DumplingDudez

Portland is gay… but San Francisco is SUPER gay.

Couples who look like us? Everywhere. I love how normal it feels to just be ourselves.

We’re soaking up the last bit of summer, the food, the energy, and all the SF vibes.

Best part? It’s so close to Portland… and when vacation is over, we still get to go home to a city we love.

Portland friends: what’s your favorite quick getaway from PDX?

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Are you really on vacation if you didn’t take the mandatory PDX airport carpet photo?

What’s the little travel ritual you have to do every time?

Airport coffee?
A specific snack?
Window-seat photo?
A Brittany song?
Arriving ridiculously early?

That last one is definitely us.

What’s yours?

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Chih

You probably love Portland 🌸 photos. But will you still love this one?

Every spring, thousands of people come down to the Portland waterfront for the cherry blossoms.

And I get it.

They’re beautiful.

For two weeks, everybody notices them.
Everybody takes pictures.
Everybody posts them.
Everybody talks about how magical they are.

Then the blossoms disappear.

And most people stop paying attention.

Lately, I’ve been intentionally spending more time walking by these trees when they look like this.

Because I think I need this version of them too.

I’m in one of those seasons where I keep asking myself:

WTF do I do next?

What am I building?
Am I moving fast enough?
Should I have figured more out by now?

And I know I’m not the only one who has seasons like that.

Maybe your job changed.
Maybe your relationship changed.
Maybe you moved.
Maybe your kids got older.
Maybe you accomplished something you worked toward for years and then realized…

Okay. Now what?

I think we’re really good at celebrating the obvious blooming seasons.

The promotion.
The launch.
The new relationship.
The big milestone.
The moment where everything looks like it’s working.

But life is mostly made up of the in-between.

The figuring-it-out season.
The rebuilding season.
The resting season.
The “I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m trying” season.

And maybe those seasons aren’t less beautiful.

Maybe we’ve just been trained to notice them less.

That’s why I keep coming back to these trees.

They don’t look like they did in March.

But nothing is wrong with them.

They’re still alive.
Still changing.
Still part of the same story.

And maybe we are too.

Maybe confidence isn’t always knowing what comes next.

Maybe sometimes it’s trusting that this version of you is still worthy of your attention too.

So I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately:

Can we appreciate our life before it becomes the highlight reel?

Can we be grateful for a season even while we’re still trying to understand it?

What’s something ordinary in your life that you want to appreciate a little more today?

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Chih

My brain is really good at finding everything that could go wrong. So for the last year living in Portland, I’ve been teaching it to look for beauty too.

I struggle with anxiety and overthinking.

And for years, there were parts of myself I felt ashamed of.

The insecure part.
The part afraid of abandonment.
The part that questions whether I really belong.
The part that can take one small thing and turn it into a hundred different stories.

For the last year, I’ve been working with my therapist using Internal Family Systems, and one of the biggest things I’m learning is that these parts of me aren’t something I need to hide or get rid of.

They are part of who I am.

They’re often trying to protect me, even when the way they show up can make life harder.

And I want to share this because I spent a long time feeling ashamed of these parts of myself.

But the more I’ve opened up over the years, the more I’ve realized how many people struggle with the same things.

Fear.
Insecurity.
Belonging.
Overthinking.
Trying to figure out what the hell we’re doing with our lives.

And that’s actually something I’ve been thinking about a lot while creating my “WTF Do I Do Next?” workshop.

I never want to position myself as some guru who has life figured out.

Because I don’t.

I’m still doing the work too.

I’m still learning how to sit with uncomfortable parts of myself.
How to stop creating stories about things I don’t know.
How to come back to the present when my brain wants to live ten steps ahead.

One of the simplest things that has helped me is walking.

Not walking to escape my thoughts.

Walking to zoom out.

On the same Portland waterfront walk, I’ll intentionally look for something I haven’t noticed before.

A flower.

A new leaf.

A tiny detail in the structure of a bridge.

The reflection on the water.

The shape of the clouds.

Something beautiful that was probably there the whole time while I was too stuck in my own head to see it.

And I keep coming back to this:

The world didn’t suddenly become more beautiful.
I just slowed down enough to notice it.

It doesn’t make the anxiety disappear.

It just reminds me that whatever is happening inside my head is not the entire world.

There is more here.

And maybe that’s part of what I want “WTF Do I Do Next?” to be about too.

Not having all the answers.

But learning how to listen to ourselves, understand the parts of us we’ve been fighting, zoom out, and notice what else might be possible.

How do you ground yourself when your mind starts overthinking?

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Chih

Imagine being so threatened by someone else’s religion that you get angry at… cheese.

And honestly, this feels very familiar.

The same people who get upset when they see a COEXIST sign.

The same people who get angry when a company or school simply says, “We don’t discriminate. We support diversity and inclusion.”

The same people who somehow feel threatened when Mike and I simply say “husband and husband.”

As if supporting people like me is somehow an attack on your religion.

Because I look different.

Love different.

Married someone of a different race.

Nobody is asking you to change your religion.

Nobody is asking you to change who you love.

Nobody is asking you to give up your beliefs.

But believing something for yourself is very different from believing everyone else should be forced to live by it too.

Someone else being included does not mean something is being taken away from you.

Someone else having rights does not reduce yours.

Someone else being welcomed does not mean you are being rejected.

So if Tillamook making its cheese accessible to more people makes some people angry…

Well, I guess I’ll just have to support Tillamook even harder.

Because inclusion doesn’t threaten me.

People being able to live, love, worship, learn, work, and yes… eat some damn cheese without being treated like they don’t belong?

That’s a world I’m happy to support.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Chih

Apparently people think the vaccine is going to turn me gay now.

Well… how much more gay can I get? Lol

Is there another level, how do I level up?

My vaccine photo has apparently been circulating around anti-vax communities and pages for the last couple of days, and wow… people are ANGRY.

Conspiracy theories. Racist comments. Homophobic comments. Threats. Bots everywhere.

And apparently this is all part of my “left-wing agenda.”

Meanwhile, I posted a picture of myself getting a vaccine.

That’s it.

I didn’t tell anyone what to do.
I didn’t tell anyone what to believe.
I shared a choice I made for myself.

And honestly, this kind of reaction isn’t new to me.

People already love to bash where I live — Portland.

People have opinions about how I live, what I post, what I believe, and the choices I make.

And somehow complete strangers feel deeply invested in all of it.

At first, it’s easy to laugh.

Like… why are you minding my business harder than I am?

But the more I think about it, the more I actually find it sad.

There is just so much anger out there.

And I say that with compassion because I’ve been angry too.

There have been points in my life when I was hurt, scared, disappointed, lost, and looking for somewhere to put all of that emotion.

And sometimes it really was easier to blame the world than to sit with myself.

Easier to judge.
Easier to criticize.
Easier to point outward than to ask, “What is actually happening inside me?”

I’m still learning that.

I’m still learning not to let fear run my life.

Not to let other people’s opinions decide how I feel about myself.

Not to spend my energy fighting battles that were never mine to begin with.

That’s probably why this whole thing hits differently now.

I don’t really want revenge on these people.

I don’t need to convince them.

I don’t even need them to understand me.

I just hope they find whatever part of themselves is underneath all that anger.

I hope they eventually realize that the prison in their head doesn’t have to become their whole life.

Because I’ve built some of those prisons for myself too.

Fear.
Comparison.
Needing approval.
Trying to control things I couldn’t control.
Thinking my life had to look a certain way before I could finally be happy.

And I’m still learning how to walk out of them. I think it is a lifelong practice

So yes, I’ll block the hate.
I’ll protect my people.
I’ll keep my boundaries.

But I don’t want to carry their anger with me.

I’ve worked too hard to find more peace in my own life.

And these days, I’d rather spend my energy on the people I love, the city I call home ( Portland ) , the experiences I’m lucky enough to have, and becoming more of the person I actually want to be.

They can keep minding my business.

I’m finally busy living it.

Chih

The first bite of Hapa Pizza immediately reminded me why Mike and I started Dumpling Dudez.

And I don’t mean that in some big dramatic way.

I mean that feeling when you taste something and you can almost feel the person behind it.

The first time we had Hapa Pizza was actually through Uber Eats with our friend Lynn. She ordered the Phở Pizza and Bánh Mì Pizza to surprise us and we pretty much immediately went:

“OMG… where has this been all our lives?!”

And this time we finally went in person with Dana and Scott, and I think that’s when I really fell in love with the place.

We got to meet Natalie and chef Sam, hear more about their story, and talk about how some of these pizzas came to life.

And Sam’s limited-time Kaprao Pizza???

Blew us away. Again.

But honestly, what stayed with me most wasn’t even just the pizza.

It was the story.

The experimenting.
Taking something familiar and making it your own.
The “let’s try this and see if people love it.”
The way food slowly turns into community.

It reminded me so much of those early Dumpling Dudez days.

We were just making weird colorful dumplings, trying new ideas, laughing a lot, failing a lot, and somehow… people kept showing up.

And I think that’s one of the things I love most about Portland and the places around it.

Yes, the food is incredible.

But sometimes the best part is finding out WHO made it.
Why they made it.
What part of themselves they put into it.

That makes me love the food even more.

So yes… Hapa Pizza gets a BIG recommendation from us.

Have you tried it yet?

And what’s one Portland-area restaurant you love not just because the food is good… but because you love the story behind it too?

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Chih

Flu + COVID shots: because getting sick sounds even less fun than this.

You don’t have to get them if vaccines aren’t your thing.

But the ONE year I skipped my flu shot… I got the flu during a two-week vacation in Vegas and California!

Lesson learned.

So yes… two shots, two Band-Aids, and hopefully one healthier fall.

Who else is joining me and getting your shots?

Chih

Almost 20 years together, and I think I’m finally understanding what long-term love actually asks of us...

As I’ve been building “WTF Do I Do Next?”, I’ve been thinking a lot about my own life… especially my marriage.

My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years.

Austin → Houston → Portland.

We’ve watched each other climb the corporate ladder, burn out, quit jobs, build a business together, close chapters we thought would last forever, move across the country… and now somehow find ourselves asking again:

Okay… WTF do we do next?

And I want to say something that doesn’t get talked about enough:

A long relationship isn’t 20 years of being happy together.

There have been seasons where we felt incredibly connected… and seasons where we barely understood each other.

We’ve hurt each other. Disappointed each other. Changed in ways the other person didn’t always understand. We’ve had moments where the future felt exciting—and moments where it felt really uncertain.

Because the person you married 10 or 20 years ago isn’t going to stay the same.

And neither are you.

I think one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned about love is that you can’t build a relationship around trying to keep someone exactly who they were.

Sometimes love looks like giving each other enough space to become who we’re becoming… while still asking:

Do we want to keep choosing each other in this new chapter?

For us, the answer has continued to be yes.

Not because everything is perfect.

But because after almost 20 years, underneath all the careers, businesses, moves, mistakes, arguments, dreams and reinventions…

I still look at him and think:

I’m really glad I get to do life with you.

And maybe that’s part of what “WTF Do I Do Next?” is really about.

It’s not only careers.

Sometimes the next chapter is about figuring out who you are now—and learning how to love the people beside you as they become someone new too.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

For those of you who have been in a long relationship:

What has love taught you that you wish you understood earlier?

Every Costco trip starts with the same lie: “I’m just grabbing a few things.”

It had actually been a while since I’d been to Costco — shocking, I know — so today I made the pilgrimage from Portland out to my favorite Costco in Hillsboro.

Naturally, the gas station wasn’t working.

Welcome back, Chih.

I walked in thinking I needed just a few things.

$400 later…

My wagon is overflowing, I’m carrying groceries like I’m feeding a family of 14, and somehow I’m still telling myself:

“But the $5 rotisserie chicken saved us SO much money.”

This is Costco math. Spend $400. Save $5. Feel financially responsible.

And apparently food wasn’t enough, because I also walked out with new hoodie AND flannel — so PNW of me!!

Tell me I’m not alone: what do you go into Costco for "just one thing” to buy… and what do you somehow ALWAYS leave with?

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Chih