In Case I Forget

Medication can’t stop what dementia is doing in the brain. Yesterday, I needed to give Mommy medication. It wasn’t for behavior; it was for a procedure. The outcome was the same. It took her OUT! She couldn't control her movements and was not responding like she normally does. While giving her medication yesterday was necessary because of her procedure, doing that to her every day (for BEHAVIOR) would kill her. I would see a significant decline, no mobility, and basically she would be a zombie.

My opinions are my own, but we need to take a deeper look into why medicine is ALWAYS the initial response to behavior for someone living with dementia.

Why aren’t caregivers connected to behavior specialists for research-based strategies? Why aren’t we looking at what individuals living with dementia are trying to communicate? Because behavior IS communication.

Medicine can calm them, but it doesn't eliminate the behavior. Understanding why gives you insight and lets you implement strategies. Now, I understand there are outliers, but we want to make sure medicating our LOs isn't the first response. Instead ask:
Are they in pain?
Are they hungry?
Are they scared?
Are they frustrated?
Is the environment overstimulating them?
Are they tired?

At the end of the day, our LOs are depending on us to help them. Sometimes that means doing the work to understand WHY the behavior is happening AND bringing in additional help to give you strategies to be successful. 🦋🩵

I don't have a long message. We are just grateful. 12 years ago TODAY, Mommy was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. What a journey it's been.

I am just thankful that she's here one more day. Our life is truly proving that God is good, EVEN in this.

World Alzheimer’s Day. Mommy has been in the game for 12 years. 🦋🩵

When people believe that dementia is just about memory loss (forgetting), I have to gently remind them that there is so much more to dementia.

Mommy has been grinding her teeth HARD for the past few months. It's her new behavior, if you will. First, she slapped her head. Then it was biting the inside of her left hand and the right side of her shirt. This was in addition to her making the eeeeeeeee sound. Now, it's the continuous grinding of her teeth.

I did the work and took her to a dentist early on. They couldn’t even get a mold for a mouth guard. At this point, there is nothing we can do.

THIS IS DEMENTIA!!!!

Last night, the tooth finally cracked. This is what you don't get to see. This is what dementia does. Thankfully, I have kind people to help me. I called my girl Sennette Aiello for help, because asking for help is HOLY!

Dementia also impacts me as a caregiver. This is my BUSIEST week. I have two important IEP meetings, interviews for new caregivers, work meetings, and let’s not forget my life as a mom and wife.

But in the middle of the mess, grace abounds. The Lord is kind and will do just what He said concerning Mommy’s life. I’m just walking through the story He already designed for us. Whew. More grace, God.

1. If you're new here, Mommy is going to get an F. It's a running joke in our community. You can petition for a grade change, but I am the principal, superintendent, assistant principal, and CEO. It will be an F. 😂

2. We love to laugh and have fun. If you're new, read the room. We joke A LOT!!!! It's ok to laugh.

We wanted to do a quick fit check before the farmer’s market. Hubby and I will never get this right, and he doesn’t care 🤣!

We only get one life and one chance. LIVE and have fun.

My shirt is from my store and Caregiver’s Closet. Shop incaseiforgetconsulting.com

When you think about Alzheimer’s, you immediately think memory loss! Unfortunately, it's so much more than that. I believe if it were just memory loss, it would be easier to navigate. But having a cognitive disability of this magnitude means their independence is gone.

Things like cooking, cleaning, driving, getting dressed, incontinence, managing finances, following conversations, trying to remember and retrieve vocabulary, solving problems, processing, movement, making decisions, recognizing familiar faces, and behavior changes all happen because of dementia.

We need to keep having these conversations to bring awareness! Dementia is cruel because it takes more than memory. It steals their entire life.

This video was taken at Westfield UTC! It was a beast to navigate, and it was NOT accessible. Even areas with elevators were hard to navigate and were not close to handicap parking. We had to go through the back door of a restaurant to get in. Thankfully, a manager saw us struggling and led us through the back way. Smh.

What am I assessing? I want to see if Mommy can process and answer questions. The answers don’t necessarily have to be correct. I also want to track her ability to follow conversations and how long she can hold information in her brain to repeat back to me.

You always assess your LO in an environment conducive to learning! What does this look like? It looks like us having fun, laughing, and joking, but I am also gathering data on what she should be able to do at this stage of the disease. This is a simple way to assess, observe, track, and collect data and compare it to previous data.

OAN: She gets an F for not knowing she’s Black. I tried curving the grade, but she’s got to know her history. I guess we will take tan as an answer.✊🏾