a better monday

The day I left my full-time job, I thought the hard part was going to be starting the business.

It wasn’t.

The hard part was claiming a new identity. I’d spent 10 years building credibility inside of someone else’s brand. Doing it for myself - showing up, being visible, owning my voice - felt completely different. Scarier and like I hadn’t earned it yet.

The other thing nobody talks about is money. Not in a glamorous way, but in a real way. A salary with benefits gets sold as stability, and I get it, because for a lot of people it is. But my definition of stability is not someone else deciding if I have a job. Building A Better Monday meant taking ownership of that.

And then there’s the loneliness. Not just the starting-over part. The not-being-around-my-people part. I had to build that too.

I’m sharing this because Instagram is full of glamour shots of entrepreneurship. These are the things that actually kept me up at night — and kept me from starting sooner. The glowing moments are real too. But so is this.

If you’ve got a fear or a question about what it actually takes to start something, drop it in the comments.

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

If you’re in the doer-to-decision-maker transition, here’s what actually helps.

1. Get clear on what you’re actually responsible for now. What does your role exist to achieve? Start there.

2. Learn what it means to lead others, not be a doer. Your job now is to make sure the people executing the work have what they need. Clear direction, thought partnership, resources, and someone to run interference when Ben from finance gets involved in an unhelpful way.

3. Notice when you’re micromanaging out of nerves, and get ahead of it. The urge to jump back in and do it yourself usually isn’t about other people’s capabilities, it’s about control. Ask yourself: what would it take for me to trust this? Usually the answer is more visibility — check-ins, milestones, progress points built in before you get to “”I’m just taking it back.””

4. Get support for the mental and emotional side of this. The shift from doer to decision maker changes how you see yourself at work. You don’t have to figure that out alone.

Save Part 1 if you haven’t yet. And if you’re working through this transition and want support, DM us.

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

The first year I was a decision maker, I silently thought I was failing almost every day.

I used to be a doer. My value had receipts — deliverables, deadlines, things you could point to. A good day was visible.

Then I got promoted, and suddenly I couldn’t tell if I’d done anything.

Here’s what nobody explains: as a doer, your value is visible. As a decision maker, it’s mostly invisible. You’re thinking, asking questions, clearing the path so your team can move. That is the work — it’s just not the kind that shows up on a checklist. Nobody told you the scorecard changed overnight.

I hear this constantly in coaching. Women get promoted because they were executing at a high level — reliable, delivering, trusted. Then the role changes completely and the old measures don’t apply anymore.

You are not failing. Your job changed, so the game changed.

If you’ve ended a day feeling like you added zero value and you’re about to get found out — I see you. Part 2 is coming.

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

We took the Sunday Scaries quiz ourselves. Amanda’s archetype is in.

Turns out: building the quiz does not make you immune to the quiz.

Amanda’s archetype is the Prover. The short version — the bar keeps moving. Nothing is ever quite enough, and the second Sunday hits, everything unfinished can come barreling back in at once. She goes quiet and grumpy, sometimes snappy. And when she tries to hold it in, it grows.

You can probably tell if you know someone like this.

We’re curious — if you and a partner or close colleague both take the quiz, what are your archetypes? How do they show up together? We have stories about that. More coming.

Comment QUIZ or click the link in bio — three minutes, free reset kit straight to your inbox.

👇 Drop your archetype in the comments.

We’ve been building the Sunday Scaries quiz behind the scenes for months. So we took it ourselves.

Turns out: knowing about Sunday Scaries does not protect you from Sunday Scaries.

Lizzie’s archetype is the Emotional Weather Forecaster. The short version — she’s constantly scanning for anything that could be off: tone of voice, body language, that one email... And on Sundays at it’s worst, she goes vacant: physically present, mind completely somewhere else. She’s senario planning and working through every possible outcome. What did I forget? What’s tomorrow going to feel like?

Amanda can tell immediately. You probably can too, if you know someone like this.

Comment QUIZ or click the link in bio and go take the Sunday Scaries quiz yourself — it only takes three minutes and your free reset kit comes straight to your inbox. Amanda’s Sunday Scaries archetype is up next!

By 11am every Sunday, I was already in a full anxiety spiral.

I tried everything: better boundaries, planning ahead, protecting my time. I still dreaded them.

What actually helped was getting specific — not about Sundays in general, but about my specific pattern.

Turns out I’m a Prover. The bar I set for myself has always been impossibly high, and it moves every time I get close. Once I understood that, I had somewhere real to look instead of just throwing more habits at the problem.

That’s exactly what the Sunday Scaries Quiz does. Three minutes to find your pattern, and you’ll get a free reset kit built around what’s actually driving yours.

If you want Sundays to start feeling like a weekend day again, click the link in bio or comment QUIZ ⬇️ and I’ll send it straight to your inbox.

If you’re a woman at work, you’re already doing this math. Part 2.

This one’s for the moment someone repeats your idea and gets the response you didn’t.

What to say:
→ “”I’m glad that’s resonating — that’s exactly what I was getting to earlier. Let me build on that for a moment.””

You’re just bringing it back around without a blowup or accusation.

And sometimes you do all the math and the answer is: it’s not worth it right now. Trust what you’re seeing and read the room.

You are not the problem. You have never been the problem. The problem is that you’re expected to do advanced calculus while also just trying to do your job.

Save this. Practice it until it’s automatic.

What’s the hardest version of this math you’ve had to do?

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

If you’re a woman at work, I’d bet you’re doing this mental math every single day. Part 1.

You might not even realize it’s happening, but there is a constant, exhausting calculation running in the background every time you speak up, push back, or take up space.

It’s not just will this land well. It’s will this land well coming FROM ME. And that is a completely different equation.

And if you hold marginalized identities? The math gets even more complicated. We’re not talking basic arithmetic anymore. We’re talking next-level calculus just to get through a single meeting.

Here are two things you can start practicing. Edit to match your voice and context.

When you want to push back:
“”I see this differently. I’d love to share where I’m coming from and hear where you’re coming from.””

When you want to own your work:
“”It was such a privilege to lead that project. Here’s what it took to get there.””

Small steps, many times.

Stay tuned for Part 2 — because we’re just getting started.

Have you caught yourself doing this mental math at work? Tell us in the comments.

Content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, HR, or mental health advice. Coaching services are not therapy or mental health treatment.

Ridiculous emails women have to deal with at work. Volume 1.

We’re just going to leave these here.

📧 Credit Grabbing. Translation: I took your idea, put my name on it, and I’m offering you a seat at your own table.

📧 Mansplaining. Translation: I don’t think you understand your own report. Let me fix that for you.

📧 Undermining. Translation: I went around you, managed your team, and CC’d Mark to make sure everyone knows it.

This is Volume 1, because because there are way too many to fit in one post.

Drop the most unhinged work email you’ve ever received in the comments. We’re reading every single one. 👇

And follow along...next week we’re breaking down exactly how to respond to each of these.

“If you’ve been called “too emotional” at work, let’s talk about what’s actually happening.

Someone got uncomfortable. And they made it your problem.

“Emotional” is code for: you had a reaction I didn’t like, and now I need you to be smaller.

It’s a redirect away from what you actually said, straight to how you said it. And suddenly, we’ve lost the point entirely.

Here are 3 clap-backs that bring it back to the real issue:

1. In a meeting:
“Can we get back to what I said - what specifically did you disagree with?”

2. In a 1-on-1:
“When you say emotional, can you be specific about what you mean? After reflecting, my perspective is that I was being clear, so I want to make sure we talk this through together.”

3. When it’s a pattern:
“I’ve noticed this comes up often. Can you help me understand what the concern is?”

Calling women “emotional”is a tool to shut you down. But you get to choose your response and redirect it back to the root.
Send this to someone who’s been on the receiving end. And drop a comment: what else are you navigating at work? I want to know.