The Starting Place

It takes self-control to set and enforce appropriate limits that allow the natural consequences to fall on the shoulders of the responsible party. Boundaries allow you to remain unaffected by the poor choices of people who lack self-control.

The key is knowing that the other person is not responsible for our limits. We have to make the decision to draw the line and enforce our own boundaries. Refusing to acknowledge our limits will quickly lead to resentment of other people.

Many people do not take responsibility for their own lives, and they will think we are bad for not taking care of them. We must allow them to think negatively of us and to take responsibility for their own opinions. And some people will be critical no matter what we do

It can be difficult to let go of old patterns, habits, and relationships, because if nothing else, they're familiar to us. We think they provide us some sense of security, but the real comfort will come when you have the courage to let those old things go and open yourself up to new hope. You don't have the space for both the old and the new.

Very interesting

If the brain interprets a situation as negative, dangerous, or wrong, a fight-or-flight response kicks in that resists it and moves us away from the issue. On the contrary, if a situation is registered as normal, expected, or good, the brain helps us embrace the situation and take action to execute it. If we can begin to see endings as (sometimes painful) gifts, we will be able to move forward more easily and develop a greater resilience as we move through life.

People who avoid relationships have problems not with functional self-sufficiency but with relational self-sufficiency. We were not made to be relationally self-sufficient. We were made to need each other. Our needs teach us about love and keep us humble. While there are vulnerabilities and risks that come with relationships, isolation is always more destructive.