ICANcer

‼️‼️‼️Cancer is a money eating machine‼️‼️‼️
N💰💰m, n💰💰m, like the Cookie Monster with cookies.

SIX months after my diagnosis, our savings account had been completely emptied. $25,000 gone. With deductibles, copays, coinsurance, time off work, traveling for second opinions, hotels, gas, food while out of town, and the list goes on, and on….

I felt a huge burden of guilt, as I take care of our families finances. Was I going to bankrupt our family trying to stay alive? Where we going to lose what we had worked very hard for all our adult lives? Then came the thoughts of being a burden on my family. Cancer is just as much a mind game as it is a physical one.

They of course didn’t see it that way but you couldn’t tell me that. One of my family members offered to do a GoFundMe which I said no to, but they did it anyway. A close friend offered to to a raffle and I said no to that as well, but she quietly started collecting items anyway.

When you are used to being the one who helps people and don’t want to take your family/friends money it seems wrong. However a pastor said to me, by letting them help you, when they have no control of what you are going through, that is being blessing to them.

I had never thought of it like that. I was thankful both people didn’t listen to me and were able to help raise funds for our family. The money raised went straight to my medical bills and whatever was needed.

Cancer humbles you in many ways.

The dreaded PET Scan.
You don’t get to bring anyone back with you for obvious reasons so this time I asked if I could take pictures 🌠to show my family what’s going on in those couple of hours ⏳.

I get my own room with a door 🚪 that is about a foot thick. My radiation injection comes in this little tackle box looking thing that weighs at least 10 pounds. The injection 💉is surrounded by a metal sleeve. The radiation is then put into my port.
During the hour wait I get SUPER SIZED flushing, hot 🔥flashes, instant 🧠headache and nausea 🤮

These boughts of general yuckyness happen throughout the rest of the day. Lucky me.

After that exciting - said no one ever- 60 minutes, I then get scanned for ⏰ 45 minutes. Whatever 💡 ‘lights’ up can potentially be cancer.

I then get my ‘get out of 👮jail free note’ directed to any providers that come into contact with me to wear protective 🧤gear. I am literally radioactive. I have to avoid pregnant 🫄 women, as I could unintentionally harm the unborn baby. After 4 hours I no longer have to show my ‘hall pass’.

Then we wait… ⏲️⏲️⏲️⏲️

↪️ I don’t get a normal PetScan, I get a specialized one to identify 🔎my specific type of rare tumors.

Here is my clinical notes showing medical technical terms:

NUCLEAR MEDICINE DETECTNET SCAN-SKULL BASE TO THIGHS

HISTORY:Small bowel neuroendocrine tumor to assess response to therapy

EXAMINATION: 5.4 mCi Copper64 Dotatate was administered via chest port. Approximately 60 minutes later, PET imaging was then performed from skull base through the proximal thighs. Corresponding volumetric CT imaging was performed for the purposes of attenuation correction and tumor localization.

These results are compared to 🗓️previous Pet Scans looking for changes to see if my cancer is responding to treatment or has my cancer worsen⁉️

This is Eden, my hair dresser. She has been with me, during my hair loss, which is a side effect of my cancer injection.

Eden is kind with her words and never makes me feel bad, although I often have tears streaming down my face when we talk about it. I've always loved my hair, which is completely superficial when fighting cancer. I have to keep things in perspective.

Now when I brush it or run my fingers through it, there is quite a bit of hair coming out. My daughter even pointed out a balding spot at the front of my hairline. I have been luckier than most as it's failing out in multiple strands not in clumps.

This last haircut Eden and I spoke a for a few minutes about what's best overall to try and keep the hair I have. She made a great point! The less it's touched or 'physically bothered' the less likely it will come out!! I'm always putting my hair in a ponytail so we decided to go short. It's summer so hopefully the short do will keep me from reaching for a ponytail holder.

Thank you Eden for your love and support through this journey with me. I love ya lots 💓💓

It takes a team of medical professionals to handle my complex treatment. I’ve been really thankful some of those needs are now being meet in my home for the first time in 3.9 years!!
These are goals I’ve been work on for over a year & half so I’m very excited for these 2 ladies.

👩‍⚕️On the left is Stacy who is my Home Health Physcial Therapist. Typically a physical therapist would do an initial assessment then a physical therapy assistant would see me for the duration of my therapy. After reviewing my files, Stacy told me she would be the one treating me after reviewing my extremely lengthy medical records. She makes it a point to make me feel comfortable. Stacy has a vast knowledge that she is able to draw upon that has helped me with some untraditional aids.
It helps that we have similar sense of humor, as well. We can laugh while doing therapy which doesn’t make therapy so intense.

😩To the right is Tracy, my Pentac Pain Pump Nurse. Tracy normally comes to the house about every 2 months to refill my pain pump with meds. It’s a very complicated task but but she makes it look easy. She is kind and patient with me. The only way to re/fill the pump is via needle and lets
just say it doesn’t tickle.

If it weren’t for these ladies coming to my house, these would be additional trips to the cancer which means mo’money mo’money.

I’ve always been adventurous, fly by the seat of my pants explorer. I think that is one cruel thing for me about cancer. I can’t just leave the house anymore without putting thought major thought into it.

Gone are the days of just hopping in the car on a whim & ending up wherever the road takes me.
I need my pain pump, my heart monitor - with those 2 things specifically I need my power pack depending how long I’ll be gone. I have to have my emergency medication & blah blah blah!

If I’m going on an overnight trip I have to pack day & night time medications. Autopap for my heart. Am I going to be waking long distances? I can’t do that. Do I need my wheelchair? Then do need my indoor walker, outdoor walker and cane depending on my stability needs.

Sometimes I feel like I am running a medical equipment store out of my house. It is overwhelming most days.

Through the grace of God I am still here, able to use this lifesaving equipment, in some instances. I count my blessings because they are plentiful!

I have an intrathecal pain pump, which is surgically placed device that delivers medication directly to the fluid surrounding your spinal cord made by Medtronic.
I can also give myself extra boluses of medication using the handheld communicator and Personal Therapy Manager. Pentec is the agency that comes to my home to makes any changes my doctor makes.
Pentec has a financial assistance program to help offset the cost. Attached is the form if you happen to use it or need it.

Firefighter Cancer Support Group

My tribe has been spoiling me lately, but yet they always do. From praying for me, to simple texts & phone calls, letting me vent and cry to crying with me. Cancer is hard. REALLY really hard. My experience has been a never ending rollercoaster waiting for the other shoe to drop.
💓Yet they still pray for me…they still support me…and love me…even when I am a complete mess.

Jeremiah 29:11, reads: "For I know the plans / have for you," declares the Lord,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."