Yoshiko Burney

People love to say this. Loud and insensitive. I was this person until I WAS letting someone hit me. I always teach that abuse starts at the head. In your right mind no man or woman can just walk up and hit you. You’d fight back or you’d block it. You’d end things immediately. But when you’ve been love bombed or been broken down and esteem shredded, it’s easy to physically harm someone mentally depleted. Abusers know who to target. They target those who are already mentally stressed or someone they know they can stress easily.

🦋 Unless you’ve lived it yourself, you don’t know what you would do
🦋 This statement is insensitive and invalidating to victims and why they stay
🦋 Some have been in this situation so long they don’t find anything abnormal about the abuse
🦋 You’re still with your cheating boyfriend.. what’s the difference?

Just don’t say this aloud. Say it alone or amongst your friends but not to a victim, please. Saying this helps them stay in the relationship longer to prove a point. The longer they stay, the more abusive and dangerous it gets. Just be mindful of your words please!

The do’s and don’ts of abuse are kinda clear. People tend to overthink what they have to do and all you have to do is be there in any capacity that’s safe for you.

Do:
✅Silence is isolation. Empower them to say their peace
✅You will only know if you ask. But also keep asking Sometimes 10 “no thank yous” can turn into 1 “this is how you can help”.
✅Your mental health is important. If you can’t handle details or are overwhelmed let them know. You don’t have to take on too much.
✅Continue to follow my page and others who shed light on abuse. Knowledge really is power.

Don’t
❌Judge a victim. You don’t know how they got there or why they’re still there. Unless you’ve worn the shoes you can’t speak to the trauma.
❌If you see abuse acknowledge it. Don’t act like you don’t see the black eye or the obvious stalking (Ye, is that you?)
❌Faith without works is dead. We all prayed out, boss.
❌You didn’t fail as a friend or parent. Don’t blame your loved ones abuse on something you may or may not have done.

Abuse happens and it’s imperative you’re there to support anyway you can. Share this post to help others.

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Have you wondered how DV affects you or what knowledge you can gain further? I am more than equipped to help you understand the effects of DV. This is for business owners, pastors and citizens alike. Join me on 2/25 @ 5 PM CST via zoom for a short training on the various types of DV, what to look out for and more. Training will come with a small pamphlet of information to keep and refer back to. Link here: https://lnkd.in/eNbf9ZUW

You can’t imagine how embarrassing it is to be publicly humiliated by abuse. The shame one may face to return to people who answer to them or even those who don’t can be unbearable. How can we as employers lessen the load. There’s a few ways:

📌 Call the police. This seems like a no brainer but sometimes a company may not want this type of press. But it’s important that you call the police for protection and records for both you and the victim.

📌 Complete an incident report. This is to keep you and your company protected. This should be completely detailed so that for reference and possible court you’ll know exactly what happened. This includes witness report, time and etc. I have a incident report on my site that can help.

📌 Follow up with the victim. Though this may be normal to them, this may still be embarrassing as well as stressful. Reaching out to ensure they are okay and don’t have any needs you can meet will help them through this traumatic incident.

📌 Empathize. Be kind this is a delicate situation. Don’t be the boss that doesn’t care about their employees. Leave a safe space for conversations and questions.

This is not easy for any of us but we’re learning. Want to know more about domestic violence? I have a class coming up teaching about domestic violence 101 on 2/25 via zoom. Link in bio to sign up.

This is what I do. There is a huge gap and miscommunication between both. Victims and survivors think the church and employers don’t know and don’t care and the employers and churches don’t understand how vital their role is to the domestic violence community and know how to connect.

I help both parties understand that together a solution can be provided.

If you’re wondering how you can be part of that solution DM the word “solution” so we can chat about how to bridge the gap. I also have a domestic violence class on 2/25 via zoom, if you want a crash course on domestic violence. Link here: https://tinyurl.com/3u69x9tu 🦋