B-Awake

Seahawks WIN !

You already know B is up there somewhere talking a little trash, smiling that smile and celebrating big!

I can hear him now … “Go HAWKS!”

We all wish he was still here celebrating on earth, especially right next to me right now. But I know heaven just got louder tonight because of him.

So this post is for B! My heavenly husband.
Tonight I celebrate his team, he was born and raised here and loved his city and loved this team.

Your legacy carries on handsome.

After being down and out for three and a half months, and I finally had our first night out since before my surgery. It turns out my immune system is still compromised, because just two days after the event, I caught COVID for the first time and ended up in the ER twice. I was hospitalized for four days because I could barely breathe.
Due to my current condition, the doctors said I got hit super hard. I’m still recovering, and it set me back about a month.

With everything I’ve been through over the past couple of years, my perspective has shifted in a major way. I’m far more moved by what someone has SURVIVED than by what they’ve ACCOMPLISHED.
Even though I wouldn’t wish what I’ve endured on anyone, I do wish I could somehow implant the lessons I’ve learned into people’s minds. When you’re given an expiration date, it strips away everything you thought mattered and brings sharp focus to what truly does.
So don’t get caught up in the doomsday forecast the media pushes. If you have your health, you have everything, and no excuses. Because if you ever find yourself in a position like mine, where even getting out of bed to face another day of pain becomes a challenge, and simple tasks feel monumental, your whole world changes.
I’m no victim, and I’ve never felt sorry for myself. I’m just here to remind you: in the blink of an eye, everything can change. So LIVE like tomorrow doesn’t exist. And if you woke up feeling good today, recognize that for the miracle it is.
I’m still here, still fighting, surrendering to the healing process. And no matter how this journey unfolds, I’ll never lose my love, my warrior spirit, my dignity, or my belief that I can still do this.
Much love to you all.

Sometimes people cross your path and you know your life’s about to change. Day 1.

Today’s my birthday, and I’m feeling incredibly grateful to have made it another year. It’s a bittersweet occasion, though: I’m spending it in the hospital. I’ve been at war this thing for almost a year and half now, and it’s been fighting me longer than that, but I’m holding onto hope that this next year brings some peace.
I’ve got a lot of goals for the future, but the two that matter most right now are healing and making it to my next birthday. It’s been hard not being able to move around, create in the studio, perform, or feel like myself. But all I can do is be patient, focus on healing, and keep the faith that I’ll be back soon.
Much love to everyone who continues to show us support; it means more than I can express, both to me and . I’ve been through hell, but I’m choosing to make the best of today because I’m STILL HERE, and I’m still determined to prove the doctors wrong. 😤

It’s been a month since I married the love of my life . It’s been a rough ass honeymoon. 🤣 Not really what we expected but once I heal we’re going to celebrate for real. Marrying her was the best decision I’ve ever made and I’m blessed to be able to spend the rest of my life with her.

📸

Today’s the first day in four weeks that I’ve felt decent, and that’s saying something. After dropping over 25 pounds since my surgery and basically being stuck in bed most of the time and indoors all of the time, I finally got to get outside today. Shout out to , , and for sending me some gear from their new drop. I truly appreciate y’all. I’ve been rocking with the brand for some years now and it reminds me that my recovery process is going to be exactly what it reads as- a slow grind. The complimentary package came right on time. Much love fellas. 🙏🫡

My surgery was executed at UW Medical Center on the 20th. Unfortunately, like most of this journey, the outcome isn’t what I hoped for. The good news is they fixed my hernia and were able to cut out about 80% of the cancer, and I don’t need an ostomy bag. The bad news is they couldn’t get to about 20 percent of the cancer they detected. After 8 days in the hospital, I made it home ahead of schedule. I lost 20 pounds in one week. This is definitely the hardest thing I’ve been through yet. I’m pretty much going to be bedridden for a month and the process to rebuild my body is going to take some time, since I won’t be able to exercise for a while. The doctors are calling my cancer incurable now, so as soon as I start to heal I’ll have to make a decision as to whether I want to attempt to keep the cancer at bay by doing chemo, spending a bunch of time searching for alternative methods, or live my life to the absolute fu***ng fullest, put out my album and tour/travel around the world taking in beautiful moments with my wife . According to the doctors, if I don’t do chemo or find a miraculous cure, I probably have about 1 to two years to live, give or take. Chemo can maybe buy me an extra year. Nonetheless, my message is still the same. I’m going to live and go out on my feet and not my knees and this hell will never break my soul. Thank you for all your prayers and well wishes; it’s never personal if I don’t respond. Much love.

What an epic weekend. Ran into some incredible people and shot a powerful video with my bro for my new song ‘Fight or Flight,’ coming soon. Shoutout to everyone I saw and worked with: , , , , and, always by my side, my soon-to-be wifey . Today’s my twelfth and possibly final round of chemo. Let’s get it! 😤🤣