Called to Help Others

Happy Thanksgiving, dear friends.

For some of you, this year may have been marked by heartbreak, change, or overwhelming situations—please know you’re not alone. Holidays can feel complicated, even when life seems to be going well. But sometimes, we find ourselves navigating the pain of divorce, grieving the loss of a loved one, or simply trying to hold it all together. If that’s where you are today, give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel.

Gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring the hard stuff. It’s okay if your “thankful list” looks different this year—or if finding something to be grateful for feels difficult. Even the smallest things—a quiet moment, a hot shower, or a kind word—can be enough.

I’m grateful for each of you and the strength you bring to your own journey. Let this be a gentle reminder to pause and take a moment for yourself today.

If you're comfortable, I’d love to hear something you’re thankful for, no matter how small. Drop it in the comments below—your words may encourage someone else.

I’ll be stepping back from social media for the next two months and sending fewer newsletters. This decision comes from a place of intention and care—just as I encourage all of you to prioritize rest and healing, I’m choosing to do the same for myself.

For survivors of emotional abuse, learning to take breaks and focus on self-care is an essential step in the healing journey. It’s not selfish; it’s an act of love and strength. Rest allows us to reset, reflect, and refuel, so we can continue showing up for ourselves and others with clarity and purpose.

During this time, feel free to explore the resources already available on my page or on my website. I’ll be back soon, ready to support you with fresh insights and encouragement.

Take care of yourselves, and remember: rest isn’t a weakness—it’s part of the healing process. 💖

With love,
Susan

Ever notice that there’s sometimes a gap between how connected you want to feel with others and how connected you actually feel? That gap can bring up feelings of loneliness, doubt, and sadness.

When we feel this way, our mind often fills in the blanks with thoughts like, “Maybe I’m not interesting enough,” or “People don’t really want to be close to me.” These thoughts can become a barrier to feeling truly connected because they start to shape how we act around others.

The key to closing this gap is to pause and challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself: Is it really true that people don’t want to connect with me? When we rethink these assumptions, it becomes easier to build deeper, more fulfilling connections and get the results we desire in our lives.

As people pleasers, we grow up learning to make others happy, even if it means ignoring our own feelings. And when we’re praised for putting ourselves last, it’s easy to believe that this is the “right” way to be. But constantly putting others’ needs before our own can lead to feelings of sadness and depression over time.

When we push aside our own emotions to keep from upsetting others or rocking the boat, we risk feeling empty or even resentful because our own needs are overlooked by us and others may follow our lead.

Remember: Your feelings are just as important as anyone else’s. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

Have you ever felt like you had to ignore your feelings to keep the peace? Share your thoughts below.

Setting boundaries can be challenging, especially if we’re used to putting others first or aren’t sure how to use our own voice. But protecting our needs and feelings is key to living the life we’re truly meant to live.

If you’re new to boundary-setting, having some examples can be helpful while you build confidence and find your own way. Check out the three ways to express boundaries in the graphic — these approaches can help you stay grounded and prioritize your well-being.

Remember, protecting our emotional health means not letting others’ needs take over our own. Honoring our feelings isn’t selfish; it’s essential.

It is okay to ask for what you need. Boundaries keep us connected to ourselves, so we can show up for others in a genuinely healthy way.

What areas of your life do you struggle with setting boundaries? Let’s talk about it below!

From the outside looking in, it seems simple — the door is open, just walk out. But when you’re living inside an emotionally abusive situation, it doesn’t feel that way at all.

The "prison" isn’t just about being with someone; it’s built on fear, self-doubt, guilt, and the feeling that maybe no one else would understand. You may find yourself constantly questioning. “What if I’m the one who’s wrong?” “What if leaving makes everything worse?” "What about my kids? What's best for them?"

It’s not just about opening a door; it’s about breaking down walls that have been built around you slowly, piece by piece. And each step you take toward that “open door” feels like a battle you don’t always feel strong enough to fight.

If you’re here, just know: I see you. I understand. And maybe one day, when the time is right, you’ll both find the strength to step through that door for good. Until then, we keep going.

Living through an emotionally abusive relationship can leave deep wounds. It can feel like everything — your thoughts, your choices, even your sense of self — has been shaped by someone else. You may not even know who you are without the other person.

Healing doesn’t mean pretending the hurt and abuse never happened. It means learning that those painful memories don’t have to dictate your life anymore. It means taking back your power and your voice, piece by piece, until you are no longer defined by someone else’s choices.

For anyone who feels like the past still has a hold on them, remember this: your healing doesn’t erase the journey you’ve been on, but it can give you a future that’s fully, truly yours. ❤️

True or False: Avoiding difficult conversations can lead to conflict.

False — for some people. True — for others. Here’s why.

For those in emotionally mature relationships, addressing issues openly can lead to better understanding and growth. Clear, respectful communication allows both partners to feel valued, even during challenging conversations. Each partner is committed to supporting each other’s feelings and finding solutions together.

But for someone in an emotionally abusive relationship, difficult conversations can feel dangerous. A simple issue can quickly trigger anger, blame, manipulation, gaslighting, or even the silent treatment. Avoiding certain topics becomes a way to survive emotionally, as bringing up issues rarely leads to resolution or change.

Remember: Most relationship advice assumes both partners are safe, respectful, and caring. If you’ve tried all the “right” strategies, like using “I feel” statements, but end up feeling unheard, blamed, or doubting your own reality after every conversation, this may be a sign that your relationship isn’t healthy.

Have you ever felt like some advice doesn’t apply to your relationship? Let’s talk about it below.

It’s easy to follow well-worn paths laid out by others—whether it’s the expectations of family, friends, or society. When a path is already cleared, it can feel comfortable, easy, and safe. But our own paths are rarely that straightforward. They’re full of unknowns, obstacles, and sometimes even a bit of fog.

If you’re feeling unsure or finding things challenging, remember that this isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign you’re forging your own way forward. Growth, healing, and self-discovery happen when we step away from others' expectations and make space for our own journey.

So, don’t be afraid if the way isn’t clear. Embrace the twists and turns—they’re what make the journey yours.

When we go through or are currently experiencing emotional abuse, it often leads to repetitive, looping thoughts. We might feel stuck, replaying conversations, worries, fears, and “what ifs” over and over. These repetitive thoughts are our mind’s way of trying to process painful experiences, searching for answers that make sense of what happened or ways to prevent it from happening again. But rather than finding peace, we often get trapped in cycles that leave us feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.

The good news is that we can break free from these thought cycles. It starts with interrupting our thoughts and practicing new ways of thinking. Check out the slides for three techniques to help quiet the noise and create space for healing.

Do you have a favorite technique to calm your mind? Share it in the comments so we can all learn together.

It’s a strange thing—after years of hearing someone tell us we’re not good enough, that we’re too much, or that we’re unworthy of love, those words start living in our heads. Before we know it, we become the ones criticizing ourselves, echoing the harsh voice of our abuser. This voice can be relentless, convincing us we’re broken, weak, or that we deserve less than others.

But we deserve to speak to ourselves with the same love and gentleness we give to others. Self-compassion is the antidote to this mean inner critic. It means pausing, taking a deep breath, and offering ourselves kindness and grace—even when we stumble, even when we feel like we’re failing.

Imagine if, every time that inner critic pipes up, we counter it with understanding instead. Imagine saying to ourselves, “I am enough. I am learning. I am worthy of love.” Self-compassion is a muscle we build over time, and it’s powerful. When we practice it, we start reclaiming our true voice—the one that knows our value and refuses to settle for less.

To all who need this reminder: self-compassion is a gift only you can give yourself.

If you are a woman who proudly calls yourself a people pleaser, you may believe your worth is tied to how much you can do for others—constantly trying to fix everything just to keep the peace.

But today, I’m encouraging you to consciously choose a different path.

No longer shoulder burdens that aren’t yours to carry. Your value doesn’t come from saving the world or sacrificing yourself. Your value comes from simply being you.

It’s time to let go, set boundaries, and start living for yourself.

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Today, I’m learning that it’s okay to say no.

For so long, I’ve felt like I had to keep everyone else happy just to avoid the next conflict. But constantly putting myself last has left me feeling drained and lost.

It’s time to remind myself that I deserve rest, peace, and respect—even if I’m not fixing everything for everyone. I am worthy of love, just as I am.

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Today, I’m reminding myself that it’s not my job to fix everything or everyone.

We may believe that if we just tried harder, everything would get better. But carrying the weight of someone else’s anger or control isn’t our responsibility.

You are valuable, even if you are not constantly overextending yourself. It’s time to let go, focus on your own needs, and remember that you are enough, just as you are.

Jealousy happens in every relationship, but when does it cross the line?

If you're constantly being questioned, isolated, or controlled in the name of 'jealousy,' it’s time to recognize the difference between normal emotions and abusive behavior.
We all deserve to feel safe and not trapped.

Try setting one small boundary this week and see what reaction you get. How people we are in relationship with act to a healthy boundary is telling about if they are controlling or not.

Healing doesn’t always feel like progress. Sometimes it’s messy, painful, and exhausting. We might feel like we’re standing still or even slipping backward. But the truth is, every single step—no matter how small or hard—is moving us forward.

When life feels heavy and overwhelming, remember that even in the pain, you are growing. You’re learning to navigate difficult emotions, to set boundaries, to show yourself love. Those moments of struggle? They are steps toward healing.

It’s okay if your journey doesn’t look perfect. Progress doesn’t have to be fast—there is no timeline for healing.

What’s one small step you can take today? Drop it in the comments below. Let’s celebrate our progress together.

Did you know that emotional abuse can affect your physical health just as much as your mental well-being? Chronic stress, anxiety, and fear can lead to fatigue, migraines, insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome, heart problems, and many other physical symptoms. When your body is stuck in "fight or flight" mode for years, it takes a serious toll.

The first step toward healing is recognizing the signs. If you’ve been feeling exhausted, numb, or physically unwell without a clear reason, it might be time to ask yourself if emotional abuse is a factor. You deserve to feel healthy, whole, and at peace.

Take the first step today – Comment below or DM me if you think emotional abuse could be affecting your physical health.

Putting others first isn’t the only way to show love. Protecting our peace is essential for both our physical and emotional health. When we’re healthy, we can truly support others in a way that benefits everyone.

Setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away or being selfish—it’s about creating healthy relationships, where respect exists on both sides of the fence.

If you’ve gone without boundaries for a long time, learning to set them can feel unfamiliar and difficult. But just like any new skill, there’s a learning curve, and with practice, it gets easier.

Have you ever struggled with setting boundaries? What’s one boundary you can set to protect your peace this week? Drop it in the comments below and let’s support each other!