Gargoyle Steve

About the closest a fake mug shot has gotten to the real Donald J. Trump

I've seldom found anyone who has the same level of Halloween spirit as I do. This ten foot tall skeleton just might. 🎃

(picture was taken a couple days ago)

I haven't posted for a while because Justin won't let me use his phone. Starting to wish I hadn't cussed Murphie Brown out.



What's a guy to do? Apologize? Nah, I found another way: using my body to get what I want.

Shared some wine with the person who found me under the sink, Murphie Brown.

I have a confusing mixture of gratitude and loathing towards Murphie Brown.

They saved me from being alone under the sink until Justin noticed me, but they seem fine with how long Justin DIDN'T notice me and left me to collect dust under the sink and also they will hold hands with Justin but not me.

What's wrong with my hands?

Murphie also allows Justin to treat me like a freak. And push me over on my face and make fun of me.

And Murphie kisses Justin in front of me and I have to watch them make out with my beedy immobile eyes.

F-in' as****es.

Got a new job. I hold this special edition Christmas wine bottle now.

Feeling really f-in' good about my performance so far, I'm f-in' killing my first day on the job.

Many more to come, probably. This won't be like my job holding toilet paper rolls where I got banished to the bathroom cabinet my first week and didn't see sunlight again for two years.

Holding special edition wine is a totally different job than holding toilet paper rolls.