Dr. Margaret Rutherford

How often have you tried to tell a doctor what you’re experiencing or what you think might be medically wrong- and the doc says,”Well… that can’t be it “. And especially if you’re a woman! It’s infuriating. And it’s called

Do you know how to replace one thought with another -that’ll work much better? It’s a very active choice. Listen in. If you can see that the thought you’re having isn’t helping, then replace it. Say it out loud if you need to. Can you imagine doing that? It helps… a lot.

If you have a chronic complex invisible illness, please listen to this episode. If you love someone with one, please share. What Amy Kurtz went through, both medically and emotionally, is something you or they understand on a gut level. AMY KURTZ

What is your experience? Have you been labeled for one thing that you “are” but been limited as ONLY that thing or trait? “oh she’s a psychologist and you know how they are.” Or “oh he’s Catholic and you know how they are.” If you don’t want it done to you, then don’t do it to others. Please. It’s called cultural humility. And it’s vital for healthy communication and understanding. check out the link in my bio.

Here’s the question today… a listener pointed out that my being white would influence my view of life. And of course she’s right. And… I talk about what’s been very important to me for decades. And that’s what’s termed cultural humility.

I’m just as guilty as many folks who struggle with feeling that you’re only as valuable as your last “win” or positive achievement. My ego yaps at me inwardly! I can catch myself but some days are harder than others. What about you??

Perfectionism can seem like your best friend. It’s your go-to. Best self. “I can always count on my determination to not just get the job done, but to do it better.” Better than what? The last time? The first time? When can it be “good enough?” If the answer is “never,” that’s not determination. That’s fear.

When parents respond to a grown child’s questioning of their childhood experience defensively, a huge opportunity for healing can be lost. Don’t say “Yes… but….”. It only adds more hurt to an already hurtful experience. And sometimes even .

SelfWork released its 500th official episodes de this week!! I could think of no better guest than Paul Gilmartin of Mental Illness Happy Hour fame! He talks very openly about his abuse from his mom who had traits. (Trigger warning…) And how he dealt with her emotional manipulation. It was an honor…

When taking responsibility is what you do. When getting the job done perfectly takes center stage - no matter how large or small the job, you can hide behind that busy-ness. When you’re focused on tasks, emotional connection can be avoided. Is this the way you feel? Or the way you see someone else living their life?? I call it reach out!!