Fully Alive Coaching

People use “I’m sorry” like hello, goodbye, and how are you. Real apologies are not just spoken, but they are loved out with changed behavior. Your sorry is not enough when you keep doing the thing that causes harm. If you’re really sorry, change your behavior. Feel the weight of the damage done. Commit to being a better person. Otherwise, move on.

When your heart is broken, it can be easy to build walls around it. The real work is in keeping your heart open, but learning to guard it wisely. Loving another person is a risk, just like many things in life. I still believe that there’s nothing more beautiful than watching two people love each other well. I won’t settle for the false kind of love, I’ve had that before. But if the real thing shows up, I might go along for the ride.🧡

Never, not once in my life, have I ever wanted to be anything but a Black woman. Those who know, know. Those who don’t wish they did. And those who hate, are only living out of their own insecurities. Thank you God for who you made me to be and for all the INCREDIBLE Black women who have ever graced us with their presence. No matter how much they push us down, we rise to the top!

I’m always amazed at the minimization of betrayal as “just cheating”. Intimate partner betrayal is a BIG deal. It can lead to betrayal trauma and PTSD. When you betray someone, you violate them in multiple ways. If you choose to cheat, there are consequences that come with those choices. I’m not condoning violence, but I understand how people reach a breaking point.

If a person was emotionally aware enough to identify their emotions, express hard feelings, and ask for what they need they probably would just leave. But most people who betray their partners lack emotional maturity and emotional intelligence. They also lack integrity to be honest. They don’t want to leave the relationship but they don’t have the skills to do what would be healthy and right.

Covert abuse goes undetected because it can resemble normal relationship issues. The difference is the lack of change in behavior, the feeling of repetition, and the questioning of your own reality. Covert abusers love to manipulate empathy and play the victim. Victims often realize the reality in hindsight.

Most covert signs are only understood in hindsight. A betraying partner puts a lot of effort into going undetected, covering their tracks, and throwing their partner off. It’s easy to attribute covert behaviors to other things. Once you see them, it’s hard to unsee them. These are lessons I learned the hard way, but surely won’t forget.