Ivy Ruths, PhD

A happy hour is always a good idea 🥰🥳

My daughter came home in third grade and said “Mom, everyone’s in Russian math.”

I had no idea what Russian math was. 🤯

But immediately my brain went: If everyone else is getting this extra instruction and she’s not, will she get left behind? Will she feel bad about herself? Will this affect what schools she gets into ten years down the line?

Spoiler alert: I didn’t sign her up for Russian math.

But I get it. I *really* do! Because we live in this culture where you’re supposed to sign up for summer camps when your kid is born or they won’t get in…. Where if you’re not doing the extra tutoring and the extra classes, your child will somehow miss out.

And all of that anxiety we feel? It shows up in how we parent.

I talked about this on . About the short-term versus long-term. About what we actually want for our kids (healthy, independent, content) versus what we end up praising (grades, accomplishments, constantly working towards the next thing).

(a true gem 💎) and I got real about the patterns we’re seeing and the patterns we’re living.

Worth a listen if you’ve ever felt like you’re doing it all wrong. (Spoiler alert…. You’re not ❤️).

Link in bio to listen.

Reintroduction ✨

If you’re new here, or if you’ve been following my professional work for a while, Hi 👋🏾🎉

I’m Ivy. Clinical psychologist, mom of two daughters, writer at heart, currently learning the rhythm of life with a new puppy and wearing a hat from my husband that says “make your own money and marry someone funny.” 😆

By day, I’m the founder of , where I help kids, teens, adults, and parents face the things they would rather avoid - and learn how to live fuller, braver lives.❤️ And I’m currently moonlighting as a substack author… I’m excited to see what I’m able to put in writing in 2026!

I believe the hardest parts of life, motherhood, anxiety, transitions, grief, uncertainty, deserve honesty, nuance, and a soft place to land.

This space is where those worlds meet.
Evidence based psychology.
Real life.
The messy middle.
The stuff I’ve previously been afraid to say out loud.

You’ll see some of my real life here including a brand new 9 week old puppy who is currently driving me bonkers with all the biting 😵‍💫

If you would like to read more of my personal writing, you can find me on Substack, where I write about motherhood and hard seasons with both heart and honesty.

And if you are looking for practical tools, parenting support, and evidence based guidance, you can join the monthly newsletter from Houston Anxiety and Wellness Center.

Thanks for being here. I’m really glad you are. 💛

She may be unrelatable in every single way except one: talks about the ups and downs of co-parenting with on - biggest take away: “I will always take the high road when it comes to my kids.”

I know how much a gallon of milk costs and although Kim K and most single parents have *very* different lives, the emotional work is the same.

Read my newest essay, What Kim Kardashian Gets Right About Co-Parenting, about the psychology of co-parenting when things aren’t easy. Up on Substack now - link in bio.

The first Christmas without my daughter nearly broke me.

But over time, I’ve learned something super important: joy doesn’t live on the calendar. ✨

You can celebrate whenever you’re together.
You can volunteer, rest, skip traditions, or make new ones entirely.
You can still have meaning, even when it looks different.

Read my latest Substack essay — Any Day Can Be Thanksgiving — about letting go of the “right” date and finding light where you are. 💛

🔗 Link in bio to read + subscribe.

San Diego has always been my marker for change.
Twenty-four, thirty, thirty-six, forty - each visit a different version of me, standing in the same golden light.

My new Substack essay, Gratitude is Gold, is the story of moving from heartbreak to hope and finally home - all through the power of gratitude.

Find it at ivyruthsrios.substack.com or DM for the direct link.


ThroughGratitude

I didn’t realize I was a perfectionist while I was in it.
I just thought I was hardworking. Driven. Responsible.
But underneath it all was the fear of falling short.

It wasn’t until my marriage ended while I had a toddler and was in graduate school that I started to see it clearly. I began to notice how much of my worth had been tied to performance, achievement, and getting it right.

My new Substack post, The Problem with Perfect, is about learning to let go of the illusion of control, quieting the “not enough” voice, and finding peace in good enough.

Read it here: ivyruthsrios.substack.com
(link in profile or DM me for the link)

When I went through a divorce at 30, I didn’t have a roadmap. I didn’t know what life would look like when all the dust settled. But I did know what I wanted my daughter to know.

This week’s Substack essay, The Five Things I Wanted My Young Daughter to Know About Her Parents’ Divorce, is about the love and lessons that carried us forward - and holding both heartbreak and hope at once.

If you’ve ever found yourself rebuilding while trying to stay strong for someone else, this one’s for you. 💚

You can read it on ivyruthsrios.substack.com — lor DM “Father Figure” for the link.

For most of my life, I’ve been chasing the next thing — the next degree, the next milestone, the next version of “better.”

And then, at 30, life fell apart.

That season changed me. It taught me what it means to rebuild, to reimagine, and to keep going even when the story looks different than you thought it would.

My new Substack, On Writing Again, is where I’m putting words to that journey — to grief, motherhood, and growth — and sharing the tools that have helped me find steadiness again.

If you’ve ever wondered how to move forward after a hard chapter, this space is for you. 💚

Subscribe at ivyruthsrios.substack.com, through the link in my profile, or DM me for the link.

with .repost
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Here’s to a week full of surprises, the good kind ✨

If your mind’s anything like mine then it’s good at spinning up the worst-case scenarios… but what if we stretched our hope muscles a little this week?

Trading what if it doesn’t for what if it does 🙌

Good things are coming friend 🤍