One Day At A Time

November 25, 2025

I did not cry today.
That's how I finish my little journal now. And I think I'm finally ready to share that because maybe it will help someone else.

For a good while now I've been submerged under the dark waters of a personal situation which has shredded my heart to bits. Being a person who usually takes bold action, I tried every single idea or thought that came to me. I poured out my sorrow on close friends. And yes, I prayed. Not just daily, but constantly.

First I prayed for how this should be fixed. Then I prayed for God's will to be done. But the only word I kept getting was "wait". I finally realized that God has a plan for each of us. Not just me, but each of us.

So I continue on. Learning how to wait. Growing in patience. When it gets bad as it does in quiet moments, I let some tears fall. I started to see a therapist to keep myself on track. I have to continue to enjoy every day, even with this situation. I changed some things so that its not in my face continuously. I try very hard not to let it take me down to the bottom. I've been there and its too hard to come back up. So I take care of me and do what I can to help others.

Just as we use an umbrella to protect ourselves from the rain, I use my faith to protect myself from the pain that the dark cloud pours out. God has given me blessings to keep functioning: music, writing, friends, family, colors of nature, my beautiful dog, Rosie, His Word, Spiritual wisdom, and so much more.

I'm glad I studied the Bible and got to know Jesus so I can feel peace. Even though I walk with a dark cloud I know that the SON is still shining. I keep my eyes on Jesus as I run my race.

Life isn't going to give us everything we want. And that's part of the lesson. So appreciate what and who you have. After all, its almost Thanksgiving. So count your blessings and be thankful for them until they are louder than your complaints.

James 1:2-5
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

September 14, 2025
So the last time I wrote anything to you was July 5th. Summer had just started and people went on vacations and kids went to camp. People had outdoor parties with grilled food and potato salad. Rabbits and squirrels and birds enjoying the beautiful green lawns and gardens against blue skies with puffy white clouds.

I would ask the question, " Where has summer gone?", but I know where it went. Packing and loading boxes and heavy things unto trucks. Wonderful people showed up for us and did what we can no longer do. Its a two-sided sword where you feel your age and must accept help, but at the same time you find priceless treasures in friends who jump in to do whatever they can. And even better these friends called on the strong young people they knew who willingly showed up bright and early.

After the moving our life's worth of stuff came the unpacking which truthfully is not completely finished. Every day I find little surprises here and there that show up where somebody packed them. I was thinking it fell off a truck and was lying in a ditch somewhere when I found my Pampered Chef measuring cup yesterday. You don't know how much you take the little things for granted!

In between all the chaos my children's book was published and now I'm following up on feedback from the press releases. Once more I'm entering into uncharted territory trying to wade through things I know nothing about. I'm doing research and taking and making calls to people I've never met. I asked the smartest people I know what do they think, and the reality is I'm on my own. Nobody has the answers to my questions, so I either give up and say no thank you, or I figure out what I can and trust God to guide me.

My mom turned 90 and most of the family was able to make it to the get-together for a nice supper. She refused to let any if us call it a party and insisted on no gifts. As I tried to say something nice about her, I got choked up when I realized there was one word to describe this crumbled up woman whom I've loved, argued with, talked about in therapy, forgave her, needed her, accepted her, watched her rise over and over, even after losing her husband of over 50 years, and coming full circle to loving her again, and realizing that I'd never actually stopped. The word I searched for and found for my mother: HOME. For someone with my history of moving, she is my home.

So that's where my summer went. From moving to finding home. I'm just grateful that my God in heaven gave me enough time to figure it out.

When you hurt yourself, you don't realize the ones who love you also feel the hurt. If you feel like killing yourself, the ones who love you die a death also. You might not think anyone loves you, but they do. Just because you don't feel loved doesn't mean their love for you stopped.

My newest children's book!