Dez Mon

OH NO, MON!!! It's da REEL capt'n! He'z gonna make me trow da truck then beet me up wit coconuts if I don give 'em back hiz gold!

Aw s**t, Mon. I've been kidnapped by da pirates Mon, but little do dem guys know, IM DA CAPT'IN NOW!!!

Wtf iz dis, Mon? Dis ting jus' fell outta da sky! Must be dem damn Martians, mon. DEY BE COMMIN TO GIT MEE!!!!

Okay Mon, dem guys beet mee up pretty good....dem bastards.
Thankfully, I still have a couple coinz left. Dis iz bulls**t, Mon.

Look at dis, Mon. I've taken som coins wit me. Dat dood and dat fish say dey wanna try to beet me up for da gold. HELL NO, MON, HELL NO!!!!

Mon, I had to beet up dat underwatta monkey so I could look fo hiz seekrit treasure.
But MONNNN, look at dem guys, dey be stealin da gold away from me, Mon. Dey Betta stop before I coach dem!

YA MON! Dat monkey brought me to hiz house. I wonder how he breathes here? Don't matter, Mon. Imma steel hiz treasure, and buy ALL da trucks!!!

DAYMN MON!!! Dis ting iz HUUUUGE, but not as huge as yo mama, Mon.

Mon, look at dis guy...smh.

Dis iz whut happens wen dem guys be taken 30 minute breaks!

Mon, da see iz such a boring ass place. Why no excitement, Mon?

O S**T, O S**T, O S**T, MON!
I'm not your lunch, Mon, ITS NOT EVEN TIME LUNCHTIME YET!!!

BAD FISH, BAD FISH, BAD FISH! Go away and stok da see-food aisle Mon, STOP DIS S**T NOW!!!

WTF........MONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!
Dem suns of bi***es who survived da sinking are gettin'away, Mon........AND DEY DIDNT EVEN FINISH DA JOB MON!!! On top of dat, dem bastads arr leevin' mee behind, I Kant believe dis.
Dat damn monkey I met in da watta yesterday Betta help me find dem so I kan knock dem out wit coconuts