Tolero Solutions

Friday reminder: not every conversation needs to be about work. Actually, that's probably a good place to start heading into the weekend.

Small talk gets a bad rap...

“How was your week?”

“Busy.”

“Same.”

Excellent. Deeply meaningful human connection achieved. Umhum. But good small talk isn't about filling silence or checking the networking box. As I tell my clients, small talk done right isn't small!

It's about connection!

Ask about the vacation.
The new restaurant.
The hobby.
The book.
The dog.
The thing they're excited about that has absolutely nothing to do with their job.

And then, here's the radical part: Listen.

Because people don't build trusted relationships exclusively through strategy decks, KPIs and calendar invites. We're people. Act accordingly.

That's also a big part of the work I do with leaders and teams, helping them communicate better, build trust, navigate pressure, and create relationships that actually support performance and transformation.

So as you head into the weekend, maybe have a conversation that isn't about productivity for once.

Ask a better question.

Be curious.

Pay attention.

You might be surprised where the conversation goes. And if you're looking for a few better questions to steal, I wrote more about why small talk isn't small and how to make it genuine rather than painfully transactional: https://tolerosolutions.com/small-talk-trust/

Happy Friday. Go talk to a human. 😉

Small Talk Isn’t Small: The Role of Conversation and Connection in Building Trusted Relationships The problem with small talk is that we have made it synonymous with meaningless conversation. “How was your weekend?” “Busy.” “Yeah, same.” “Crazy weather.” “Yep.” Thrilling. Sarcasm intended. No wonder people hate small talk. But I think we have confused small talk with meaningl...

Friday Reflections. 💭

We all make bad decisions. Leaders, coaches, executives, and yes, even those of us who should probably know better. 😉

But here's the thing: a bad decision is an event, not an identity.

I've seen too many people let one mistake, one failed initiative, or one outcome they didn't want become the story they tell themselves about who they are.

That's a problem. Because when we define ourselves by our failures, we limit our willingness to take risks, learn, and make the next decision. Instead, ask yourself:

🔹 What did this outcome teach me?

🔹 What would I do differently next time?

🔹 What information do I have now that I didn't have before?

🔹 How can I use that insight to move forward?

Leadership (life) isn't about getting every decision right. It's about having the self-awareness to learn from the wrong ones, the courage to make better choices, and the resilience to keep moving.

An outcome is information. It isn't an identity. As long as we are willing to learn.

Take the lesson. Leave the self-condemnation. And give yourself permission to make a better decision next time.

Have a great weekend. Enjoy it, recharge, and remember: one bad call doesn't define your entire story.

It’s Friday. Before we rush into the weekend, this image is a good reminder that our emotions don’t just happen to us. They are often shaped by the equation we bring to the situation.

Disappointment = Expectations – Reality.

Anxiety = Uncertainty × Powerlessness.

Regret = Disappointment + Responsibility.

And perhaps my favorite as someone who works with leaders navigating pressure, change, and complexity:

Joy = Love – Fear.

We can't always control the circumstances around us. We can't eliminate uncertainty, prevent disappointment, or make change any less… well, change. But we can pause and examine the equation...

What expectations are you carrying?

Where are you giving away your power?

What are you afraid of?

What might change if you adjusted the variables you can influence?

That kind of self-awareness is where better leadership begins. And frankly, it is also where a little more peace can begin.

As you wrap up the week, take a moment to check your own emotional equation. You may not need to solve everything. You may just need to change the formula.

Enjoy the weekend. Take care of yourselves. Disconnect when you can. And make room for something that adds a little more curiosity, joy, and wonder to your equation.

This image is a good reminder that sometimes the biggest thing getting in the way of a team's performance isn't a lack of talent, effort, or ideas.

It's leadership. More specifically, the unintended ways leaders can diminish the people around them...

The Optimist.

The Rescuer.

The Rapid Responder.

The Idea Guy.

The Pacesetter.

The Always On leader.

Here's the thing: most of these behaviors come from a good place...

You want your team to succeed.

You want to help.

You have ideas.

You move fast.

You set high standards.

You bring energy.

But intention and impact aren't always the same thing. And the goal is to align our impact and intent.

When leaders jump in too quickly, solve every problem, overwhelm people with ideas, set an unsustainable pace, or never truly switch off, they can unintentionally create dependency, exhaustion, disengagement, and silence.

That's something I work with leaders on often through coaching and leadership development:

How do you lead without becoming the bottleneck?

How do you challenge without overwhelming?

How do you support without rescuing?

How do you bring energy without expecting everyone else to operate at your speed?

And perhaps most importantly…

How do you know when your leadership style is helping people grow and when it may be unintentionally holding them back?

So, as you wrap up your week, take a moment for a little leadership reflection...

What might your team need less of from you?

And what might they be capable of if you gave them a little more space to step up?

Then, when the workweek is over, practice what you preach. Step away. Recharge. Self-care makes for a more effective leader.

☀️🌑There are some experiences you can plan for. And then there are some transformative experiences that stop you in your tracks.

On August 12, I witnessed a total solar eclipse — at sea, off the coast of Spain.
It was a first for me.

These amateur photos don't really capture what it felt like to watch the moon completely block the sun, to see daylight disappear, and then, moments later, watch the sun return.

It was awe-inspiring. And, honestly, a little emotional.

But what struck me almost as much as the eclipse itself was what I wasn't doing...

❌I wasn't working.
❌I wasn't checking email.
❌I wasn't thinking about the next meeting.
❌I was unplugged.

I had intentionally taken the cruise vacation to experience something new, and I 𝗴𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 to simply be there for it. That matters!

Because self-care isn't always about adding another thing to your already-full to-do list...

✅Sometimes it's about stepping away.
✅Sometimes it's about being open to a new experience without needing to control the outcome.
✅Sometimes it's about gratitude — for the opportunity, the experience, the people you're sharing it with, and simply being present enough to notice it.

And there's a lesson in that eclipse that connects directly to the work I do with leaders and organizations...

𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 can sometimes feel like totality...

The familiar light disappears.
What worked before may no longer work.
The path forward may feel unclear.

🔦There can be uncertainty, discomfort, and even a moment where you wonder: "Is the light coming back?"

But totality isn't the end of the story. The sun is still there. And when the conditions shift, the light returns. That's a lot like leadership transformation.

My work with leaders and organizations isn't about pretending the darkness isn't there. It's about helping people navigate it — with clarity, adaptability, resilience, perspective, and the willingness to see what might be possible on the other side.

Because sometimes transformation requires us...

To pause.
To step back.
To experience something differently.
To let go of what we think we know.
And to trust that the sun will shine again.

I'm grateful I gave myself the space to experience this one. And I'm even more grateful for the reminder that sometimes the most powerful transformation begins when we stop, look up, and actually pay attention.

📲If you or your organization are 𝗻𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 "𝘁𝗼𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆" — a period of change, uncertainty, or transformation — let's talk. I help leaders move through the disruption, find clarity, and turn change into forward momentum.

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I'm Scott Span
➡ I help leaders perform effectively when pressure, change, and complexity collide ⬅
Click my name + follow + 🔔

Empathy isn't about lowering standards. It's about raising your awareness.

As another week comes to a close, here's something worth reflecting on.

Too often, empathy gets dismissed as being "soft." In reality, it's one of the hardest leadership skills to master because it requires curiosity before judgment, listening before reacting, and understanding before deciding.

This graphic highlights several practices that matter:
Create a culture of teamwork.
Ask better questions.
Listen more than you speak.
Be authentic.
Accept people for who they are.

I'd add one more:
Empathy without accountability creates comfort. Accountability without empathy creates fear. Great leaders know how to balance both.

Fact: That's especially true during times of change and transformation. People don't resist change simply because they dislike it. They resist when they don't feel heard, understood, or included in the journey.

The leaders who create lasting transformation are the ones who can challenge people while still connecting with them as human beings.

It's a principle I reinforce throughout my G.R.O.U.N.D.™ and G.R.I.T.™ coaching frameworks: strong leadership isn't choosing between results and relationships—it's recognizing that sustainable results are built through strong relationships.

As you head into the weekend, ask yourself:
Who on your team needs less of your answers next week...and more of your attention?

Have a great weekend.

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I'm Scott Span
➡ Helping Leaders Perform Effectively When Pressure, Change, and Complexity Collide ⬅
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Contact me for a chat 📲

😎 𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙛𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚! It’s still a cornerstone of my work with coaching clients and something I continue to live out myself.

🏖️The beach remains my happy place. My recharge station. The space where the rhythm of the waves helps reset my own rhythm. My trip to the beach last week was another chance to reflect, reboot, and soak up joy with my two- and four-legged travel companions.

😌 Being at the beach is never just a vacation. It’s a relaxing outdoor classroom. Every year, new lessons show up in the sand and surf. Here are a few that struck me this time around:

✔️ 𝙅𝙤𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨. Watching the pack, my dogs, (and my friends' kids) experience the beach with unfiltered excitement reminded me that good energy is transferable. Bring the right energy into your team or workplace. It ripples outward.

✔️ 𝘽𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧. Sure, sometimes your towel may get wet. But the tide knows where to stop. The shoreline is the line in the sand that the tide creates. In leadership and life, clear boundaries protect your well-being and prevent burnout.

✔️ 𝘽𝙖𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙖𝙙𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩. Just like keeping your footing in the sand when the waves rush in, maintaining balance in life and work isn’t “set it and forget it.” It’s ongoing, adaptive, and requires agility, flexibility, and awareness of shifting conditions.

✔️ 𝙇𝙚𝙩 𝙜𝙤 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣’𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮. Wet sand clings to everything, but you can shake it off. We hold onto too much, resentments, outdated expectations, and unhelpful habits. Leadership (and life) gets lighter when we shake off messy things weighing us down, and we choose what’s worth carrying forward.

✔️ 𝙋𝙡𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙪𝙡. It’s not wasted time. Building dribble castles with the kids. Running with the dogs, laughing, splashing, it’s fuel. Leaders who make room for play increase balance and build resilience, creativity, and stronger connections.

Even though I try to check out of "reality" when at the beach, the beach is still one of my greatest teachers. It’s a reminder that joy and self-care are not selfish. It’s strategic. Without it, you can’t show up at your best for others or yourself.

🌊 Like coaching, the beach offers perspective: it helps you reboot, reset boundaries, ride out the waves, and refocus on what truly matters.

So, I’ll ask you again:

👉 What does self-care look like for you?

👉 Where’s your happy place and what lessons has it taught you?

☎️ Curious how coaching can help you reboot, reset, and ride life’s currents with clarity? Let’s chat!

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I'm Scott Span

➡ I support you to overcome what’s holding you back and achieve results ⬅

Repost this to spread the learning📑

Contact me for a chat 📲

📖 I didn't write this article from theory. I wrote it from lived experience as a neurodivergent leader and executive coach. And from years of helping leaders and organizations unlock the strengths that come from thinking differently.

🧠 Too often, neurodiversity is still viewed as an accommodation issue. That's the wrong conversation.

Neurodiversity is a business advantage.

In my latest article for Employee Benefit News, I explore why organizations that intentionally embrace cognitive diversity don't just create more inclusive workplaces—they build stronger leaders, more innovative teams, and better business outcomes.

Read the article: https://www.benefitnews.com/opinion/neurodiversity-is-a-business-advantage

Some highlights:

• Stop treating neurodiversity as an HR initiative—it's a leadership and business strategy.

• Different ways of thinking lead to better problem-solving, innovation, and decision-making.

• The biggest barriers aren't neurodivergent employees—they're outdated systems and leadership practices.

• Inclusion isn't about lowering expectations. It's about removing unnecessary barriers so people can perform at their best.

• Organizations that leverage cognitive diversity will have a competitive advantage over those that don't.

As someone who also coaches neurodivergent leaders, I've seen firsthand what happens when people stop trying to fit into someone else's definition of success and instead learn to leverage how they're uniquely wired.

That's why my G.R.O.U.N.D.™ and G.R.I.T.™ approach is foundational to my coaching work—helping leaders build self-awareness, adaptability, resilience, and sustainable performance without asking them to become someone they're not.

🏆 The future of leadership isn't about creating teams that think the same. It's about creating cultures where different ways of thinking are recognized as a strategic advantage

I'd love to hear your perspective. How is your organization moving beyond accommodation to truly leveraging cognitive diversity❓

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I'm Scott Span

➡ I help leaders perform effectively when pressure, change, and complexity collide ⬅

Click my name + follow + 🔔

Repost this to spread the learning📑

Contact me for a chat 📲

Neurodiversity is a business advantage (if we stop pretending it doesn't exist) The founder of Tolero Solutions identifies what it means to frame work, meetings and an environment around the individuals within an organization.

As we head into the weekend...

In a world obsessed with AI, automation, and the next productivity hack, it's easy to forget what has always driven high-performing teams.

𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲.

No technology can replace the need to feel seen.

No algorithm can create genuine trust.

No software update can manufacture purpose, connection, or belonging.

The best leaders understand that culture isn't built through platforms. It's built through conversations. Through curiosity. Through empathy. Through showing up consistently for the people you lead.

This is something I spend a lot of time helping leaders strengthen through my 𝗚.𝗥.𝗢.𝗨.𝗡.𝗗.™ 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗚.𝗥.𝗜.𝗧.™ coaching frameworks. The organizations that outperform over the long term don't have the latest tools first—they create environments where people can do their best work because they know they matter.

As the week comes to a close, take a moment to ask yourself:

Whom did I help feel valued this week❓

Because people may forget the meeting, the presentation, or the quarterly report...but they'll remember how you made them feel.

Have a great weekend. Recharge, reconnect with the people who matter most, and come back ready to lead the humans—not just the work.

-----------------------------------------

I'm Scott Span

➡ I support you to overcome what’s holding you back and achieve results ⬅

Click my name + follow + 🔔

Repost this to spread the learning📑

Contact me for a chat 📲

As another week comes to a close, this image offers a good reminder that gratitude is more than a mindset. It's a practice.

Most people think gratitude is saying thank you, making a list, or counting blessings. Those things matter.

But gratitude also shows up in the quieter moments:
• Noticing the small win after a difficult week.
• Recognizing the effort you put in, even when the outcome isn't perfect.
• Being fully present instead of rushing to the next thing.
• Accepting kindness when it's offered.
• Giving yourself credit for how far you've come.

In my coaching work, I often see leaders who are quick to acknowledge everyone else's contributions but struggle to recognize their own growth. They focus on what's left to do rather than what's already been accomplished.

Progress doesn't only come from pushing harder. Sometimes it comes from pausing long enough to appreciate the ground you've already covered.

Before you log off for the weekend, take a moment to reflect:
What's one thing you're genuinely grateful for this week—and what's one thing you're proud of yourself for?

Have a great weekend. You've made it through another week. Well done.