365 Things To Do In The Florida Keys

The Pink Taxis Of Key West!

Yes, I’m embarrassed to say that Key West does indeed have PINK taxis. 😦 So sad!

I’m pretty sure the reasoning behind it is simple, Key West is known for its all night party atmosphere doing the World Famous Bar Hopping Duval Crawl. (Though I wouldn’t know anything about that personally!) 🙂 Here’s the scoop: After several intoxicating adult beverages science has proven that PINK is the easiest color to see and therefore Key West has followed suite with many other cities in converting all of their yellow taxis to pink. OK, that was an out right lie! 🙂 I totally made that up… hey, you’d make up the same outlandish story to save face if you were the ONLY city in America with PINK taxis! 🙂 I’m so incredibly embarrassed!

You can find the pink city icons anywhere and everywhere along Key West’s multi-lane highway & bi-ways… wow, what’s wrong with me today, that too was an untruth… Key West has NO such multi-lane roads! 🙂 Who cares, just come down and see these laughable eyesores we call “Pink Taxis” for yourself!

The Scales Of Justice!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve past this ALWAYS saying “Next Time”… well, that next time was on this day. I didn’t have a clue what it was as I was passing by at 45 m.p.h. some 100 times before and never stopping.

I’m embarrassed to say, ok no I’m not, those of you that know me, I don’t get embarrassed! I actually thought it was a horse hitching post wondering what the heck is was doing there? Anyway, during my first and only stop here it turns out to be the ‘Scales Of Justice’ in front of a lawyers office of all places! :-)

You too can find this miniature artists rendering of the famous blindfold covered lady holding scales near Mile Marker 88.7 oceanside at the edge of the woods near a parking lot.

A horse hitching post… I’m so embarrassed! :-)

Mellow Folk Welcome!

A greeting straight from the islands! It’s so laid back that it’s written in all lower case letters stating ‘mellow folk welcome’.

Island life is such a big part of the Florida Key’s mystique. Vacationers flock to the Keys in droves for a small sample of our laid back atmosphere, style & tradition. Here at this very tiny local watering hole across the street from a small trailer park you’ll find this great example of laid back expression seen hanging over its wooden arched gate. I love the Keys and its SLOW laid back pace of life, it’s just my style! :-)

You can find this ‘mellow folk welcome’ sign just before the legendary local favorite Hogfish Bar & Grill on Stock Island. Go to Mile Marker 5 oceanside off US-1 at the Burger King, down 1-block turning left onto McDonald Ave that turns into Maloney Ave, turn right onto 4th Ave, left on Front Street and there you will see it on the right about a 100 feet or so.

Lighthouse Lens!

Ever seen a vintage lighthouse lens? Now’s your chance, I’ve found one large enough to almost walk into if they’d let you!

Formerly atop an 88-step circular stairway leading to the deck observatory stood this glass prism behemoth called a Fresnel lens. The lighthouse was built in 1847 and first lit up the Key West shoreline in 1849. It was eventually outdated and automated working continuously from 1915. 1938.

You can find the former Key West beacon at the corner of Whitehead Street & Truman Avenue across from Ernest Hemingway’s House. There is an entrance fee to get into this portion of the Key West Lighthouse exhibit.

Rooftop Shark Submarine!

So, I ask you, where in the Florida Keys can you find a single person submersible yellow submarine with a shark painted on it? Don’t even begin to guess, I’ll tell you exactly where!

You can find this one-of-a-kind yellow solo rooftop submarine at Mile Marker 83.0 bayside atop the roof of the Divers Museum. The sub is FREE to view from the outside of the building, the museum itself is not. 😦

Mouse Trap Bar (I kid you not) :-)

Yes that’s right, I’ve found a bar that uses mouse traps for more than trapping mice! My work friend Adam would really get a kick out visiting this place!

It’s amazing, I’ve eaten here no less than 3 times and until now have never noticed the mouse traps till walking up to the main bar and ordering some liquid ice-cold gold. In asking the bartender the reasoning for the mouse traps, she replied: “It’s simple, we have so many ceiling fans trying to keep it cool in here that it blows the checks off the bar.” And now you know why mouse traps are found in a Florida Keys bar.

Oh yeah – PS, don’t try skipping out on leaving a tip as this guy did because the scream of getting your finger pinched alerts the local “Tip Police”.

You can find this mouse trap check holder at the Hogfish Bar & Grill on Stock Island. Go to Mile Marker 5 oceanside off US-1 at the Burger King, down 1-block turning left onto McDonald Ave that turns into Maloney Ave, turn right onto 4th Ave, left on Front Street and there you will see it on the right a half mile or so.

I Bought Key West for $250

I bought Key West for $250 and have the check to prove it… but who am I? We’ve all heard of the land deals of historical proportion as in the Louisiana Purchase from France, Alaska from Russia but never have you heard about Key West from the Spanish! So here’s your history lesson for the day, and here we go: John W. Simonton purchased the island on January 19, 1822 from Juan Pablo Salas, who had acquired it as a Spanish Land Grant in 1815. John Simonton soon took on three northern partners: John Whitehead, John Fleeming and Pardon Greene. On the scene arrived General John Geddes of Charleston who had also purchased Key West. It was discovered that Juan Pablo Salas had sold the island twice! In summary, Salas sold it twice, once to Geddes and once to Simonton who had already divided it up amongst his Three Amigos: Whitehead, Fleeming and Greene. On May 23, 1828, Congress ruled Simonton as the legal owner. We might surmise that this was Florida’s first land scam. And now you know the rest of the story! What a deal it was for $250 to purchase the entire island of Key West! Think about it, at today’s prices… ok, before the recession, that’s probably what it would cost for a single 1 square inch! The check pictured can be found in the East Martello Tower Museum on the northeastern part of the island. Parking is FREE but they do charge a nominal admission.

Smallest Bar In Key West

Welcome to Key West’s self proclaimed Smallest Bar as written on its bright yellow awning. I’m always up for a photo-op and have brought EVERYONE I’ve ever taken to Key West here for the consummate album photo no tourist should be without! (of drinking age that is) :-) To be totally honest, I’ve seen more tourists stopping by for a photo than stopping by for an Adult Beverage! I guess that’s to be expected when you’re banking on a gimmick to pull in customers.

As you can see there are only two bar stools in the entire bar which at best measures 6’ x 8’ of customer standing area. They’re open standard Bar type hours so be sure to time your visit accordingly.

So drop on by the Northwestern end of Duval Street and snag that prized photo of you standing beside the painted Tiki Head sign proving that “YOU TOO” have visited the ‘Smallest Bar in Key West’ without buying a beer! :-)

Stock Island’s Mile Marker Post!

Located smack dab outside the side door entrance to the now World Famous Hogfish Bar & Grill sits yet another mile marker post. These posts state the distance from this location to another showing around 20 exotic destinations around the world.

I say now World Famous since this is the place that TV Channel’s Host of Man-v-Food’s Adam Richmond put on the map for the rest of the world to enjoy. The locals have always known!

There are several of these mileage markers around town with only a hand full worth a side trip to photograph. This is one of the best ones, its in great shape, well painted and here at the Hogfish Bar & Grill to boot!

You can find the Hogfish Bar & Grill by going to Mile Marker 5 and turn left off of US-1 South at the Burger King, down 1-block turning left onto McDonald Ave that turns into Maloney Ave, turn right onto 4th Ave, left on Front Street and there you will see it on the right a half mile or so exactly beside the famous Crankshaft Man blogged about earlier.

Key West’s Legion Of Helping Hands!

We here at 365 Things To Do In The Florida Keys aren’t bound to covering only Key’s attractions or the World Famous Duval Street. We too like diversity with past blogs answering questions about: “Where can I find free parking & public restrooms?”

Today we tackle Key West’s hardworking legion of troops who in someway help us get back on our way when ‘Murphy’s Law’ tries to slow down your vacation. We start with bike repairs, as you may or may not know, bike rentals in Key West number in the hundred on a daily basis. Believe me, flats and accidents do occur, even with me! I’ve had two flat tires, I guess it was bound to happen after 5 year of peddling our way down small secluded alleyways, hedge brush shortcuts, down dirt and gravel roads, friendly neighborhood streets, across un-mapped back roads, and of course pedestrian laden Duval Street of my hometown Key West, Florida! Seen here is a bike tech that took great care of me who on average takes ONLY 5-6 minutes to change a tire at a cost of $11.83 a few years ago.

Though Jessie pictured here may no longer be there, you can find other willing employees hard at work inside of ‘The Bike Shop’ at the corner of Truman Avenue & Varela Street in bike-friendly Key West!