Chaos Coaching

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 49 years old. Before my diagnosis, I had thought my brain was broken. To cope, I hid my true self from the world, scared of what would happen if I was honest. And because of that, I developed Imposters Syndrome.

I was worried I would never be good enough and that I was inherently flawed. The best I could do was to try to make up the difference.

I’ve struggled with motivation, depression, inability to focus, hyperfocus, feeling stupid, fear, self-criticism, shame, jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none, indecision, self-doubt, memory issues, and half-finished projects.

I always carried around intense anxiety. I wanted others to see the value I could not see in myself. So, I put on a mask that suggested success and confidence. Privately, I was haunted by the fear I would be discovered as a fraud.

I wish I had understood that my brain was a gift so much earlier. It wasn’t broken. Sure, it wasn’t “normal” in the way mainstream education assumes. But as much as I wanted to fit in and be accepted, I also wanted to be extraordinary.

I coach those with Imposter Syndrome and ADHD because, too often, we diminish that which makes us extraordinary. My practice combines neuroscience and narrative structures to help you reshape your life in service of your goals and dreams.

I’ve learned how to rewrite my own story. I’ve learned how to see my not-normal brain for its gifts.
I excel because of hyperfocus, a mind wired for systems thinking, an ability to manage multiple complex facets simultaneously, empathy, orthogonal/creative thought patterns, connecting disparate dots, and an insatiable desire to learn.

I know you are walking a path similar to mine and struggling as I did. I know you also harbor extraordinary gifts you have not yet learned to share. I can and want to help.

Free 30-minute discovery call: https://buff.ly/3rUatnC

When you start thinking, "I'm not good enough."

Before you make an important presentation.

Before you ask for that raise you've earned.

When you feel the urge to judge others.

When you want to give up.

When you wonder whether you should finally go out on your own and chase that dream.

I used to think that what I was lacking was confidence. Or knowledge. Or skill. In truth, I had the knowledge I needed and the skills. I didn't have the confidence, but I could present a good face. And I subscribed to the "fake it until you make it" mantra. It didn't work.

It wasn't confidence I was lacking. It was a belief in myself. Confidence was the exterior evidence. Faking it didn't change the churning that was going on inside. My bedrock attributes were self-doubt and self-criticism.

Until I chose to believe in myself, nothing changed. Sure, I do still battle with self-doubt and self-criticism, but they are no longer my bedrock. A belief in myself is.

I know that saying this is easy enough. But getting there doesn't have to be as hard as you think. I coach on obstacles, goals, and dreams that I have lived through myself. I can help you get there.

I offer a free discovery call so that we can connect, talk about your dreams, and see if coaching is a good fit. https://buff.ly/3rUatnC

I wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted to be the perfect version of myself -- the version of me without the flaws, quirks, and scars of life that set me apart.

I wanted to be "normal."

But trying to be somebody on the outside (perfect) that wasn't how I felt on the inside (flawed) tore me apart. I became witheringly self-critical, feared failure constantly, and was consumed with doubt. Rinse. Repeat. The cycle deepened.

Then, I redefined "normal" for myself. "Normal" was how I felt, not what I saw around me. More so, my not-normal self was my superpower. The point was to stand out, not blend in, as scary as that sounded.

I have made it my career and life’s true joy to help and walk alongside those aching to get out from behind the mask of imposter syndrome so they can bring their full selves into the world. So they can stand out and live big.

I offer a free discovery call. In our conversation, we'll focus on who is behind your mask, what is keeping you from taking it off, and what life could look like without it: https://buff.ly/3rUatnC

It's not perfect.

I used the default font. I didn't center the text. I left it black & white.

I posted it as-is even though every bit of me hated it as-is.

This is my practice of non-perfectionism. Good enough. This is me being vulnerable so I can call to the front and then confront the demons that rise up to wag their finger at me.

This is me being vulnerable so that I can claim back what is mine and so that I can speak more authentically. And trying to stay true to form, this text is my rough draft, written slowly and with intention but not edited.

For too much of my life, I hid behind a mask that was my invented perfect self. Outside, I was confident and successful. I had all the answers. Inside, I was witheringly self-critical, feared failure constantly, and was consumed with doubt.

Sound familiar? I can promise you this: the latter is a lie and a prison we trap ourselves inside. There is a path out of that place. I have made it my career and my life's true joy to help and walk alongside those aching to get out from behind the mask so that they can bring their full selves into the world. And have the impact on their family and friends, their work, and their community that they have always hoped for.

I offer a free discovery call to talk about the impact you want to have and what is keeping you from getting there: https://buff.ly/3rUatnC

What obstacles are keeping you from the impact you want to have on the world?

My good buddy, Jonathan, and I are developing a podcast around new ways of knowing and living a more intentional and fulfilling life.

Here's where I could use some help.

After trashing our first eight recordings, we've arrived at a purpose and plan for Season 1.

We are going to tackle ritual as our central theme. What is ritual? How does it differ from routine? Why is it important? Why should I care?

I am curious to hear if or how you have incorporated ritual into your life. Or if you've wanted to but never succeeded, what has been your biggest obstacle? Why do you love/hate it?

Starting next week, Jonathan and I are going to get into the various definitions, language, and interpretations of ritual as we understand it. Over the next five to six weeks-ish, we'll move into other areas in the web of life and question how they might tie back into ritual.

Fingers crossed, we'll drop the entirety of Season 1 shortly after the New Year. And then we'll get started on Season 2 and a new theme.

Please share with anyone you know who might have a lot to say about ritual. We'd love to hear from them!

I asked myself these questions innumerable times from my teens through my forties. I could not accept, until my fifties, that the answer to all of them was "be more myself."

Well, except NORMAL. $%@! normal.

I spent decades trying to pass for normal when I felt anything but. Now that I've discovered where my center is and I cherish my not-normal brain, I weirdly feel normal. Explain that!

Trying to find your center (authentic) self when you don't know where to look can be frustrating. But the reward is beyond measure. I do not have to try to be any of these things. I can simply be. And the rest just follows.

If you're frustrated trying to get to your authentic self, reach out to me for a discovery call. I would love to hear where you are at and where you'd like to go. https://buff.ly/3rUatnC

Edges are defined as a clear distinction between this and that or here and there.

But as is often the truth, this slowly dissolves into noise until it is no longer recognizable as this and is instead recategorized as that. At some distance from here, somewhere not easily delineated, here gives way to there.

What then of our distinctions between:
- safety and risk,
- comfort and discomfort, and
- stability and growth?

Clear definitions lose their sway on the way from order to disorder or back again, and creativity takes shape. Free of labels, ideas can begin to wander and surprise.

This is where I prefer to be--neither in comfort nor discomfort--but in the playground between where all things are possible.

If you love exploring these ideas, reach out to me for a conversation. I love working with those searching for answers--or questions--and those who see the return from a deep investment in purpose, meaning, and self-discovery. https://buff.ly/3rUatnC

What is getting in the way of that wisdom? How much louder does it need to shout before you hear it? Or maybe, how much quieter do you need to be?



Take the next step with a free discovery call: https://buff.ly/3rUatnC

It means what you make of it.



What will you make of it?
Take the next step with a free discovery call: https://buff.ly/3rUatnC