Mark Cox

If you’re parenting a middle schooler or high schooler, you already know this: the conversations don’t get easier, they just get quieter (or maybe that's just my conversations).

As kids grow, they often share less spontaneously. They might be quietly taking lessons from their friends or from culture. They're testing ideas internally. They feel things deeply but don’t always have language for their thoughts. And many parents tell us the same thing: “I don’t want to say the wrong thing, so sometimes I say nothing at all.”

I know how that feels. But here’s the encouragement we want to offer you: Silence often communicates more than we realize.

Right now in our student ministry, we’re in a teaching series on dating and relationships. That alone can stir up anxiety for parents. You may wonder what your student is thinking, what they’re experiencing, or what they’re hearing from friends, social media, and culture. The temptation is to avoid the topic completely. But, in my experience, avoiding the topic will just create a bigger, unavoidable situation later.

My suggestion: lean in now.

Research from the Springtide Research Institute shows that adolescents today feel emotions intensely and are actively looking for trusted adults who will listen without judgment. Students who experience open, honest conversations at home report higher levels of emotional resilience and are more likely to process difficult topics in healthy ways.

In other words, when parents step into uncomfortable conversations with boldness and compassion, students are less likely to seek answers in isolation. Honest conversations don’t start with lectures. They start with curiosity.

Try questions like:
What are kids your age saying about dating right now?
What do you think makes a relationship healthy?
What are some unhealthy things you see in relationships?

Then listen. Resist the urge to correct every answer. Let your student talk themselves into clarity. Often, the goal is not resolution, but connection.

Here's a challenge for this week. Choose one low-pressure moment: a car ride, a late-night snack, or a walk. Ask one thoughtful question connected to relationships or emotions. Then listen longer than feels comfortable. Many times, a side-by-side conversation is easier than a face-to-face conversation. Doing something together might pave the way for the words to flow more easily.

And my hope is that, down the road, your student will remember that you leaned in rather than avoided. Lean into the awkward now, and it will pay off later! You've got this!

Keep going!
mc

Give a student something meaningful, and they'll be more engaged in their relationship with God!

Reimagining Student Leadership Abe Haley talks about the value of student leadership as we engage this generation.

As we wrap up another season of camps, it occurred to me that and I got into full-time ministry 20 years ago. I don’t have many camp pictures from that season (sorry Genoa folks!), but I found some old photos of going to camp with my home church, . I’m so thankful that I had a great youth pastor in and a great group of people who pointed me to Jesus! Also super thankful for and for providing the best camp experience a kid could ask for! I think about those moments from time to time and have nothing but gratitude!
Pic 1: and me. Thick as thieves.
Pic 2: getting payback (we deserved it)
Pic 3: and me. Thankful!
Pic 4: Some of the best camp counselors in the world.
Pics 6-8: Pure madness. Also I can see Kipton in the last one!

Here’s to another 20!

So thankful for you ! I love doing life with you and raising our three knuckleheads together. Happy anniversary!