Miller Law Group

When people think of divorce, they usually think the most important question is “Who gets the house?” But there’s another aspect that can be much more important: health insurance.

If you've relied on your spouse’s employer-sponsored healthcare, losing that coverage before you are eligible for Medicare at 65 can be financially devastating. A single medical emergency without adequate coverage can quickly lead to immense debt when you no longer have the career runway to easily re-earn those financial losses.

But there are practical solutions when both spouses are willing to work together. In a collaborative process, we prioritize securing each party’s finances first. We can calmly negotiate terms that cover COBRA premiums, structure support to specifically offset insurance costs, or structure legal filings to bridge the gap to Medicare safely. It’s about securing your long-term physical and financial well-being.

Grey Divorce in New York & Connecticut | Miller Law Group Considering a grey divorce in New York or Connecticut? Learn how to protect your assets, retirement, and health insurance. Contact Miller Law Group...

❌️ MISCONCEPTION: Divorcing later in life guarantees financial ruin and the loss of your retirement.

👉️ REALITY: While the timeline to rebuild assets is shorter, a collaborative divorce allows for creative, mutually beneficial financial restructuring. With mediation, you can protect your healthcare, preserve your nest egg, and transition with confidence.

I speak with spouses going through divorce in their late fifties and sixties every single week. When you are decades into your career, the financial conversation surrounding a “grey divorce” is fundamentally different than it is for younger couples.

Often, the biggest source of anxiety I hear is not about who is right or wrong or who will “win” the divorce. Rather, it is about what happens to their future healthcare and retirement. I am often asked: “Will I lose access to my spouse’s health insurance?” “How can I deal with a medical emergency if I am on a fixed income?”, “How can we afford to live separately if we divide the 401(k) or pension in half? Will there be enough to live comfortably for the rest of our lives?”

These are important questions that deserve thorough answers. However, finding a solution does not require a knives-out legal battle. In fact, traditional divorce litigation is often funded by the very same resources you are trying to preserve. It’s all too common for divorcing spouses to spend months or years in court trying to “win”...only to end up losing their retirement.

By choosing a collaborative, mediation-first path, we can all sit down and look at your financial realities together. This avoids time-consuming, expensive courtroom litigation and can help both parties get a solution that works for them.

For example, mediation often results in structured agreements that safely account for newly fixed incomes, Medicare timelines, COBRA costs, and long-term care needs. This can allow both you and your spouse to exit mediation without having an existential fear over what happens next.

If you're contemplating a grey divorce and want to talk through what your specific financial picture might look like, I'd welcome the conversation. Feel free to reach out to our team at (914) 738-7766, or visit our contact page to get in touch.

Grey Divorce in New York & Connecticut | Miller Law Group Considering a grey divorce in New York or Connecticut? Learn how to protect your assets, retirement, and health insurance. Contact Miller Law Group...

Many spouses bring up mediation for the first time by leading with how much money it will save. It’s a reasonable place to start. It’s also usually the wrong one.

Mediation is typically less expensive than a litigated divorce, and it moves faster. But to a spouse who already feels ambushed, “This will save money” can come across as “I’ve been running the numbers on our marriage without you.” Now you’re negotiating before either of you has agreed to negotiate. The discussion ends before it ever really starts.

Lead with control instead. In mediation, the two of you decide how your assets are divided and how you will co-parent. In court, those decisions belong to a judge who will know your family for an afternoon. When you frame it as taking control, it tends to reach the spouse who is most afraid of losing their footing — often the person resisting hardest.

Divorce Mediation Services in NY & CT | Miller Law Group Resolve divorce peacefully with Miller Law's NY & CT mediation, saving time, cost and conflict. Call today to schedule your mediation consultation.

❌️ MISCONCEPTION: If your spouse gets defensive when you raise the idea, mediation is off the table.

👉️ REALITY: Defensiveness is usually a reaction to being handed a decision, not a rejection of the process. Given time and better information, resistant spouses often become the ones most committed to staying out of court.

The divorce conversation tends to happen somewhere ordinary, at the end of a normal day, when neither person wants to be the one to say the word out loud. One of you has been preparing for months. The other hasn’t. So the first time mediation comes up, it goes badly, and neither of you brings it up again.

In my experience, that isn’t the same as a no. Defensiveness at the start isn’t a verdict on mediation. It’s a reaction to being handed a decision. The spouse who didn’t initiate the divorce is often hearing a plan that already has a label, a process, and sometimes a date on the calendar. Almost anyone would push back on that.

What I usually suggest is slowing the whole thing down. Mediation doesn’t have to be presented as a decision already made. It can be a question the two of you are still answering. It also helps to talk about what mediation protects. Your privacy. Your ability to decide how your children are parented and your assets are divided. A working relationship you will likely need for years.

Neither New York nor Connecticut requires proof of wrongdoing to end a marriage. That surprises people, and it matters here. A spouse bracing to be blamed is often bracing for a fight that no longer has to happen, and saying so out loud can help lower the temperature of everything that follows.

None of this means every situation belongs in mediation. Some don’t, and I’ll tell you honestly when that’s the case. There is no rush, but there’s real value in understanding your options before you decide.

If you’re considering mediation and not sure where to begin, you’re welcome to reach out to our team at (914) 738-7766 or through our contact page to schedule a conversation.

Contact Miller Law | NY & CT Divorce Lawyers Contact Miller Law's New York & Connecticut divorce attorneys for compassionate family law guidance. Message or call us today to schedule a consult...

Here's something I wish more people knew before they start dividing assets: a bonus and an RSU grant that look identical on paper can be treated very differently in a divorce.

Why? Timing. A cash bonus paid out during the marriage is usually straightforward. An equity grant awarded during the marriage but vested well after the divorce is finalized is a different story. It requires figuring out what portion reflects work already done versus work an employee hasn't performed yet. New York courts typically use a time-based approach to make that split fair.

The takeaway: don't assume "not vested yet" means "not on the table." And don't assume it's automatically 50/50, either. These assets deserve a real look, ideally with both spouses working from the same accurate picture.

Unvested RSUs in Divorce in New York | Miller Law Learn how unvested RSUs and performance shares are divided in New York divorce cases. Protect your equity compensation with Miller Law Group. Contact us today.

❌️ MISCONCEPTION: "My RSUs vest after the divorce, so they're not marital property."

👉️ REALITY: New York courts often look at when the compensation was earned — not just when it vests. Stock granted during the marriage can still count as a shared asset, even if it pays out later.

I've sat across the table from a lot of executives going through divorce, and there's one thing almost all of them say at some point: "My compensation isn't simple. My paycheck is only part of the picture."

They're right. RSUs, bonuses, deferred comp aren't line items you can just split down the middle, then call it a day. A grant of stock might have been awarded during the marriage but not vest until years after a divorce is final. A bonus might be tied to work performed last year but paid out next spring. Deferred compensation might not be accessible for a decade. Figuring out what's "marital" and what isn't takes real analysis, not a guess.

In New York, courts generally look at when the compensation was earned, not just when it lands in a bank account. Say part of an RSU grant reflects work you did during the marriage, but the shares don't actually vest until two years after the divorce is final. That portion can still count as marital property. The part tied to work you haven't done yet usually doesn't. Sorting out where that line falls means looking at grant dates, vesting schedules, and what the award was actually compensating for. I've seen mediation handle exactly this kind of complexity well, because both people are working from the same facts instead of dueling interpretations of them.

When both people have accurate information and a shared understanding of how these assets work, they can make thoughtful, forward-looking decisions — instead of leaving it to a courtroom to sort out years of compensation history.

If executive compensation is part of your situation, you don't have to untangle it alone. I'd welcome the chance to talk it through, so feel free to reach out to our team when you're ready.

Contact Miller Law | NY & CT Divorce Lawyers Contact Miller Law's New York & Connecticut divorce attorneys for compassionate family law guidance. Message or call us today to schedule a consultation.

Long before divorce ever comes up, one quiet habit does a lot to protect a business. Keeping its money and your household money separate is essential.

When you run personal expenses through the company, skip paying yourself a real salary, or let business and family funds blend together, the line between what’s yours and what’s shared starts to blur. In New York, that blurring can pull more of a business into the marital pot than you’d expect.

The fix isn’t dramatic. Pay yourself a fair, regular salary. Keep clean books. Don’t fund the household straight from the business account. None of this is about hiding anything. It’s about being able to show, clearly and honestly, what belongs where.

Good records are surprisingly powerful. They make a fair outcome easier for everyone.

If you’d like a second set of eyes on how your business is structured, we’re happy to talk it through. You can reach us at (914) 738-7766 or through our contact page.

Contact Miller Law | NY & CT Divorce Lawyers Contact Miller Law's New York & Connecticut divorce attorneys for compassionate family law guidance. Message or call us today to schedule a consultation.