Meditative Paths

This. This. This.

Punishment and consequences are NOT the same.
__________________________

A Punishment is when you want a child to feel suffering,
exclusion,
fear,
or despair,

because they made a "bad choice," or had a "negative behavior."
________________

A Punishment Looks Like--

*taking away toys arbitrarily,

*yelling or insulting them

*time outs with no emotional regulation tools or co-regulation,

*or s***king (please DON'T s***k).
_______________________________

A mindfully chosen consequence is how you help to shape a child's environment,

to prevent danger and
help encourage pro-social behavior and LEARNING .
__________________

A consequence Looks like--

*asking them to hold your hand when you cross a parking lot,
so they won't bolt.

*ensuring you take safe foods,
to the restaurant where they
might not like the options,
so they can practice etiquette and conversation.

*rotating small bins of toys or books,
so there aren't too many to leave
on the floor, when they struggle
to tidy up...
and gently helping them
learn to tidy.
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How were you punished?

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It’s a shift in thinking that really makes a difference. 💙💬

💫 Remember, we can’t punish children into maturity, and while it might be a short-term band-aid to what’s happening on the outside, punishment is never a practical learning tool for teaching kids the skills they need!

💙lori




Photo credit:
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#1 parenting hack if you're struggling to change behavior ➡️ Reframe it!

Look through a new lens. See your child as someone who lacks skills and needs your connection to regulate and upgrade their behavior.

🌈 Kids have bad days too. There's so much pressure to "perform," and "behave" - that they might just be overwhelmed by it all.

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Visit the 🔗 in my bio for tools to learn how to reframe your child's behavior.

We have to remember that the sometimes asking for “easy” in the short-term is not beneficial in the long-term.

When you are faced with new information that contradicts your past parenting choices, you may feel guilt, disappointment, regret, confusion, frustration, uncertainty, or vulnerability. But don’t forget to honor how very brave you are. ❤️

Edit: quote by Jennifer Williams at Your Whole Baby

♥️

L.R.Knost - Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources 💕

We’ve all experienced it: that quiet thought in our mind that says “I’m the adult, I know what’s best.” or “I’m the adult so I know how you’re feeling.” or “I know what you’re thinking.” And what about the more subtle thoughts like “I know you’re just being defiant.” or “I know you're just being willful."

It’s easy, right? We ARE the adults! We DO often know what’s best. We Do have decades more experiences with which to discern the way of wisdom. But when it comes to leading and guiding our children, setting aside the “knower” mindset, and choosing to be “learners” helps us understand our children and their unique needs. It helps us see their perspectives so that we can parent peacefully with compassion and confidence.