Zion Politics

Here's how to play Republican Mad-Libs:
1. For every noun, use "Illegal Immigrants."
2. For every adjective, use "Woke."
3. For every verb, use "Investigate."

1 We believe that governments were instituted of God for the benefit of man; and that he holds men accountable for their acts in relation to them, both in making laws and administering them, for the good and safety of society.

2 We believe that no government can exist in peace, except such laws are framed and held inviolate as will secure to each individual the free exercise of conscience, the right and control of property, and the protection of life.

3 We believe that all governments necessarily require civil officers and magistrates to enforce the laws of the same; and that such as will administer the law in equity and justice should be sought for and upheld by the voice of the people if a republic, or the will of the sovereign.

Doctrine and Covenants 134: 1-3

J. Reuben Clark Jr.: "The only way to keep our freedom is to be on our guard to see that no man, or group of men, gets into a position to take it away from us."

“And Moroni was a strong and a mighty man; he was a man of a perfect understanding⁠; yea, a man that did not delight in bloodshed.”
Alma 48:11

“We are gonna go on offense, not just on defense. Maximum lethality, not tepid legality. Violent effect, not politically correct. We’re gonna raise up warriors, not just defenders.”
- Pete Hegseth

“Blessed are the peacemakers.”
- Jesus

“Now the Nephites were taught to defend themselves against their enemies, even to the shedding of blood if it were necessary; yea, and they were also taught never to give an offense, yea, and never to raise the sword except it were against an enemy, except it were to preserve their lives.”
Alma 48:14

“We are gonna go on offense, not just on defense. Maximum lethality, not tepid legality. Violent effect, not politically correct. We’re gonna raise up warriors, not just defenders.”
- Pete Hegseth

“Blessed are the peacemakers.”
- Jesus

“Therefore, renounce war and proclaim peace.”
Doctrine and Covenants 98:16

“We are gonna go on offense, not just on defense. Maximum lethality, not tepid legality. Violent effect, not politically correct. We’re gonna raise up warriors, not just defenders.”
- Pete Hegseth

“Blessed are the peacemakers.”
- Jesus

“They took their swords, and all the weapons which were used for the shedding of man’s blood, and they did bury them up deep in the earth…. and this they did, vouching and covenanting with God, that rather than shed the blood of their brethren they would give up their own lives; and rather than take away from a brother they would give unto him… they buried the weapons of war⁠, for peace.”
Alma 24:17-19

“We are gonna go on offense, not just on defense. Maximum lethality, not tepid legality. Violent effect, not politically correct. We’re gonna raise up warriors, not just defenders.”
- Pete Hegseth

“Blessed are the peacemakers.”
- Jesus

Trump is to Putin

As...

Buddy is to Santa

Republicans: I vote conservative 'cause I don't want them federal government fellers trying to take over our towns!

Trump: *Takes over a major American City, effectively imposing martial law.*

Republicans: As long as it ain't my town, he can do whatever he wants.

Kristi Noem: "Only liberals make fun of women's appearances."

Trump: *makes fun of the appearance of
* Carly Fiorina
* Heidi Cruz
* Megyn Kelly
* Rosie O'Donnell
* Alicia Machado
* Mika Brzezinski
* Stormy Daniels
* Hillary Clinton
* Gail Collins
* Elizabeth Warren
* And More!