Marie Rossiter - Writer

Perfect day at Benninghofen Playground! Come visit The Lane Libraries Bookmobile and Hamilton City Schools Food Truck until 1 pm today! Then, the Bookmobile heads to Bob Gentry Park from 1:30 to 2:30! Loving our summer tour! 📚

2002 Temperature Blanket for Miss E is up to 7 full rows!!

Another year, another project underway. This one is for my youngest daughter and will cover her first year of life: Feb 2002 to Feb 2003. I have all the colors and im@off to the races. Let’s see how long it takes!

I actually completed 2 crochet hexagon blankets this year! I started in the 2024 temperature blanket in January and followed through until New Year’s Eve! I got behind a few times and December was rough to keep up with lots of stuff going on. The second blanket is Cailyn’s — same pattern, different color scheme and it’s for Feb 7, 1998 to Feb 6 1999: her first full year. I started hers in late July and finished it a few days before Christmas! I’ve never followed through on a single project like this—so these feel like a miracle LOL. For 2025, I’ll make one for Erin for her first year of 2002. Colors are picked out and I’m just waiting for the yarn to arrive in the mail. If you think you can’t do something, try anyway. You might surprise yourself!

Enjoying The Nutcracker so much! Hard to believe how many years we had watching our girls dance at our local dance studio —from flowers and cadets to angels and snow drops and even Clara, the list goes on. The music and dancing brings all the memories back 🥲

It has begun…

It's been about a month since I recommitted to myself. I signed back up for WW, but decided to abandon the white-knuckle approach of eating and exercise.

For a long time, I talked about not chasing perfection. But, inside, I constantly beat myself down when I didn't nail every aspect of this journey. When I'd look at the scale, I'd see a number that didn't align with how I felt.

So, I needed to do more, work harder, and get faster. For short periods, my emotional state would be fantastic, but then I'd crash when looking at the numbers or myself in the mirror.

This time, I'm working on that side of the journey as I go along. Healthy living isn't as simple as counting points or calories and constantly working out. If it were that simple, no one would have an obesity problem.

I'm examining the ups and downs (literally on the scale and emotionally) and genuinely starting to understand that it's all part of this gift we call living. I'm working through not looking at every piece of data I track or things I do as a way to judge myself and my worth.

I believe my "failures" of the past are rooted in that dysfunctional thinking. I used to avoid those feelings with food. Then, I did it with over-exercising and obsessive thoughts about food.

It's not just about the food--that is not inherently good or bad. It's how I connect with food in relation to myself.

It's all about how I feel about myself where I'm at now--not 100 pounds from now.

And it's challenging.

Yet, I'm facing it and getting stronger each day.

Avatar the Last Airbender is a huge part of our family history. We got tickets for in concert as soon as we heard it was coming to the . So grateful we could enjoy this together!

So, apparently, the dogs all have "almost twins" at our groomer. THESE are our adorable pups! Thanks to Erin for sussing out the "Fake News" I spread earlier LOLOLOLOL

The lower brain voice is powerful.

The sting hits hard even when I recognize that the negativity she dumps out is 100% garbage.

I have an ongoing battle with the scale. My intelligent brain knows it is merely a point in time, a tool in my arsenal as I refocus on my health and well-being. It provides data and a means to track progress.

But for some reason, it triggers my lower brain voice.

Every time.

After so many years of this struggle, I believe I will one day not have so many thoughts about a number on the scale.

Today is not that day.

When the scale goes up two days in a row despite my best actions, I second guess myself.

I have repeatedly said (both to myself and out loud) that weighing myself is not about the number yesterday or today. It's about the ones next week, next month and next year. That's where the truth in data lives.

But I'm living in the right now, and it sucks to see that number go up when I feel like I don't deserve it.

And that right there...the feeling of earning a loss or a gain...is at the core of my emotional dysfunction with my body and my eating habits.

My rationale side knows I cannot control a box on the ground day in and day out. It also knows I am in the early stages of regaining control of my behaviors and thought processes regarding better self-care.

And I want the scale to reflect my consistently improving healthier habits and mind work.

Unfortunately, that's not how it works, and yet again, I'm faced with the disconnect of two realities.

Both can be true. I don't have to like it.

This is not a new feeling; I have been down this path so many times that I believe I can do it blindfolded.

Previously, though, I have allowed my discomfort with both truths to cause enough fear and frustration to shut down.

Today, I will face the feelings and the discomfort that lies there. It may tell me something I don't yet know or understand.

Maybe I'll never wholly desensitize myself to the scale. Maybe I shouldn't.

I think I just want to be able to live a little more peacefully with its role in my life.

I'm not there yet.

Adding "There are no gold stars" to my life soundtrack.

There are No Gold Stars (But There’s a Lot of Self-Imposed Pressure) Lesson #20 of 40