Crosspointceo

Need to have a difficult conversation? Meet with them or at least call. Don’t “debate” on Facebook. Those who agree with you will say so; those who do not will say so. Funny how the other person is always the one who is misguided and misinformed.

“I’m not saying it’s your fault, I’m just blaming you.”

Probably not a good idea to begin a mediation with wry humor like this…

“I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”

Conflict Coaching Tip for Professionals: “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” -Ambrose Pierce

Fisher and Ury said it well in “Getting to Yes,”

1. Separate people from the problem.
2. Focus on interests, not positions.
3. Invent options for mutual gain.
4. Insist on using objective criteria.

These four points can help you navigate through most negotiations.

“The ultimate test of a moral society is the kind of world that it leaves to its children.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Conflict Coaching Tips for Leaders: three key variables in any negotiation are power, information, and time.

Conflict Coaching Tip for Leaders: before entering a negotiation, ask yourself,

1. Can I overlook this issue?
2. Is it worth my time and energy that I might need to invest?
3. Why? Will this meet my goals? Or is it a distraction?

As it has been said, “You score as many runs stopping at third base as you do striking out.” Make sure you complete the agreement with a specific action plan that states specifically how the agreement will happen-who does what by when and how much.

Before heading into a mediation, or crucial conversation, be sure and think about what you want, what you do not want, what you want for the relationship, and how you will act differently as a result.

Mediation is not about one person proving herself or himself right, but rather it is about working together towards an acceptable and appropriate resolution.

As you prepare to enter a mediation session, ask yourself, “What do I need to feel safe in this mediation so that I will remain in dialogue?”