She Still Rises

It’s been three years, and as time passes, the daily struggles of widowhood can become less visible to others. People may not always remember the long nights, the emotional exhaustion, or that we’re still raising children on our own.

In widowhood, there are no days off from the grief, the exhaustion, or the emotional weight of it all—you’re carrying it all on your own. The pain still lingers. The loneliness is loud. Time doesn’t heal all things. Time just helps us adapt to our hard.

If it’s been a while since you’ve reached out to the widow in your life, I encourage you to keep checking in, no matter how much time has passed. No matter how much they may seem like they have it all together, the reality is they still need people to walk alongside them. Your kindness and presence make a difference.

To my fellow widows, remember this: You are seen, you are valued, you are not forgotten. This journey is long, but it is not one you have to walk alone, even when it feels like the world has moved on. Always know that God is walking with you every step of the way. His love is unchanging, His presence never leaves, and He will carry you through your hardest days. He is the protector and defender of widows. And, you are never alone.

He is with you always. 🤍

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how far I’ve come. I feel so grateful for the life I have—the growth, the resilience, the love that still surrounds me. But there are still moments when I deeply miss the life I lost. Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere.

Like yesterday—I was sitting in a nail salon, and across from me was a pregnant woman. I overheard it was her third child, and my immediate thought was, *that was stolen from me.* Blake and I had two children together, and we had always gone back and forth on the idea of a third. That possibility disappeared when he died.

I saw the ring on her finger, and it reminded me—I don’t get to wear my ring anymore. It’s these little things that strike suddenly, because they were ripped away without warning. It wasn’t just Blake that was taken from me, but everything that came with him. The possibility of a third child, the reality of still being married, and the way our family unit as a whole has changed. All those pieces of my old life vanished with him.

Even with the life I’m living now, and moments where I feel hopeful, I often find myself longing for the life I used to have. It’s a strange balance—to be thankful for the present while mourning the past.

I know I’ve been quiet lately. I’ve been navigating a lot of change, and I’m hopeful for the growth I’ve experienced. But no matter how far I’ve come, grief is always there, waiting—waiting to remind me of all that was and all that is no longer.

3 years. I truly can’t believe it’s been 3 years since I’ve seen your face. Heard your voice. Held your hand. This day is never easy. It’s a day I hate to relive. It’s a painful reminder of your huge absence. Of the massive hole in all our hearts. Forever.

I hope there is a huge party in heaven in your honor today. With good people, good food and good cheer. In typical Blake Cantley fashion.

We miss you every single day and love you always.

8/5. We would have been celebrating 13 years of marriage today. And I wish you could be here for it. But I’ll still celebrate our day, our love…Forever 🤍

Happy Sunday 🤍

To the mom doing all the boy sports on her own,

you are doing it.

You aren’t the best pitcher, but you are pitching anyway.

You are at every game, rushing to every warmup, while also managing your other kids activities.

You are at all the practices, with all the dads.

You are buying all the equipment you know nothing about.

You are doing the best you can, being both sports mom and dad.

And he will always remember you showing up, trying your best and cheering him on.

So just remember, even though it can feel hard and unfair, you are doing it mama.

And he’s doing it too! 🤍⚾️

When life seems to be going well, everyone is healthy, happy, successful, and all is going as planned, trusting God comes easily, right?

But when you lose a loved one, your job, your home, maybe even your health, do you still trust Him?

I have to say, I was angry for a long time when I lost my husband (and sometimes that anger resurfaces). I had total faith that God could and would save him, but He didn’t. And that was (and still is) hard to accept. My faith was shaken. Tested. And I struggled to trust God when he allowed this to happen.

How could a good God let my 39 year old husband die? How could He rip him away from our very young children? From me?

It’s still something I struggle with and ask God often.

But what I’ve come to learn and know is our God is still good regardless of our circumstances. And he hates death just as much, if not more, than us!

But we live in a broken world. Tragedies, sin, loss are unfortunately part of it. And could you imagine going through this hard life without Him?

That’s what I had to remind myself.

Life was never promised to be easy. In fact, it was quite the opposite. But God did promise to walk with us through it all. To hold our hand, wipe our tears, to bring us a peace beyond understanding. And one day, to make all things right again.

So even when it doesn’t make sense, know He is still good and He will never leave you.

If we can trust Him through the good, we can trust Him through the trials. 🤍

If I could describe Widowhood using one word…

Lonely.

It is painfully lonely. In so many ways.

Us widows have gone from doing things as a pair to doing things solo. Our new life is lonely and isolating. And quite often that part is overlooked.

Especially if it’s been a few years or decades. But I will scream it to the rooftops for as long as I can…..just because we get used to the hard, doesn’t make it less hard and just because we get used to the lonely doesn’t make it LESS lonely.

Whether we are just adapting to our new life of widowhood, or are a few years(or decades) in, many things we used to do with a partner we now do alone. (or as the only adult- which is actually still very lonely.)

Weekends in particular can be very isolating for widows as this is a time where couples and families have their own plans or do their own thing. And we do too, but a lot of those plans you are doing by your self or as the only adult. And as time goes by, less people are coming to see you, checking in, inviting or using the guest room. And all of this combined can form a whole lot of loneliness!

One of the best (and easiest) things you can do to continue to support the widow in your life? Keep her company.

Being consistently in company with family and friends can help fill a much needed void. It wont replace our person, but it can help give us adult conversation, support, laughter, HUGS (we truly don’t get enough), and sometimes much needed cry sessions.

So if it’s been awhile or you don’t know how to keep helping the widow in your life, just keep her company. It’s really that simple. Make a plan to go hang out and watch a movie with her, help put the kids to bed, or have a bestie sleepover. Because we need company. We want company. And it’s one of the best gifts you can give 🤍

Hi! It’s me! ☝🏼

I know things have been a little quiet over here. And yes, life has been pretty hectic (but typically that’s a widowed mom’s life).

But I’ve also just been feeling a little “all cried out.” I mean I still randomly cry (because that’s grief), but I’m tired of my grief. (Or maybe tired of widowhood. Or BOTH).

Grief is exhausting, quite honestly. And some days (or weeks) you just get tired of talking about it, tired of living it, tired of it being your story.

Sometimes you just need a break from it. You need it to get a little quiet because it’s been so LOUD for so long.

But it’s still there, just tucked away. Just a little softer.

Just hidden for the moment.

Comment or share if this speaks to you 🤍