Philosopher's Stone

I am now providing counseling through email exchanges. I can be contacted at:
rduvall655@aol. com. the cost per exchange is $29. No charge for first exchange.

The greatest difficulty in raising children is knowing when to make the transition from a authoritarian, and become a negotiator. The transition is equally difficult for the parent as it is for the teenager. the rebellious years are not due specifically to the teenagers, the parents can be somewhat resistant to re-languishing authority and allowing the teenager more autonomy.

If you wish some help in this area, contact me on Facebook. Making this change from child to teenager, and from authoritarian to a negotiator can be a battleground you can avoid.

Friends / Acquaintances vs. Family:
We of course, generally speaking, know the difference between the two, however, when problem solving is necessary, we some times unconsciously conflate (confuse) the two. In other wards, we tend to treat or give equal consideration to family and friends alike when their has been a falling-out. There is a pit-fall in thinking family and friends can be resolved in the same way. They are not the same, nor are they equal. There are, of course, many differences between family and friends, I'm only addressing two of the most critical aspects that require differentiation or separation in order to underscore the dynamics between the two.

The two critical areas are, familial bond & Family history. These two attribute are commonly attributed to members of the same tribe. (family) NOT FRIENDS. In a dispute with friends or acquaintances you can simply find a new watering hole, and just move on. However, with family, just moving on has the additional complexity of family bond, and history.Just moving-on, as apposed to finding a solution is highly problematic. Why? By now you probably know the answer, when we refuse reconciliation, and reject a family member, we're not only rejecting the family member, we're unwittingly rejecting our own family bond and throwing our history to the wind.While it's true, in some unfortunate situations, one must call an end to a relationship with a family member keep two things in mind: The relationship doesn't end, it just goes from bad to worse. Secondly, the problem doesn't end, it just goes underground. A learning moment has been lost.

When families have serious problems their generally referred to as "dysfunctional." I hate that ward, mostly because it's misleading. Let me explain. People that have family problems like to note that all families have problems, consequently, all families are dysfunctional, to one degree or an other. In other wards, misery likes company. It some how lessens our situation to think all families have problems. While it's true, all families experience problems, this does not mean they are all dysfunctional. One needs to look closer at the ward "dysfunctional," It means: Not operating normally or properly. If it's true that all families have problems, then reason dictates that having problems, is in fact, normal. Conversely, families having problems is not the problem. If having family problems is not the cause of dysfunction, then what is the source of dysfunction in the family? Blaming dysfunction on family problems is a waste of energy. Resolution is the enemy, keeping communication channels open, and humility are indispensable.

When we talk about the foibles of others we speak volumes, when asked to comment on our own shortcomings, it's a brief conversation. :)

Don't settle for less in life, settle for more. To get more out of life it's necessary to communicate, if you don't communicate then you are stuck with whatever you're thinking. It's only through communication that we can reframe issues and put them in a more positive light.

"All mental functions are actually physical." Mental does not exist, it's a metaphor. Example: If your out of a brain, your out of mind.

"Where reason cannot explain, some turn to superstition."

"One of the reason we can criticize others so harshly is because we don't realize our own involvement."

Forgiving the Past:
"We can't forget our negative experiences growing up; how then do we set ourselves free from the past? I think the first step is to realize that the past is not in the past, it's still with us today, in a very real way. We don't have to apologize for who we are as a person, but I think an apology may be in order for those who we have negatively affected. (our children?) Forgiveness is the key. The first person to forgive is ourselves. This has nothing to do with being selfish, unless we forgive ourselves first, we have no forgiveness to give others. We each hold the key to our own freedom."

Why has religion been such a strong hold-over from archaic times? Answer, Because science has yet to give a better explanation of how life originated. Many hold on to religion for the same reasons it began, Fear of the unknown, Fear of death, and our penchant for mystery, superstition and curiosity. It's great entertainment, but highly questionable.Join our discussion on December 8th 2018 at 1:00 pm at Hollywood library, room "A" Portland Oregon. For info call 503-309-0089