thirteen years he was my partner, even at times when I didn't deserve him and he deserved better than me. But I miss holding my hand beside me and it being filled with puppy snoot. I miss hiding his treats in really complicated puzzles and chess boards for him to play find it. I miss him being my helper when he'd have his work vest on and how seriously he took his job as my PTSD dog and hearing alert dog. I think sometimes I was still so sad that he wasn't my first dog Majik that I didn't fully appreciate Sariel for all that he was. But I miss my boy so much.

Considering putting a suggested playlist in the back matter of the book. Anytime like that idea at all?

Can I be real with you all for a sec, at the risk of sounding crazy or emotionally fragile?

Yesterday I wrote a chapter that legit triggered a panic response in my body. Even though I consciously knew I was safe, that there was no threat, that there wasn't any person in my life trying to hurt or use me like this anymore, writing it from Lila's pov fully put me in the thick of it with her. She felt the trance-like pull off her environment, and I mellowed. She felt the first tiny alarm bell going off, and I became vigilant. She was drunk and about to barf, I felt nauseous. She realized that Giovanni wasn't eating any of the sweet food, remembered that he hates sweets, and through the haze, saw that he wasn't drinking any of the prosecco.

Lila was made drunk, vulnerable, and pliable, all under the disguise of being cared for and pampered by someone who is supposed to be looking out for her. But the truth is, she's entirely financially dependent, and quitting her contact with him will mean that she loses everything. As it is, she feels like she owes Gianni everything. After all, he's the one who gave her her career, put her in a gorgeous new loft with a new car, and takes care of everything.

That chapter was the first time she's seeing all the boundaries he's not just violating, but tapdancing on and quietly asking "Whatcha gonna do about it?"

And what's wild is that nothing even bad happens in the chapter. Not in the Dark Romance way (no shade to you brave girls, just my own trauma can't handle it. I had to quit several books from causing me panic attacks) But Lila isn't physically hurt or injured, and he never raises his voice or anything. But he intentionally gets her very pliant and vulnerable so that he can try to get her to sign a new contract "update" that would especially be a full custody agreement, and she'd lose every shred of autonomy. She'd become legal property.

But writing it left me fully wrung out and raw, and then when I got home I legit panic spiraled. And since there was no actual danger, my brain found one fairly harmless thing to latch onto and then catastrophize over: it screeched that I'm at 75k words and that I'm running out of space and need to wrap up this disaster book, and holy hell they're entering act 3 and haven't had sëx even once yet, readers are gonna be held pi**ed even if it IS a slow burn, and I'm going to have to scrap the whole book and write it a third time because the first two are s**t shows, and....

So yeah, yesterday was a bad headspace day. Great chapter, but today I'm just chilling with my music, and hammering out act 3 beats, and reading my orc romances so someone else can have a bad day ace it's not my problem 😂

Finished chapter 21 and it was honestly such a quietly intense chapter that it left me emotionally hung over and in need of a hug.

Who needs someone tall, green, and growly to brighten their day a little? Happy release day!!

A prim figure skating heiress, a savage orc hockey enforcer. One month to a charity performance that will save both careers!

Things are heating up on the ice with the Orc Hockey League! Here's your next spicy read!

Seriously, I dunno how pantsers do it. I'm not sure I can cope with the levels of anxiety that come from not knowing all the actual details before I write them 😂

Currently facing the biggest issue for indie writers: lack of reviews. I'm considering buying a few of the printed paperbacks to offer to booktok girlies. I'd love your thoughts.