Well Being Psychotherapy

Breathe, you are alive.

"According to a survey from the American Psychological Association, 76 percent of Americans are concerned about the future of the nation. This is now the leading cause of stress, above the economy or work or money." Robert Reich

Ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing leading me to the heart or away from the heart?”

One way to meditate

A few minutes of meditation can make a big impact on stress.
In a recent study: The brain waves of people focusing on their breath changed to suggest they had entered a more relaxed state after just two or three minutes. Here’s how: it’s a simple meditation that involves paying attention to natural breathing. With this type of meditation, you bring your focus back to the inhale and exhale if your mind wanders. Previous studies have shown this quiet, attentive state can promote relaxation and lower stress levels.

Previous studies have shown this quiet, attentive state can promote relaxation and lower stress levels. The researchers looked at how the participants’ brain wave activity changed during a 10-minute meditation session. Within just two or three minutes, all groups showed EEG changes that suggest a more relaxed state.

Meditation primarily affects the brain’s executive function, or the ability to manage and regulate what you think, feel and do. When practicing it regularly, “we see the executive network become more intentional, so you’re more in the driver’s seat of thoughts, emotions and impulses,” said Cortland Dahl, research scientist at the University of Wisconsin Center for Healthy Minds.
Studies suggest meditation may increase brain thickness in areas related to emotional regulation and sensory processing, and that it may reduce emotional reactivity, boost cognitive functions such as focus and attention, and improve stress resilience. Meditating can also make you more resilient to stress and your body less reactive to it, decreasing blood pressure, heart rate and stress hormone levels. While the study looked at focused breathing, experts say any type of meditation can yield similar results.

- Washington Post

What is your purpose? "According to this teaching, there is nothing you need to become. There is nowhere you need to go. There is nothing you need to accomplish. There is nothing for you to realize. There is no project for you to realize. You are already what you wish to become. When we ask a rose or an orchid, ‘Why are you here? What is your purpose?’ The flower might answer, ‘I am here to make life more beautiful. I am here to bring you joy.’ But the flower could also answer, ‘I am simply here.’ I am here just to be here. To be is already enough.” Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh

Wisdom from Jack Kornfield
Dear ones,

One of the deepest illusions we live inside is the belief that we must become someone else before we are worthy of love.

More healed.
More confident.
More accomplished.
More spiritual.

But listen carefully:
You were never meant to earn belonging.

You were born into it.

The oak tree doesn’t apologize for growing slowly.
The river doesn’t question its bends.
The moon doesn’t worry about being incomplete.

And yet human beings spend entire lifetimes trying to correct their existence.

We think we must be fixed before we are welcomed.

But wholeness is not something you achieve.
It’s something you remember.

In meditation, people often tell me they feel “too messy” to be peaceful.

Peace doesn’t come from being perfect.
It comes from being honest.

You are allowed to be unfinished.
You are allowed to be human.
You are allowed to struggle and still be holy.

The point is not to perfect yourself.
The point is to perfect your love.

With metta,
Jack

*This article was inspired by themes from my new book out now, All In This Together: Stories and Teachings for Loving Each Other and Our World.

“Always come back to the body. The reason people get stuck on the healing path, a major reason, is they believe they can heal by understanding things intellectually. I doesn’t work like that, it needs to come back to the body. Stay aware of the body, what is happening inside.”

Gabór Mate, MD

Regulating your nervous system when you feel activated or dysregulated

To come back toward regulation, unhook awareness from preoccupation with thinking and return to the body

Redirect your awareness to neutral or positive sensations in the body

Gently touch your hand or heart, feel the body, drop into the body

Feel the points of contact with your seat, focus on the sit bones

If you feel activated in fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode, practice paced breathing for 5 or 10 breaths: take long, slow breaths and exhale for twice as long as the in-breath while noticing the points of contact of your body in the seat

Ask the activated part to give you breathing room and space so you can be with it. Ask other parts to step back, so your Self can be present to help

If you are able to have some curiosity or compassion toward the upset part, let it know that, find out what’s wrong and kindly reassure it (RAIN practice can help)

Connect with a loved one if you need more soothing and support

Are you feeling anxious or panicked? Try these exercises.
VAGUS NERVE EXERCISES FOR CALMING THE BODY-MIND

Paced Breathing
When your exhale is longer than your inhale, it signals to your body and mind that you are safe and can get you out of the flight/flight/freeze/fawn survival mode and into rest/digest/connect mode. The important thing is to have your out breath be longer than your in breath. So, you have to slow down the exhale. You can try breathing in for say 4 seconds, holding for 2 seconds, then exhale for 8 seconds. Or, you can count the seconds of each in breath and double the exhale. Repeat for 3 rounds, then breathe naturally.
Voo Breath
1. Find a Comfortable Position: Sit or lie with your back straight, and your body relaxed.
2. Take a Deep Breath In: Inhale deeply, allowing the breath to fill your belly and chest.
3. Make the “Voo” Sound: As you exhale, make a deep “voo” sound from your gut. Aim to create a sound similar to a foghorn. The vibration can come from your belly and resonate through your body and throat. Don’t strain or try too hard to do it just right. Be easy and kind.
4. Feel the Vibration: Focus on the vibration created by the sound.
5. Repeat the Process: Continue the cycle of deep breaths and “voo” sounds at least 3 times or for several minutes. You can do this for as long as it feels comfortable.
6. Rest and Reflect: After a few minutes, stop and rest. You may like to place a hand over any area where you notice sensations to help ground yourself. Notice the change in how you feel.
(Some people chant OM, which has a similar effect.)

Bee Breath
This is similar to Voo breath, but instead of making the Voo sound, hum on the out breath so you sound like a buzzing bee.

Butterfly Hug
There are two options for this bilateral stimulation which can help you self-soothe, ground, calm your nervous system and process trauma. You can either cross your arms over your chest and tap each hand on the opposite arm in a gentle, rhythmic pattern. Or, you can cross your thumbs and place your hands on the center of your chest forming a butterfly and gently tap one hand then the other on your chest. Do whichever feels best to you. Be gentle and kind.

Save your adrenaline and cortisol for when you actually need to flee or fight in the moment. Take action to prevent future harm.

Lisa Cottrell, LPC