Erin Austin

I’m so grateful I get to do this fun Holiday band with my gal pals from

We had some magical moments this season; one that tops the charts is when we got to perform live on morning show over at

The kind folks over there made this video of the whole gosh darn thing! Hope you watch it and feel all the Christmas hope and love and joy!

Merry Christmas to you and yours! ❤️❤️❤️🎄🎄🎄💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

https://youtu.be/mmJopKAXus8

It’s been a long, lonely and hard winter. For better or worse, we will never go back to the way things were. On top of all the regular life ups (omg The Carol Van!?!) and downs (probably gotta say cancer), everyone has been some chilling degree of frozen, if not buried in (metaphorical) *snow* of the events of 2020. Today, has released our version of the song “Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)”. A song we were so fond of *before* that, now ... today as we are all making our way towards the light at the end of the tunnel to *after*, we give you our hearts and hopes captured in this nostalgic understated anthem as our call for unity ... digging our tunnels through the snow, move toward the light together, meet in the middle, slowly unthaw and use all we’ve learned to dream again to build back a better world together. Thank you to all involved in making this recording a reality if only to contribute to a small but breathtaking example of what beautiful things are possible when we come together. Thank you for listening. “Sometimes, we remember our bedrooms and our parents bedrooms and the bedrooms of our friends. Then we think of our parents. Well, whatever happened to them?” Link in bio/comments.

The bangs are back in business! First haircut since last Christmas. Feeling pretty recovered from my first reconstructive surgery 3 weeks ago. Happy to be on this side of the cancer journey. 7 surgeries down, 5 to go! That deserves bangs, baby! Thanks for all the love, buds! Happy Fall!

A couple of weeks ago, I got to record for the first time since COVID started. With this year of cancer stuff, I’ve been pretty focused on medical research (totally not my forte). Getting back into the studio, I remembered that I still have a voice and I can use it to make things I’m proud of; this felt very good. Right now, I’m feeling nervous because tomorrow morning, I’m having my first (of a few) reconstructive surgeries. Keep me in your thoughts tomorrow, please (maybe even tonight too ‘cause the nerves, ya know?) Thanks for all the thoughtful and kind letters and cards... gifts and surprises ... support and love through this process. I feel it all and I’m so grateful to have you in my life!

Happy Dad’s Day!

I know I lucked out! He’s the kind of guy who makes the right choice even when it’s hard or unpopular or not what he wants for himself. He chooses my mom first. He chooses us kids second and everything else comes after that. He’s on my side. And when he makes mistakes, he owns them. He’s resilient, dedicated and loves people so much. I know how lucky I am.

Happy Father’s Day to a dad who was made to be a dad!

Surgery/Cancer update:

took this photo in the recovery room after last Thursday’s double mastectomy surgery.

Yesterday, I got the results from all the breast tissue they removed and there is no cancer left!

I’ve decided to use fat grafting for the reconstruction. So, 3 months from now, I can start the reconstruction. Then it’s small surgery’s every 3 months for 3-5 surgeries. 2 week recoveries instead of 8 weeks.

Right now, I’m updating you from my hospital bed. Last night, I rushed to the Emergency Room and had to have another urgent surgery. The blood wasn’t draining properly. So, my surgeon went in through the same incisions from last week’s double mastectomy scars to remove 1 liter of blood and clots building quickly on my left chest.

Now, it’s 8 weeks of recovery.

I’m safe and well cared for here. Thanks for keeping up on this and being part of my life and cancer journey thus far. My hope is that something I say or do helps nudge you in a positive way.

Love to you all!

(Part 2 of 2)

*No Man Is An Island*

I feel connected to the people I love and that love me. I know I am not alone in my cancer journey much like we all are not alone in the Coronavirus journey but I’m actually physically alone.

On May 7th, the mammogram and then ultrasound imaging showed a new tumor and a lymph node that “didn’t look good”. The 10 days to follow was the hardest part of my cancer climb so far.

I am still alone.

That Saturday, Fredric risked his own health to jumped on a plane to spend one night with me while I lost my s**t. He held my hand as I sobbed like a toddler in the tub and repeated “I don’t want to do this anymore”.

I waited 5 days until I could see a doctor who took 4 samples from the new tumor and 3 from the abnormal lymph node with a needle.

I waited longer for the results. Alone again. Feeling a lot like an island.

It’s the most depressed I’ve ever felt in my life.

I had hope with the “watch and wait” idea; hope that I could be done with all of this. I never dreamed (nightmared?) that a new tumor could show up this fast.

You’d think it would be an instant relief when the results came back negative for cancer. It was not.

I’m grieving the loss of hope that my time can be my own again soon. The fact is, I never EVER want to get another mammogram that might come back with me needing to get more needle biopsies. Ever. Imagine potentially having to do that every 3 months? I could lose 10 days again and again and again. No.

So, more surgeries: one more mastectomy surgery and, after 3 months of healing, I can start reconstruction. This may take another year or more.

Tomorrow, May 28th, I will have my 5th surgery since October. The surgeon will remove all of my breast tissue. They will test it and see if there is any cancer left in any of it. I believe, if the tests tell us that there is no cancer in the breast tissue, I will feel like I can at least see the top of the mountain through a little clearing in the woods. I hope that once I finish this climb, I’ll be able to look back at the time I had cancer with a beautiful perspective.

I have felt your love. I have felt your prayers and well wishes. Send more tomorrow at 6am. ❤

Update on Cancer & Coronavirus
(1 of a 2 part post)

*Climb Every Mountain*

The only way to see this beautiful view, that my friend Joe calls “lookout point” in Moran State Park on Orcas Island, is to climb the mountain; one foot in front of the other. Cancer is my mountain with Coronavirus being a particularly tricky trail to traverse.

After my last surgery in February, I was prepared for the 6-8 week recovery and my next step was to finish the double-mastectomy in May. When everything in the world was *canceled*, so was my next surgery (technically, postponed).

The five stages of grief that everyone seemed to go through in March when we were told to stay home and take care of our health, I went through in July last year when I found out about the cancer. I have stability and some great home routines (you’re welcome to ask about them if you’re still struggling or simply interested). I have made peace and even found joy in being alone at home.

In the postponement of my surgery, I sought expert advise about my reoccurrence probability. This advise not only made it possible for me to feel comfortable waiting to get my next surgery but also gave me the idea that I could be DONE with surgery and treatment. The relieving option to “watch and wait” doing self-checks at home and getting scans every 3 months seemed like a dream! It meant moving on with my life. So, over FaceTime, I started writing a new record with a couple of collaborators.

On May 4th, the Coronavirus moratorium was lifted a bit; I could now schedule (relatively on time) my *elective* cancer surgery as we all could start coming back out in the world ... very ... slowly. I told my surgeon that I was thinking of doing the “watch and wait” with 3 month scans. So, we scheduled a scan to see the *new normal* imaging of my breasts.

I was not prepared for was what happened on May 7th. (See next post)

New Music! A few years ago, asked me to write and record keyboards for his project. He “blind” recorded 7 musicians playing parts over years ... never at the same time. I don’t know most of the musicians that wrote on this song. We were only allowed to listen to one other instrument to write our part. The result is this new single “Ice Waves” that is out today! Link in bio. Loved being part of this!

Update on Cancer, Coronavirus and Commissions: I’ll start with the good news. I received the pathology report of all the breast tissue that was removed two weeks ago during my first of two double mastectomy surgeries. There is no cancer in any of the tissue taken out. This is HUGE news for me. The hardest part was getting the steri-strips removed yesterday and seeing my freshly-chopped-Frankenstein-boobs. I cried. Nothing can really prepare you for that. After I heal over the next few weeks, I’ll meet with my surgeon on April 5th and make a decision on best next steps. I’m still leaning toward going through with the second double mastectomy surgery and then fat grafting. Right now, I’m hanging at home a lot. The Coronavirus being in Seattle and well ... me being in Seattle living on “pill hill” between all the hospitals is a little scary. I’m lucky to have friends who are braving grocery runs for me so I don’t risk exposure while I’m healing from surgery and doing all this cancer stuff. Something beautiful to share is the work of the talented Mr. Kyle Perry. ._._nothing I commissioned him to watercolor paint my eyes for Fredric for a Valentine’s Day gift. Today, he delivered a present to me ... Fredric’s watercolored eyes. Even though the Coronavirus has us apart for the foreseeable future, I get to see his kind, strong, steely eyes whenever I want :). Thank you for all the well wishes and flowers and love during this cancer journey. It’s not over yet but I’m happy getting good news along the way! Alright, stay safe, be smart and wash your hands! ❤️, Erin @ Seattle, Washington

Cancer update: On Wednesday, I will have the first of two nipple-sparing double mastectomy surgeries. During the 6-8 weeks of recovery, I can decided if I want to go all the way with the double mastectomy or just do the radiation. If I do radiation and the tumors come back, I can’t do radiation again next time. If I do the full double mastectomy and the cancer tumors return, I can do radiation. So, I think I’d like to keep the radiation card in the back pocket as a “just in case”. If I go through with the second nipple-sparing double mastectomy surgery, I can choose to go flat and be done with surgeries or I can decided to get implants or do fat grafting which will mean more surgeries. I’m taking one step at a time. Next step, surgery on Wednesday. Like I said before, no chemo but I will be doing 5 years of hormone therapy (Tamoxifen). This will effect my fertility. Thanks to I have 23 “maybe babies” (eggs) frozen. So, I can have little kiddos some day and there’s no pressure on the timeline of having a family. Today, I feel pretty low and scared and nervous but most days I actually feel pretty darn lucky. I’m lucky to be alive. I’m lucky we caught this early. I’m lucky to have such a wonderful family with parents who can swoop in and save the day. I’m lucky to be so well loved and have by my side. I’m lucky to have you. Thanks for reading and keeping up with the cancer stuff. I’d be grateful if you could think lots of good thoughts on Wednesday. Thank you 🙏 Take care of yourselves!