Gray Manis, LCSW PLLC

You’ve likely said or heard some of these lines before. And every single time, the conversation went nowhere good.

Here's what I want you to notice. The "Old You" isn't a bad person. It's the reactive, young part of you that learned a long time ago that it needed to fight, deflect, and shut down in order to protect itself.

The "New You" isn't about being perfect. It's about catching yourself in the moment and choosing something different. It's about staying on your side of the street and leading with what right would look like rather than what your partner did wrong.

This is the shift from conflict to connection.

Which one of these hit closest to home for you?

New Episode Out Today!

“Intimacy From the Inside Out: Internal Family Systems and Healing Relationships” with Gray Manis, LCSW

In this episode of Guided, we sit down with therapist Gray Manis to explore what it means to heal from the inside out.
Gray specializes in Internal Family Systems (IFS), a powerful model of therapy that helps people understand and relate differently to the “parts” of themselves—protectors, critics, wounded places—and access the calm, compassionate core that IFS calls the Self.

He also works with couples using Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO), helping partners understand how their internal worlds shape conflict, connection, and vulnerability.
We talk about trauma, attachment, reactivity, and how EMDR can help reprocess painful memories that keep individuals and couples stuck. This conversation is both deeply practical and profoundly hopeful: healing is not about eliminating parts of ourselves—it’s about leading them well.

Whether you’re a therapist, a couple wanting deeper intimacy, or someone trying to understand your own internal struggles, this episode will give you language and tools for real change.

Find the video here (https://www.compasscenterky.com/about/podcast), and audio is found wherever you stream podcasts!

1464 Gray Manis-05 21 26-EMDR Therapy-Phill Podcast Episode · NY Executive Podcast The Next Million Streams Could Be Yours · May 26 · 5m

Sometimes it doesn’t take much for old stuff to get activated.

Whether you’re struggling as a couple or not, this book can improve your relationships.

Are there parts of you that you’ve exiled or lost touch with? Internal Family Systems Therapy can make healing those parts possible.

Childhood wounds don’t always look the way you think.

Maybe no one hit you, you had food and shelter, and your parents weren't monsters.

But somewhere along the way, you absorbed messages that shaped how you see yourself and show up in relationships today.

Maybe you heard:

"You're so independent, you don't need anyone." So now asking for help feels impossible.

"This family depends on you." So now you can't say no without feeling guilty.

"You're too much" or "You're the problem." So now you apologize for taking up space.

Or, "I'm too busy for you." So now you've learned not to expect much from people.

It might not have been said out loud. But it was the role you were made to play.

And most of the time, these painful roles were given to us by caretakers who were doing the best they could with their own wounds.

These messages are still running in the background today. They affect who you choose, how you show up in conflict, whether you stay or leave, and how safe you feel being truly known.

The first step to changing your patterns is recognizing which message you absorbed.

Which one resonates most for you?