Christie Ferrari

What’s worse, being left out or expecting to be left out & doing it for them? Comment HANDLE IT for access to all of my resources, scripts, and tips.

There’s a difference between being left out and leaving yourself out first. Being left out is real. It’s finding out about the side group chat you’re not part of. Seeing photos of all your friends at an event that you weren’t invited to. It’s the “you should’ve come” but no one invited you or even “oh we thought you were busy.”

But after enough of that? Don’t be surprised when you start leaving yourself out. You stop feeling wanted. You convince yourself not to go even when you are invited. Or you do go but you’re not fully present.

Your fear is starting to make your decisions for you. You’re leaving before anyone gets the chance to leave you out again.

Ask yourself: are you the one being left out or have you started leaving first?

Comment PLAN if you’d like to learn how to reset your reputation before the next school year. You don’t have to carry around a reputation that someone else’s gossip, assumptions, and first impressions created for you. I’ll message you how you can access my member’s area.

As for the 4 things mean girl moms do at the end of the school year that you weren’t supposed to notice:

They invite everyone to the end of year party (except for you) & the way you find out about it is on social media.

Or you are invited & they avoid eye contact with you the entire time, acting like they’ve never met you.

No one also seems to want to sit next to you.

Then the woman that ignored you all year says “we have to do a playdate this summer!” She’s said it before & you know it’ll never happen because the plan was never the point.

Comment Yes, if you agree & tag the friend you actually trust with the real stuff ❤️

All everyone ever wants to talk about is everyone & I just I don’t want to talk about anyone.

Women are socialized to gossip & sometimes when they don’t know what to say, they’ll gossip. It’s a fast way to bonding because it allows you to be vulnerable but instead of sharing about themselves, they share about other people.

So before you tell someone something ask yourself: Are you gossiping about yourself right now? Because whatever you just said, she’s going to go tell someone else. So be careful who you open up to.

Conversation is from the with & Comment Podcast for a link to watch the whole episode.

Comment Seen for tips & scripts on what to do next.

Trigger warning: If a mom doesn’t like you, there’s a good chance she’s not going to let her child get close to yours either. Or if they were close she’s going to tell them to stop playing.

And no, it’s not always because your child did something wrong. It’s bc she doesn’t like you. Why? Most of the time she can’t even name it.

But out of nowhere, she’s too busy for play dates or she’ll say the kids just aren’t that close anymore (when they’re totally fine). She’s also telling her child why would you play or sit with them?

So when she pulls away, the kids start pulling away. They’ll even start telling their other friends to not play with your child. That’s how exclusion starts. And listen, you do NOT have to like every parent. But when you allow that to impact innocent kids who just wanted to play. You’re teaching your child who gets included based on your personal feelings. That’s how grown mean girl behavior gets passed down the kids.

Comment Handle It & I’ll send you access to my decision tree & scripts for what to say & do next, if you’re in a friendship like this & keep questioning yourself.

The reason status borrowing is so hard to spot is that it looks like real friendship, until it doesn’t.

4 Signs the mean girl is status borrowing from you

She acts like the two of you are much closer in front of other people than she does when it’s just the two of you. She’s borrowing the appearance of closeness with you.

She’ll take the intro, the invite, or the in with your friend group but puts zero effort into the actual friendship. She’s borrowing your access.

She drops your name in rooms you’re not in but barely shows up for you. She’s just borrowing your name.

The second you’re not useful to her anymore, she disappears because she’s done borrowing from you.