Carol Rivest Memorial Foundation

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. On this last day of May, let’s take a moment to not only check in on our own mental well-being, but also check in on others.

Many people struggle in silence, feeling as though no one will understand their pain. Society often pushes mental health struggles into the background, much like it has done with domestic violence. Both can exist behind closed doors, hidden from view, while individuals and families suffer in silence.

I know this because I lived in one of those homes. There was chaos, instability, and fear. The effects leave lifelong scars and pain.

Some people may not understand. Others may minimize those experiences by saying, “That’s just how it was back then,” or, “He was upset and just needed time to cool off.” Or in response to depression, “ snap out of it.” Thankfully, there are also people who recognize the signs of mental health struggles and domestic violence and ask, “How can I help?” or “What do you need?”

Those simple questions can make all the difference.

Whether you have experienced mental health challenges, domestic violence, both, or neither, checking in on someone can go a long way. A kind word, a phone call, a text message, or simply listening can remind someone they are not alone.

So today, I ask you:

How are you?

If you or someone you know needs support:

• Call or text 988 for the 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7.

• Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788 for the National Domestic Violence Hotline, available 24/7.

You do not have to face difficult times alone. Help is available.

I found an old journal from the late 90’s — written by a younger version of myself, a divorced mother raising two children I loved with all my being. I had recently ended a relationship with a toxic man.

The first few pages were filled with strength and determination. I wrote that I would never allow him to treat me that way again. But as I kept reading, the tone slowly changed. Beneath the strong words was fear — fear of being alone, fear of not being loved, fear that somehow I wasn’t enough on my own.

One sentence stopped me in my tracks: “Everyone thinks I need to be with someone.”

Why didn’t I realize then that I was already enough? That the weekends my children were with their father could have been filled with books, healthy friendships, hobbies, peace, and self-discovery?

Instead, I was slowly weakened by persistent phone calls, flowers sent to my work, flattery, promises of love, promises of family life, and the hope that things would somehow be different. I took him back that time, only to end the relationship again several months later.

Reading those pages today saddened me, but it also reminded me of how far I have come.

Through hard work, going back to school, raising and supporting my children on my own until they were grown, and learning to value myself, I became strong in ways that younger woman could not yet imagine.

Today, I no longer fear being alone. I understand that self-love is not loneliness. It is freedom, peace, and knowing your worth without needing someone else to define it.

Join us this Tuesday ❤️

Please say her name: Emma Pasterczyk!
Another young woman taken too soon at the hands of her spouse. When will people care enough to make a difference? Many victims live in silence, more afraid of judgement than the fear of abuse. Be aware, make a change, be there and be kind. RIP Emma Pasterczyk. Our heartfelt condolences to all who knew and loved Emma. Especially her daughter.