AngelEyes

Journaling

I'm in here with the mother of an NFL football 🏈 player. So, I asked her last night 🌙 how the game 🎮 was going. She said som**hing about the end zone. I laughed. I said, I don't know s**t about football. Are they winning 🤔 or losing 📉 is all I'm asking. That's about as supportive as I can be. Lol

Journaling

This is so crazy 🤪. This is so not how this was supposed to go. I was supposed to be in the background putting TexS in the spotlight getting him into the studio maybe helping writing a rhyme or two with him on the stage and people trying to trick me out of position which by the way is pretty impossible. My loyalty is on beast mode, but not just that. I control my emotions like a robot 🤖. I think before I burn 🔥. I research and fact check ✔️ before I even open up my mouth. Hugely mindful of the power my words hold as well as my actions 🎬. Everything went left. Instead I'm in the spotlight and people are trying to trick him out of his position and I'm constantly reassuring and building him up to withstand such trickery. How did it get all backwards?!

Journaling

Throughout my relationship with TexS we ate slept and breathed each other for seven years. We never separated. We went everywhere with each other. I never told him a single lie and not once have I ever given him someone to compete with. So when you come to him with false allegations just remember that he spent seven years studying 📖 my character. He's not that stupid. You might have gotten s**t like that by on day one, but we're eleven years in and I would be insulted if he didn't know me better than whatever lie someone is trying to tell him.

Journaling

I listen to a singer named ILUKA. I relate. Once upon a time I believed the delusional bulls**t fairytales they spit at you in school. Fairy-tales like the constitution and women's rights and racism doesn't exist. Liars! Love that lasts forever and if you stand up for what's right you win. All idealistic and s**t. It's easy to think you have rights you've never tried to use before. Mix races and see that racism is fu***ng everywhere. Write what you believe in and the eavesdropping on private conversations and watch the retribution, but wait didn't the constitution guarantee freedom of speech without the fear of retribution yet people are dying every day for words. I'm a super smart woman yet I gotta have a goon walking with me. F**k prince charming. I'm walking with the wolf.

Journaling

A girl in here recently failed a drug test. I like her and I'm cool with her. She got lucky and skated ⛸️ by on a light ✨️ punishment. She just pulled me to the side to tell me that she's a m**h addict. I said I was too. Just because I've been clean for several years now doesn't mean that I don't get the struggle. She told me that after she failed she flushed huge shard down the toilet 🚻. I said, girl you got no idea how much dope I've flushed. A drug addict would cringe. Lol 😆.

I swear I can't call how covered I am by God in my babies words by the grand design !! Any one who knows me I can really mess some s**t up and the only thing I got on my plate is to repair the beginning part of my relationship and I've done a real good job of that so far. But when you have a history like mine it's so easy to say f**k me when I am on edge about the internet stuff and bull s**t that I don't know how to explain so you know I did have some personal s**t going on cause I am so the provider for me and lil one and if I even think that someone is trying to get in that lane then I lose sorry baby but you knew I was throwed and chose to stay with me so wala ON IT TEXAS ANGEL EYES 637 I APPLOGIZE TO YOU AND I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY FEET IT GOES DEEPER THAN MY HEART IM FAR FROM PERFECT BUT IM YOURS AND I DONT AND AINT GOING NO WHERE AND YOU ARE TAKING MY DAMN MONEY 🤑 637

Journaling

In the streets standing next to the gangsta every woman wanted I was surrounded by women who put their entire self worth into outer beauty. I've never really cared if I was beautiful on the outside, said the beautiful girl. It's all relative and who gives a f**k. People do I guess. My self worth has always been attached to the intelligence most people don't know I have. It's not that I'm the smartest person in the world. I'm sure I'm not. However I'm highly teachable with fluid ideology rather than stone.

Journaling

There are certain requirements for someone to be a high functioning autistic. I say requirements because in my opinion it's an honor to be a high functioning autistic. I'm a very odd person. My autistic stemming is fu***ng out of there can auditory. I repeat uh oh and nu huh and silly rhymes. My eyes dart in the peripheral angles zoom in and out just zoom zoom. Lol. I rock 🪨 and pace. I like to smell cleaning supplies and soaps and s**t and Iconstantlylistentomusicandmeditatein every form known to man. Stemming stemming stemming. And these silly things make me so happy that I'm giddy and pretty much none can be taken away from me. My source of happiness. Oh but my favorite requirement is the above average IQ. All the oddity and strange body movements makes people think som**hing is wrong with me and I gotta be intellectually slow when in fact I'm the smartest person in the room most of the time and seriously underestimated. I've been underestimated my entire life. TexS told me a couple of weeks ago that I play on that. I absolutely play on that. Don't get me wrong. You can probably bring your A game and I can still win, but people who consider you intellectually slow are not bringing their A game. Lol

She tripping y'all!!

Do not fu***ng call me tonight or I'll block your number. This is how this is going to go. Tomorrow I'm going to go to temple with a n***a that's just a friend. Then I'm gonna text you quite a few hours later to tell you that temple was whack so we left and that we're looking at an rv for sale and I'll call you in a few. Oh and by the way I've been drinking. Then I won't call you or text you the rest of the night because apparently that's the cool s**t we can do in this relationship. Thank you for informing me of this new found freedom and that your jealousy is no longer an issue in this relationship and I can spend as much time as I want with other men "only friends " of course. Good night. I hope you enjoy tomorrow like you did today.