3 Lost Dogs

We're professionals, probably.

Academy members: the new episode, "From 'Stubborn' Dog to Adventure Dog," is here. Check it out on your member dashboard or in your favorite podcast app (if you've set up your private feed yet. Message us for instructions on how to do that).

The Dog World sure puts a lot of pressure on puppy parents, huh?

"Never let bad habits get rewarded!"

"Puppies are ALWAYS LEARNING. MAKE SURE THEY DON'T LEARN BAD THINGS, you INCOMPETENT FOOL."

"Oh, you think that behavior looks cute now? Ha! It won't be cute when he's 80 lbs. Nip it in the bud."

"There are no bad dogs, just bad owners (it's all your fault, basically)."

No wonder so many people come to us in a panic, convinced they've ruined their poor dog forever.

In our professional opinion, the Dog World needs to chill the f**k out.

Consider this:

Puppies are babies. Babies do baby things. And then they... grow up? And stop doing baby things??

I don't know about you, but I almost never s**t my pants or feel the urge to stick my fingers in electrical outlets anymore.

I'm not saying you should just let little Sparky run amuck and wreak havoc on your life. You've still got work to do. But I AM saying that not every puppy "problem" is a problem you need to "solve" RIGHT NOW or ELSE.

Your puppy doesn't need to be perfectly trained (whatever that means) by the time they're five months old or whatever.

They need: someone they can trust no matter what, guidance as they navigate their new world, and a judgment-free space to learn, make messes, and grow up.

You probably need those things too.

If so, you should come hang out with us. Check out Puppy Survival School at the link in our bio.

Ever look back on s**t you said 10+ years ago and cringe?

Me too.

I guess that means we're growing as people or whatever.

This is a clip from the latest episode of our members-only podcast, Off The Leash. In episode 4, "(Almost) Everything Jake Was Wrong About," we're reading from the dog training book I wrote in 2015, which paved the way for the 3 Lost Dogs Academy.

A lot of that book holds up well.

But a lot of it does not.

Let's point and laugh.

(And by that I mean "let's have a nuanced, good-naturedly self-deprecating discussion about how our philosophy has evolved over the last decade." Tomato tomato)

This particular segment is about the second most common reason puppy parents come to us for help: their puppy cries and freaks out whenever they're alone for two seconds.

We're talking about an old training method for teaching puppies to be alone, and why we don't use it with (most) of our students anymore.

But this is just one of many things I was wrong about. Academy members, you can hear all about it in the full episode. Check your dashboard for details.

We get messages like this every day. From folks whose lives have been blown to smithereens by their new furry bundle of "joy."

And everyone says the same things:

"This puppy must be extra difficult, because nothing I've tried works."

"I'm probably screwing everything up but I don't know what else to do."

"I've made too many mistakes and it's too late."

You know what this is like? Plumbing.

I'm not a plumber. I can handle some VERY minor plumbing issues. Unclog my sink, sure. But if anything even slightly complicated were to happen, I'd be totally stumped and pi**ed off and overwhelmed.

Whereas an actual plumber could walk in and fix it in two seconds with their eyes closed.

I'm not a plumber.

You're not a dog trainer.

You see where I'm going with this.

If all this dog training stuff seems complicated, that's because, well. It is.

We're not judging you or blaming you for not knowing how to effortlessly handle problems we've dedicated our careers to. We'd never expect you to figure out all the biting and crying and jumping and potty training drama with a few "5 Quick Puppy Training Tips" reels or whatever.

So rest assured: what feels impossible to you is just another day for us. There's help out there if you want it.

This is what an engaged walk looks like.

Almost every dog training client we speak with says they have the same two problems:

"𝘔𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! 𝘐'𝘮 𝘦𝘹𝘩𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘮 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯?"

and

"𝘔𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘨 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘴!"

Sometimes it's hard for owners to see the connection between both of these challenges - but when we put them side-by-side like this, there's an "aha!" moment.

A dog who's engaged with you doesn't mean they're staring up at you, following your every move blindly.

In fact, if you're struggling to get your dog to pay attention to you when you're out of the house, we can almost guarantee that they've been asking for your attention all day.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝗴, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝘁, 𝘁𝗼𝗼. This whole relationship thing goes both ways.

Look for chances to accept your dog's invitations to play, explore, and work together. Engagement isn't a training exercise - it's a bond.

Your life has basically become nothing but saying "no."

𝘕𝘰 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘕𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨!

𝘕𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦!

𝘕𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘨! 𝘕𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘳!

𝘕𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘴!

When you got this pup, you dreamed of snuggling on the couch and going on adventures. Instead, you feel like you're babysitting a tiny demon.

You 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 to love this dog. But you're exhausted.

And the more you try to train them, the more they tune you out. Or worse - seem to dislike you.

I went through that with my first puppy, Friday.

She preferred literally everyone else in the house because they got to be the “fun” people. They never had to tell her no.

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝗜’𝗱 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻:

It doesn’t have to be like this.

Training should build the relationship, not strain it.

If it feels like you're always the bad guy, you've probably been taught a version of training that puts you and your dog on opposite teams. (“Don’t let bad behavior get rewarded,” etc)

But you can turn this around.

You just need an approach that puts you and Sparky on the same team.

𝗧𝗼 𝗿𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝘂𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘁:

✅ Prevent problems instead of just reacting to them, so you’re not forced to always be The Person Who Says No

✅ Meet their enrichment needs (not just exercise) in a way that naturally leads to good behavior.

✅ Address 𝘸𝘩𝘺 they’re doing the “bad” behavior (instead of slapping random bandaids on the problem)

✅ Communicate clearly so they understand you (I’m not talking about teaching more obedience commands)

✅ Become The Provider of Good Things so they actually WANT to listen to you

⬆️ That's the short version of the strategy we teach in Puppy Survival School.

It's how our members go from "WHAT WAS I THINKING" to "we've got this!"

If you're sick of being the villain in your own puppy story, come see what it feels like to be the hero instead. See Puppy Survival School at the bio link.

"My puppy only bites my partner/child/housemate like that.'

We hear that a lot.

There are a few possible reasons for this phenomenon. Here, Erin explains one of the most common but least understood reasons.

This clip is a small excerpt from one of our live group coaching sessions inside the Academy. The full, hour-long replay is available for members to watch now.

Most of this session basically turned into a nice puppy support group meeting, where we (and a few of our "veteran" puppy parent members) gave new members some guidance on taming their little landsharks.

We also covered:

✅ Healthy ways to channel puppy biting instead of trying to suppress it

✅ How to start building a better relationship between the puppy and the person they chew on the most

✅ Increasing crate duration with a puppy

✅ How to handle puppy witching hour

Members, check out the full video on your dashboard.