Vanity Sleeps

Friday Song Highlight #14: I Can Dig My Own Grave

Sometimes inspiration sparks in the most random places. I was walking around the Art Institute of Chicago, marvelling at a sarcophagus in the Egyptian exhibit, and I started wondering: What if the person inside comes back to life and breaks out? What if it’s not a coffin, but a cocoon?

I’d had the line "I can dig my own grave" sitting in a notebook for years. When it finally married up with that mummy imagery, the song clicked. The idea hiding throughout here is telling an enemy that you can’t actually hurt me, because I can hurt myself well enough. It's about taking the shovel out of someone else's hands because you've already done the digging.

https://open.spotify.com/track/22RXbrIrPUpIMGUreHHLKq?si=03aae7cab5f04a10

You wear your shame out like a badge upon your vest
Sippin' Dom Perignon from a brown paper sack
And you're look at me thinkin' I should be impressed
As you’re cradling the knife you plan to bury deep inside of my chest
I didn't lose my faith; my faith lost me
If every scar's a story, you wrote my whole anthology

We'll bury the hatchet in the sarcophagus in which I'll lay
I don’t need your help; I can dig my own grave

You point your crooked finger, so you can cast the blame
You keep snuffing candles out, but you still end up in flames
So you can save your prayers for someone needin' saved
If you ain't keepin' score, you already lost the game
I didn't break your heart, your heart broke me
Remember it's the victors who write the history

We'll bury the hatchet in the sarcophagus in which I'll lay
It's more like a chrysalis, I’ll be lying there in wait
I don’t need your help; I can dig my own grave
You can keep your shovel, man, I can dig my own damn grave

I Can Dig My Own Grave Vanity Sleeps · Through the Keyhole · Song · 2026

Friday song highlight #13: DUI Bike Mike
This song was born from a text message. I was driving my kids to school in Morton when I saw someone who looked exactly like my friend Donovan (who plays drums on this track) riding a bike. Donovan doesn't live in town, so I texted him about his doppelgänger. He joked back: "That actually was me. I got a DUI. You can call me DUI Bike Mike."

The song took off from there. People are sometimes disappointed to find out "Mike" isn't a real person, but in a way, he is. He’s an amalgamation of three different guys I’ve known, and I think everyone has someone like "Mike" in their life. He may not be a factual character, but he's still a true character.

https://open.spotify.com/track/5ukGZQILodgaqGshFZSiaT?si=08c06cca4f544466

They called him DUI Bike Mike
Since he was 25
But he never lost his license
Never even learned to drive
He biked 'cause he was too afraid
to get behind the wheel
But he never wore a helmet
It baffles me still

Mike was a not a quiet guy,
no fan of subtlety
He'd burst in like the Kool-Aid Man,
and say "The mob is out to get me."
He wasn't really paranoid,
just watched too much TV
And anything you'd tell him
he was bound to believe

So engrossed with the story
that anybody tells
If you said the sky was falling,
He'd think it already fell
But the tales that really get me are the ones he'd tell himself
I wonder how he’s doing now
(I really hope he’s doing well; I wonder what he’s doing now)

He only spoke in cursive
Like a Tarantino film
Walking in italics
His world at a tilt
And nothing seemed to phase him
Though it never went his way
He wore his heart out on his sleeve,
with a smile on his face

We lost touch a while ago
Life led us separate ways
I look him up every year or so
It's like he's been erased
He dreamed to move to Hollywood
and surf out his days
I hope he finally made it,
and is catching those waves

Had a great time playing at Tres Rojas Winery yesterday with Ryan Massey, Matt Cobillas, Ghanay Moreau, and James Herr Acoustic with special guests Sarah Marie Dillard and Dope Soul ! What an honor to be featured amonst such a talented slate of artists!

Friday song highlight #12: Sanctuary

This song has a bit of a different history than the others. It was originally recorded as a live take for a St. Jude benefit compilation, (https://smallworldconnections-worshipbandsforstjude.bandcamp.com/album/potters-wheel-songcraft-for-st-jude-from-one-accord-christian-songwriting-community) but I needed one more song to fill out the album and wanted to give this one the "full band" treatment.

Technically, it’s not a full band, becuase I played all the instruments myself, but it allowed me to build the arrangement exactly how I heard it. Notably, this is the only track on either of the albums where I play the piano.

What matters most to me about this song is the idea of simply sitting with someone exactly where they are. It’s about empathizing with their sadness without trying to "fix" it immediately, and then being there to celebrate the eventual joy when they’re ready to fly again.

https://open.spotify.com/track/040ThjvMqNLu1nlFXBO3q6?si=132c401410084eed

Open your eyes
you will see me there
standing by to take you in
You don't have to cry,
but if you do, my dear,
you'll find me waiting to wipe away your tears

I'll be your sanctuary
I'll be your shelter from the storm
If you are here with me,
I'll be your comfort through this cold and lonely (godforsaken) world

I know the pain
I can see in your eyes
Heaven knows how I've been there
Some day
you will rise
I'll carry you 'til you can walk again

And when you're able to smile,
I'll be smiling with you.
And when you take off to fly,
I'll be right up there with you

Sanctuary Vanity Sleeps · Through the Keyhole · Song · 2026

Friday song highlight #11: Schadenfreude (onto Through the Keyhole)

The Germans have such great words for things we don’t have in English. "Schadenfreude" is the experience of taking joy in someone else's misfortune.

I wrote this song about two very different moments where that feeling was "supposed" to show up. The first and third verses are about the celebration in the streets after the death of Bin Laden. No matter how you felt about him as an individual, it didn't sit right with me celebrating someone meeting a violent end, even if it was well-deserved.

The second verse is about seeing the obituary of someone from my past who had caused a lot of wreckage in my life. Two years prior, I might have felt a sense of "justice" or satisfaction that he was gone. But when I actually saw the obit, I realized I didn't feel anything about it. I guess that’s what finally moving on actually feels like. Not a celebration, just a hollow silence.

https://open.spotify.com/track/2jNh7KYxEjxGXnp2cO4c8w?si=abca4295de9449b2

They're singing in the streets
It's a kind of celebration
It don't sit right with me
I cannot help the thought
Two wrongs don't make a right, no matter how the math works
And Jesus weeps

I saw you last week
In the back of the paper
I hoped I'd never see
Your face or hear your name
You passed away so young, you left behind your dad and mom
And Jesus weeps
I don't feel a goddamn thing

I don't care for justice
When I think about what you've done
Maybe mercy's greater
Or maybe I've just moved on

I cannot believe
This elation I am hearing
There's a side we'll never see
A past we cannot know
Even my worst enemy still deserves his dignity
And Jesus weeps

Schadenfreude Vanity Sleeps · Through the Keyhole · Song · 2026

Today is Bandcamp Friday, where fees are waived so all money goes directly to the artist. If you haven't bought Vanity Sleeps or Through the Keyhole, you can get vinyl or CD here: vanitysleeps.bandcamp.com

Friday song highlight #10: Not Too Far Gone

This is the final track on the debut album and it’s usually my closer when I play live. It’s a song about rebuilding after divorce, and realizing that I'm not "starting over" but am building anew on top of the ruins.

I came up with the line "connect the dots out of order" while out on a run. It just popped into my head, and I had to keep repeating it to myself like a mantra so I wouldn't forget it before I got back home to write it down.

Musically, this is one of the few songs where I actually wrote out the specific vocal harmonies instead of letting the singers find their own path. I had a very specific sound in mind for this resolution.

As for "Babylon" in the chorus—it doesn't have a literal meaning. I just liked the way it sounded. To me, it’s a way of saying, "Cruel world, you can't keep me down. I won’t surrender to these circumstances." I whisper "goodnight" at the very end. It seemed like the only way to finish it.

https://open.spotify.com/track/30RXnBNjFry0YhgSFQ5Kk1?si=ccc9950f8c4542c5

Not Too Far Gone

I noticed that the sun is sinking lower,
and I'm growing far too old to start over
I'll stick with what I have but make a better plan.
Still walking, though I move a little slower.

They tell me that the days are getting shorter,
so I'll connect the dots out of order,
place them on a map, and trace myself a path.
That'll be my way going forward.

Oh Babylon,
Oh I'll carry on
My day's not done
I'm not too far gone.

I know you're not that into lullabies,
but maybe I'd convince you if I tried.
Would it be so wrong if I wrote another song,
I don't know how else to say 'goodnight'

Not Too Far Gone Vanity Sleeps · Vanity Sleeps · Song · 2026

Friday song highlight #9: Teach Us to Number Our Days

This is the oldest song on the album. I wrote it about 10 or 11 years ago for a church. The text is adapted from Psalm 90. I probably should have given Moses credit as a co-writer.

I think it fits perfectly as the penultimate track, giving us pause to consider the ephemeral nature of life before hitting the final resolution.

When I first wrote this, it had a saxophone solo. But for this recording, I felt the organ already covered those frequencies, so I went with a banjo instead. It felt more apropos for the "Vanity Sleeps" sound.

https://open.spotify.com/track/2uz1iJmSnKMh8RXR7ThMzF?si=8257c69cf3204d47

You've been our home,
dwelling place,
ere the mountains formed
ere the world made
You turn us to dust,
whence we came.
As a dream when we wake,
we're swept away, swept away, swept away

Teach us to number our days.
Our fast, fleeting lives
Teach us to number our days.
May we be wise.

We try to hide
our wicked ways
under your light
we have no shade.
Our days shall pass
Our years shall fade
As a whisper in the wind,
we'll fly away, fly away, fly away

Teach Us to Number Our Days Vanity Sleeps · Vanity Sleeps · Song · 2026

Friday #8: Undelivered Flowers

This is a true story, unfortunately. 🤦‍♂️

I’m a huge Elliott Smith fan (hence recording this whole project on cassette) and he’s influenced me maybe more than any other artist (props to Iron & Wine, too). This is probably my most overtly Elliott-inspired song, from the picking intro through to the minor iv chords. If "Angeles" and "Somebody That I Used to Know" are sister songs, this is their illegitimate sister from another mister.

In contrast to "I'm Convinced," this one pairs sad, unfortunate lyrics with upbeat, happy music. Thank goodness I can laugh at myself!

https://open.spotify.com/track/1BB6ea2hYUy82aCAG0X6jL?si=b5b34c2cc76047cc

I meant to see you when you got done with your show
Thought enough time had elapsed
But then my old wounds, they opened up again
I couldn't even say "hello"
Stood by the stage door, looking at my feet
Now there's undelivered flowers in my passenger seat

You called me Tuesday, and I thought we were okay
You told me we would meet again
Just long lost lovers who'd gone their separate ways
Still hoping to be friends
You said you loved me, but you'd had too much to drink
Now there's undelivered flowers in my passenger seat

What do you think you're doing?
Spinning those wishful tales
Who do you think you're fooling?
That ship's already sailed

Without a word, you walked back in to change your clothes,
I knew my chance had passed
So all alone, I sauntered back toward my car
disappointed in myself
I’ll write a new song, and try to stay upbeat
But there’s undelivered flowers in my passenger seat

Undelivered Flowers Vanity Sleeps · Vanity Sleeps · Song · 2026