GenerationalWords

For the next few weeks, Author Valerie McAllister will feature a co-author from her new book, an Anthology entitled, “The Corona Chronicles”. Support the work of these amazing writers by purchasing a copy of the book. Simply click on the website, www.genword.org and order your copy today

This featured co-author is Verlean Hailey – aka Dr. V
8 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dying Patients
Shut In, but not Shut Out

George Floyd was not my hospice patient but his death took me from doing grief work with families who had lost loved ones, to COVID 19, to grief work with families who had lost their loved ones to police brutality long before George was murdered. This grief work was a local, state, country, and even international work. Mothers were crying all over the world. George mattered, as God used his murder to spark a sense of humanity and give voice to those who had been silent far too long. Parents were bringing their young children to the marches and since they were already homeschooling them, they had the opportunity to teach them history-making live and in living color, globally! With face masks on, bottles of water, and hand-painted signs, they eagerly joined the Black Lives Matter protests in cities all over the world. Many would say, it is worth it to risk my life getting COVID-19, to support this movement. The time is NOW, and we refuse to SHUT-UP. I will become a part of the movement by “praying, planning, protesting, and protecting.” Praying for God’s grace, mercy, wisdom, and peace as we resolve our humanity issues. I will assist in planning the dismantling of systemic racism in police departments and boardrooms. I will continue to virtually protest until I can physically protest these injustices. Finally, I will protect our rights as a people to expect to be treated as equals by exercising my right to vote. George taught me as he took his last breath, that I can’t afford to be Shut In and Shut Up at the same time. Life Matters. Breathe!

For the next few weeks, Author Valerie McAllister will feature a co-author from her new book, an Anthology entitled, “The Corona Chronicles”. Support the work of these amazing writers by purchasing a copy of the book. Simply click on the website, www.genword.org and order your copy today

This featured co-author is Verlean Hailey – aka Dr. V
8 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dying Patients
Shut In, but not Shut Out

“Shut In” but don’t “Shut Up”. The last lesson I want to share with you is directly from the double dose of what God allowed us to experience while Covid-19 performed its purpose in 2020.George Floyd was murdered by a Minnesota policeman in 8 minutes and 46 seconds. George died calling for his mother who was already deceased. George died begging to be allowed to breathe as the officer was resting his hard knees on his neck. He died in the streets, with his hands cuffed behind his back, on his face with no air left in his body, over a $20.00 counterfeit bill. People that had been shut in for months came out boldly and without fear of contracting COVID-19 to protest this grievous act. They wore t-shirts that said, “I Can’t Breathe” and “Black Lives Matter”. The Z Generation, taking the lead in cities all across America, demonstrated peacefully, while those who took advantage of the revolution burned and looted local businesses. This was a great distraction to the main reason the masses were protesting. Police brutality is systemic and the people were tired, sick, and tired of it. The public was the tipping point for those that were shut-in who refused to be shut up!

For the next few weeks, Author Valerie McAllister will feature a co-author from her new book, an Anthology entitled, “The Corona Chronicles”. Support the work of these amazing writers by purchasing a copy of the book. Simply click on the website, www.genword.org and order your copy today

This featured co-author is Verlean Hailey – aka Dr. V
8 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dying Patients
Shut In, but not Shut Out

Your uniqueness is a gift to somebody. One of my Virginia Hospice patients really blessed my soul. I will call him Deacon Love. He was in a nursing home. A strong Black Man, dark as night, tough as nails, gentle as a lamb. Most of all, he had the gift of sensitivity. I would often visit when his wife and daughter were visiting, and we would be hanging onto every word he said. He was a great director of that hospital bed. He knew exactly how things were supposed to go and why. Deacon Love and I were working on his “Legacy Letters” – which left words of wisdom to his family members and friends. He would dictate and I would ask questions to draw out even more of his inner wisdom. One day, I came into his room and my heart was so very heavy (with some of my own personal issues). He was asleep, but even while he slept, I felt his compassionate and wise strength as I entered the room. I felt compelled, really very compelled to lay my head on his bed and just pray for Him and Pray for me. I began to quietly weep as I presented to the Lord, this dying man, and my dying marriage. (the 3rd one). Next thingI know, I felt Deacon Love’s strong hand on my head. The Chaplain was now being consoled by the patient. Trust me, I absorbed it. I let go of all professionalism, and I received him as the father I’ve never had consoling his sad daughter. I allowed myself to cry it out in this role reversal and being the wise man he was when I was able to get my composure and step back into my professional role, he never questioned me about it. He never made me feel that I had lost any ground with him. In fact, he said to me when I finished praying for him, “daughter, thank you.” Those were his final words to me.Seven days later he took his heavenly position in the presence of the Lord in the fullness of joy! I know Deacon Love was a gift to his family and church family, but his gift to me that day was uniquely branded for the very core of my being. Deacon Love, on his dying bed, still allowed God to use him for His Glory. The gift didn’t die before he did. Remember, your uniqueness is a gift to somebody! Don’t let it die before you do!

For the next few weeks, Author Valerie McAllister will feature a co-author from her new book, an Anthology entitled, “The Corona Chronicles”. Support the work of these amazing writers by purchasing a copy of the book. Simply click on the website, www.genword.org and order your copy today

This featured co-author is Verlean Hailey – aka Dr. V
8 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dying Patients
Shut In, but not Shut Out

In 1985, I quietly sat by my grandfather’s death bed. I remember how peaceful it was in that room. Setting there speechless because I couldn’t think of anything to say to the strongest man ever in my life, as he lay there looking so frail and weak. He gently touched my hand and whispered all while staring out the window saying, “I wished I no longer had these cows and horses.” I couldn’t understand why granddaddy would say that because I never knew of a day in my life that he didn’t love and cherish his farm animals. He continued to whisper with tears welling up in his eyes, “daughter, I wish I didn’t have them because I can’t get up and take care of them.” That broke me! My grandfather didn’t complain one day about the stomach cancer he lived with for years. Not one day! In fact, I never heard granddaddy complain about much of anything, including dying. The resolve on his face about having something that he could no longer take care of was my real lesson here. That was in 1985, I still feel the depth of my granddaddy’s resolve. Granddaddy’s peace came with having a sense of purpose. Granddaddy had raised nine sons and five daughters as well as countless farm animals. Grandma never had to work, he was an amazing provider, working construction, and farming all his life. He had peace in his purpose – as a husband, father, and provider.

For the next few weeks, Author Valerie McAllister will feature a co-author from her new book, an Anthology entitled, “The Corona Chronicles”. Support the work of these amazing writers by purchasing a copy of the book. Simply click on the website, www.genword.org and order your copy today

This featured co-author is Verlean Hailey – aka Dr. V
8 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dying Patients
Shut In, but not Shut Out

Peace is not overrated. I believe that other than my messages of unfailing love that we receive beyond measure from God, my real gift is the gift of “peace”. I have been told that my lawyers, doctors, ministers, children, and even strangers. I feel your peace, DrV. One lady said, “as soon as I turned on your street, long before I got to your front door, I felt the peace of God.” In my Texas home, the one called “CasaDora’s” I have one room called my “Quiet Room” – Peace is so thick in that room, even when I go sit in it for just a few minutes, I truly believe my blood pressure lowers. I am grateful for the gift of peace in my mind, body, spirit, and home.

For the next few weeks, Author Valerie McAllister will feature a co-author from her new book, an Anthology entitled, “The Corona Chronicles”. Support the work of these amazing writers by purchasing a copy of the book. Simply click on the website, www.genword.org and order your copy today

This featured co-author is Verlean Hailey – aka Dr. V
8 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dying Patients
Shut In, but not Shut Out

I visited my mom’s hospital room 48 hours before she passed. She was sharing with me that she didn’t have any more strength. I refused to accept that! I said, “Mom, you have always been strong. All my life you have been the strength of this family!” She said, “see Verl, I want this glass of water, but I can’t pick it up.” I said, “Mom, yes you can, just try.” She tried, but she just couldn’t. It made me afraid because I didn’t want to admit that all of Mom’s physical strength was gone. At her funeral, a poem was read that my dear friend Gail Hayes wrote for my Mom. It was entitled: “This is what strength looks like.” The poem talked nothing of physical strength, but rather of the strength of character, integrity, passion, and compassion, giving and forgiving, being selfless and soulful all at once. Gail penned that my Mom, “Ms. Lillie Dora” was all of that. Like in the hospital room and in the casket, Mom was the strongest in the room for me. The night before Mom passed, she called me at 11:05 pm and said, “Don’t forget to take the “frappe” to church tomorrow for the youth anniversary. Her last words to me were full of the strength that being mindful of others possesses. You don’t have to have physical strength, to be the strongest person in the room.

For the next few weeks, Author Valerie McAllister will feature a co-author from her new book, an Anthology entitled, “The Corona Chronicles”. Support the work of these amazing writers by purchasing a copy of the book. Simply click on the website, www.genword.org and order your copy today

This featured co-author is Verlean Hailey – aka Dr. V
8 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dying Patients
Shut In, but not Shut Out

One day I was making condolence calls to families who had recently lost their loved ones. One particular family was that of an ex-policemen, who was determined he was going to die at home and not a nursing home, and he got just what he wanted. Cancer had taken over his body and he was in daily and constant pain. The only thing cancer hadn’t invaded was his mind and his heart, and with those two working together he convinced his family to honor his wishes. They couldn’t afford the 24 hour home aide care, so they installed cameras throughout the house to watch their loved ones every move. I had actually sat with the family about 72 hours before he passed and the patient looked so well. He surrendered to getting into a hospital bed in his living room. He surrendered to the 24-hour camera, but again, he did not surrender to going into a nursing home. Even though he was outnumbered in the thought that this would be best for him, he stood his ground. I shared with his family how in his death, he showed us that even when your physical strength is gone, you can still possess the strength of mind and heart….supporting strongly your resolve. He wasn’t afraid of dying. He just felt strongly about choosing where he would die. His son shared that in all the lessons that his dad had taught him all his life, this one was the most impactful one. “The strength of your decision is enough, even when physical strength is gone.

For the next few weeks, Author Valerie McAllister will feature a co-author from her new book, an Anthology entitled, “The Corona Chronicles”. Support the work of these amazing writers by purchasing a copy of the book. Simply click on the website, www.genword.org and order your copy today

This featured co-author is Verlean Hailey – aka Dr. V
8 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dying Patients
Shut In, but not Shut Out

God went on to roll out of my very spirit these eight lessons: I will share them with you.
Let Your Life speak for YOU when dying leaves you speechless.
Leave your own LOVE legacy.
Cherish the promise of eternity in your heart.
Never take “Amazing Grace” for granted.
Physical strength is not necessary to be the strongest in the room.
Peace is not overrated.
Your uniqueness is a gift to somebody.
Shut in but don’t Shut Up.
One of the amazing gifts that COVID-19 gave was time to reflect while sheltering in.

For the next few weeks, Author Valerie McAllister will feature a co-author from her new book, an Anthology entitled, “The Corona Chronicles”. Support the work of these amazing writers by purchasing a copy of the book. Simply click on the website, www.genword.org and order your copy today

This featured is Verlean Hailey – aka Dr. V
8 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dying Patients
Shut In, but not Shut Out

The time I experienced being sheltered in by COVID-19 was and still is life-changing personally and professionally. My desire to remain as supportive spiritually to my patients, my co-workers, and their families is so very important to me. Heck, I longed to be with my own family members, but I could not. As much as I understood from a biblical perspective, Isaiah 26:20,
Restoration for Israel - Isaiah 26:20
Go home, my people, and lock your doors! Hide yourselves for a little while until the Lord’s anger has passed.
I still struggled with making the adjustment of having to be sheltered in, versus choosing to be shut-in. There were many days before COVID-19 when my patients and co-workers were the only people I shared my time with. But now with the restrictions and extreme safety concerns, my own vulnerabilities being African American, over 65, with hypertension, obesity, and type II diabetes, whew, God had to be up to something! I began to ask God, what am I to learn from being in “this place?” He whispered as He always does with me….learn from the dying!

For the next few weeks, Author Valerie McAllister will feature a co-author from her new book, an Anthology entitled, “The Corona Chronicles”. Support the work of these amazing writers by purchasing a copy of the book. Simply click on the website, www.genword.org and order your copy today


This featured co-author is Verlean Hailey – aka Dr. V
8 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dying Patients
Shut In, but not Shut Out

I have been a Hospice Chaplain for over six years now. I know God called me to it because I never, ever thought about becoming one. My very first job offer was to work at a funeral home and I quickly turned it down. I hated going to funerals, hospitals and grocery stores. Anything that was cold, old and dying, I didn’t want to have anything to do with. I would print you beautiful programs, write amazing eulogies, pray down heaven, but I never wanted to be near anything dying, not even flowers. So when I tell you God called me to this, it had to be God.
While sheltered in for three months, I was additionally denied access to the nursing homes to see my patients and I had very little contact with my co-workers. Since Covid19, most families were too afraid to see anyone but their nurses and even now, nursing homes only want telehealth visits. I had to learn how to convey my spiritual presence with only my voice. I have been told all my life that my voice was soothing, peaceful, and healing but I never really put much stock in that. Well, I had to now, it was what I needed most because I could no longer reach out and touch, hug or use my facial expressions to convey love, peace and that blessed assurance to my patients. I loved reading to my patients, but it was more than just the reading, even my silence between each word had to count.

For the next few weeks, Author Valerie McAllister will feature a co-author from her new book, an Anthology entitled, “The Corona Chronicles”. Support the work of these amazing writers by purchasing a copy of the book. Simply click on the website, www.genword.org and order your copy today

This featured co-author is Verlean Hailey – aka Dr. V
8 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dying Patients
Shut In, but not Shut Out

About half-way to my car, I felt someone walking behind me. I stopped and turned around to hear a quivering voice say, “Miss, could I talk to you for a minute?” It was a young man; he looked like he was about 16 years old maybe. I looked in his teary eyes as he began to speak, saying, “Miss, thank you so much for what you said. Mr. See was my grandfather, and I needed to hear what you said about him.” We both began to cry, then, forget “social distancing” I reached out and hugged him and he broke in my arms, saying again, “I needed to hear that!” I told him again, what I had said standing near his grandfather’s coffin. “Be as much of a man as Mr. See was and you will be just as an amazing gift to your family and your community….no words…..just live authentically! Let your living speak for you!” We both let go at the same time. I hurried to my car because a great ugly cry was about to happen for real. As I drove home, thinking deeply about what a gift this man, Mr. See, had been to me and how the Holy Spirit had used Mr. See’s silence, his inability to speak to show me the gravity of a life lived out loud. The Holy Spirit magnified His spirit and it communicated with mine, in his silence.

For the next few weeks, Author Valerie McAllister will feature a co-author from her new book, an Anthology entitled, “The Corona Chronicles”. Support the work of these amazing writers by purchasing a copy of the book. Simply click on the website, www.genword.org and order your copy today



This featured co-author is Verlean Hailey – aka Dr. V
8 Life Lessons I Learned From My Dying Patients
Shut In, but not Shut Out

Mr. See never spoke one single word to me, but as I stood near the Eulogists, which were his son-in-law and his son, I heard them literally say and echo what I heard the Holy Spirit tell me about Mr. See. They went on and on about his life, how his unique, loving but stern ways blessed his children and the whole neighborhood he lived in. He was not a rich man, but he was a saved and proud man. He raised three daughters and they each married no doubt three men that had some of their father’s ways.
I had not asked to take part in the service. In fact, it was the only service that I felt so compelled to be at, even though I would have to show up wearing a MASK. Nevertheless, I really wanted to be at Mr. See’s funeral. Standing there hearing all the things coming from his family members’ mouths that were strangely familiar to me. I now realize that the Holy Spirit was my informant. When the Eulogists asked those gathered if they wanted to share anything, I thought I was literally going to levitate if I didn’t come forward and ask if I could share a few things. The family was very gracious and nodded for me to go on and share. I began to tear up as I shared that Mr. See, without saying one word to me, because he really couldn’t, but the Holy Spirit did the sharing. I began to encourage the family to remember how Mr. See lived before them and endeavor to become a tenth of who he was because His life spoke volumes, with NO words! I told them, He reminded me of the Gospel Song I grew up listening to, “Let the life I live speak for me”. Mind you, this is an all-white family and I am absolutely the only African American at the graveside with them, so I figured they might not know what I was talking about. Ironically, after I spoke, his youngest daughter got up and sang the exact song. I could have done the Holy Dance right there around his casket.